This Would Be A Reality
by Jaro-ship
Summary: Sequel to If It Were A Perfect World. 7.5 years after her graduation, Rose is living her life as Lissa's guardian, Dimitri's girlfriend, and the Queen's confident. But what happens when the peace ends when people keep secrets from each other? FINISHED.
1. Chapter 1

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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"And, oh, I just want it to be something Lissa will remember forever," Tatiana gushed, oblivious to the time. My shift had ended – the night guardians had taken over – and I was trying to get out of the Court. My plans, however, were in vain, because it seemed that the queen had plans to keep me here (and away from Dimitri) for as long as possible.

"Ma'am, I know you want it to be great-"

"Not great, Rosemarie, perfect," Tatiana said, cutting me off. It was something she did regularly.

"Perfect, then. But ma'am, I really-"

"Don't you think this vase would look perfect at the party?" Tatiana asked me, handing me a vase she picked up off the end table we stopped by.

"Yes, but-"

"It can be moved, replaced, whatever the staff does around here."

"Ma'am, my shift is over and I don't think-"

"I don't care what you think right now. How about a purple color scheme for the party?"

Filthy, bloody hypocrite, I thought miserably.

"Um, I think it'd be fine. Last I checked, though, I think that's the color scheme Lissa's using for her wedding."

"Oh, well that won't do, now will it?" Tatiana stood there, eyeing me. I looked down at my usual guardian outfit (black, crisp pants, white button-down shirt, black trench coat for hiding weapons, sensible black shoes) and then back up at her. I was still amazed that she let me say two full sentences without Lissa in the room.

"No ma'am," I said, agitated that she wouldn't let me go.

"Lissa?" She asked, eyeing my head. I instinctively reached up to the French braid Lissa had put in that morning.

I nodded. "She forced me into the chair."

"That sounds like Lissa." Tatiana let out a humorless, hollow chuckle. "I assume other guardians were keeping watch at the time, then?"

"Edison Castile was keeping watch, as well as Jeremy Acros and Sofya Levitsky, Lissa and Christian's secondary guardians. Of course, I wasn't completely oblivious to what else was going on in the room." I hated giving reports like that. It was against the rules to say anything but the person's full name, and I could barely remember last names. To show you didn't remember something important was a sign of weakness and inattention, which meant pay dock. I was already having a hard time enough making meet's end and the last thing I needed was to have a pay dock.

"Good. Acros and Levitsky have been guardians for a long time and St. Vladimir's did a good job of placing you and Castile. Actually, and this goes off the record, had Lissa and Ozera not come along, Acros and Levitsky would probably have been reassigned to regular Moroi," Tatiana said, spitting out the last two words like they were venom. We had started walking again, the queen's guardians following us.

"I guess that's a good thing," I said, trailing off at the end, in disagreement with the queen's views.

"Yes, yes it is. Rosemarie, I need to confide something in you. Can I trust you to keep quiet until the time is right?" Tatiana asked, a mask of fright sitting on her face. It was in that moment when I looked at her that she suddenly looked like the old woman she really was. Stress with the increasing number of Strigoi attacks had aged her quite a bit.

"Yes," I said, avoiding the cliché, "How will I know when the time is right?" If the queen knew I would know when the time is right, I would know. Even though Tatiana didn't like me or the men I happened to associate with or most of my views (which were the same as Lissa's and the queen was fine with them), through her favoring Lissa, we had to deal with each other a lot. Sadly, I knew the queen almost as well as I knew Lissa.

The queen studied me again, this time longer than any other time before. (I had noticed her watching me when I was with Lissa.) After a couple minutes, she sat down on a nearby chair and continued to study me. It was quite annoying, and I really wanted to leave so I could get home, but I stood there, guardian mode turned full on, but staring the queen straight in the eyes, always checking my peripherals.

"I know she's in a separate family line, but when I pass away, I'm leaving the throne to Lissa. Adrian's my only heir; all of my other family has passed, whether Strigoi attack or illness or car accidents or old age or what have you. I can't leave the throne to Adrian because he's male and the Moroi world is a matriarch leadership, and besides, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving it to him.

"Most of the other princesses around here only care about looks and who they're connected to and which Moroi man has captured their heart. Lissa has ideas and ambition and if you haven't noticed, I haven't placed her in a job anywhere. At your graduation, if you recall, I promised her a job in the Court. She has potential, and I don't want that to go to waste in some any old job around here."

I stood there, stunned, my tiny apartment I called home forgotten about.

"You want Lissa to be queen?" I choked out, still in disbelief.

The queen nodded slowly. "I can trust that you'll tell Lissa when it's the best time to tell her?"

"Of course," I said, my head reeling.

"And I need you to keep this quiet from anybody else; can I trust you with this?"

"Yes," I said, knowing she'd find out if I told anyone.

"Thank you, Rosemarie. You can go." Tatiana waved a hand in the direction of the end of the hallway.

I took off at a fast walk down the hallway. When I got to the door, Tatiana called out, "Keep being good to Lissa."

"I will," I called back, but I doubted that she heard me.

When the door shut behind me, I took off at a run through the main Court building (the same one Victor Dashkov's trial was held in) to the guardian workroom. We had a lounge of sorts to dump our personal items, like coats and bags, while we were on duty.

After checking my locker and the locker opposite mine across the bench, I ran out of the workroom, slipped through the door guardians had to get from the streets to the workroom, and then throwing my coat on and juggling my bag at the same time, let my legs fly as I sprinted from the building to my tiny apartment in the apartment complex half-day guardians, like myself, lived in. The queen had the complex built because half-day guardians didn't make as much money as full-day guardians and therefore were far from being able to afford a regular house.

My sprints didn't break as I pounded up the stairs four at a time, practically leaping at this point, up to the seventh floor. Guardians came at all times of the day, so nobody stuck their heads out of their doors and yelled at me to keep the noise down. People only did that if you had a loud party at one in the morning with deafening techno music from the '80s.

I unlocked the door and picked up the newspaper (our newspaper was a combination of Moroi news and human news) that had been dropped at the door this morning. The door shut softly behind me as I scanned the headlines. Nothing about me or anybody I knew except for a little blurb about Christian's recent trip to England to meet with the UK Strigoi Count Official.

Satisfied, I threw the paper and my bag onto the couch, a whole two feet away from the door. I took my coat off and, ignoring the snow the floated to the cheap carpet, made my way into the kitchen/dining room since they were combined into one room.

"Out," I read from the note sitting on the counter. "Very descriptive," I muttered and turned on the TV (literally the gorilla in the corner; the thing was a gift from Lissa and Christian last year and was huge), flipping to Hollywood Access, my secret guilty pleasure only Dimitri knew about. I absent-mindedly listened to Ryan Seacrest taking phone calls from people about their views on Brad Pitt's death in the car crash that happened a week ago as I threw together macaroni and cheese for the millionth night in a row.

The living room was the length of the wall that hid the dishwasher, sink, counter space, and three rather small cabinets from those in the living room. It was about as wide as the couch. The TV barely fit; the space between the wall concealing the side of the sink and dishwasher and the wall that the TV hung on was as wide as me, which was how I could see the TV. The refrigerator, stove/oven, and two tiny spaces of counter were opposite the sink, with a little walkway in between so somebody (and really only one person) could walk through the kitchen. There was barely enough room to get from the front door to the living room without me clipping the wall that hid the kitchen.

Lissa hated the color they painted the walls (an off-white), declaring it unsuitable for a home to look that color. With permission from Dimitri and me, she had an entire interior design team come in and take it from a bare apartment to an apartment with a Tuscan feel.

Why Tuscan was beyond me, and I could barely remember agreeing to it, but the walls were a dark (yet somehow light) brown that made the place feel tiny but huge at the same time. The coffee table was apparently imported from this tiny little place in Tuscany (how convenient) and there were paintings of Italy that were big enough so that old people could see them clearly but small enough so that they didn't feel overbearing.

The couch was made of leather and while the climate was warmer here in Philadelphia, it wasn't hot enough that I avoided sitting on the couch during the summer. It was also one of those couches that unfolded into a bed. Lissa made sure of it since my mother visited occasionally and when Lissa felt nice enough to lend Dimitri and I some money to fly in his mother or one of his sisters every once in a while.

The doors were painted the same shade of brown (as was the rest of the apartment), and there were two on the door space between the kitchen and the front door. The one on the right was a tiny, narrow bathroom with the same Tuscan theme, shower curtain and all.

The one on the left was the bedroom Dimitri and I shared (the apartment complex was designed so that only one person lived in each apartment; it was rare for a couple to live permanently together), and it wrapped behind the kitchen. There was barely enough room to put in a queen-sized bed, two night stands, a wardrobe, and a stand-up closet Lissa ordered from IKEA, some home furnishing store I was supposed to know about. Lissa had grumbled about the closet since, according to her, there was supposed to be a closet already built in.

The bedroom was the relief of the Tuscan theme. While I don't remember why we went with a Tuscan theme, I do remember my having an argument with Lissa about the bedroom. Lissa insisted that we needed to keep the theme consistent; I pointed out that only Dimitri and I would be seeing the bedroom, so it wasn't like the theme needed to find its way there. In the end, after much grumbling and reluctance, Lissa let us design the bedroom, going with a much simpler black and white theme.

I ate in the living room and watched as Ryan kept taking more calls, mostly from women my age and movie producers who had worked with him. I was amazed at how possessive humans were over a person they had either never met or worked with for only a short time. Granted, my thoughts were a bit hypocritical being half human myself, but it was still funny and interesting to watch.

Hollywood Access changed into some new show I didn't really care about watching, so I channel-surfed for a little while and ended up coming across the repeat of Jon Stewart from the night before on Comedy Central. I turned it down to keep as background noise while I read through the newspaper. Mostly it was about the queen and her declining health and what would happen if she were to die, something I found as kind of ironic considering the conversation the queen and I had earlier. The editorial was about who the editor thought would take over the throne should Tatiana die. Lissa wasn't mentioned anywhere.

The human newspaper was focused on the candidates for next year's presidential election and some new reform the president was all excited about, along with most of America. The weather forecast called for more snow for the next week, which would no doubt make Dimitri happy, since the last two winters had been filled with little snow and the occasional downpour that turned into ice overnight.

Eventually Jon Stewart changed into The Colbert Report, and I turned the TV back up so I would know what Eddie was talking about today. Normally I was too tired to make it to 11:30, which was when the original broadcasting of The Colbert Report happened, and therefore Eddie's recapping was all one-sided with me since I had no idea what had happened the night before.

Stephen Colbert had slowly been turning into my favorite comedian. It was helpful on my stress levels to laugh every day, even if it was only for a half hour and the occasional sarcastic quip from Eddie or Fya (my nickname for Sofya) throughout the day.

8:30 turned into 9:00, and the TV went back down. The forgotten macaroni-and-cheese bowl and fork was taken care of, and I went about doing just general tidying up of the apartment. It was a weird night of ease and feeling comfortable; normally Dimitri would be home and he'd be musing over his laptop and more often than not, nursing some vodka-infused drink he made that night. The two cabinets next to the dishwasher rivaled the stock of liquor a nightclub had.

Trying to keep the feeling alive, I changed into a pair of old sweats from [the college Lissa and I went to] and a ratty tank top that survived from my high school years, turning the heat up a little when I went back out into the living room. Dimitri still wasn't home, but I tried not to think about it too much. At 11, when that night's Jon Stewart came back on, I brushed my teeth and threw my hair up into a haphazard, makeshift bun. Surprised by my ability to stay up this late, I went ahead and watched that night's The Colbert Report, too, excited to actually be able to put in my two cents with Eddie tomorrow.

When the show was over, I gave up trying to wait for Dimitri, and shut the TV off and turned the lights off in the living room, plunging the apartment into darkness. I felt my way into the bedroom, and turned the light on, quickly switching the lights so that my bedside lamp was on. I pulled the bun out, letting my hair, now wavy from the loose French braid Tatiana had commented on, drop around my shoulders and down my back. It was a little shorter with the waves, so it didn't fully make it to its usual halfway-down-my-back spot.

I got into bed, the 500-count thread sheets warmed from the heat I had turned off – a little thing Dimitri and I did to save money. With one last look at Dimitri's side of the bed, crumpled sheets pulled up to the pillows to try and convince me that the bed was actually made that morning, I shut the light off, once again plunging the apartment into complete darkness (save the street lamp outside), and fell asleep.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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When I woke up at six, I was greeted with the sight of a snoring Dimitri. I clamped a hand over my mouth when I saw drool on his pillow. I tried not to laugh, but I failed miserably.

"What?" Dimitri asked, his voice groggy and still heavy with sleep. He opened his eyes a little bit.

"Since when do you drool?" I asked in between giggles, pointing at the pillow.

"Since when do I drool?" Dimitri repeated, sitting up enough to look at his pillow. "Oh, great. Just what I needed." He fell back against the pillow. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

"Nope," I giggled, kissing his cheek and moving to be next to him. "Just like the Cheerios and your nephew."

"Please don't remind me at this hour." Dimitri sighed.

"Speaking of whom, Peter and Natalya called me the other day while I was on duty. She recently got a raise, so she's been saving up and the two of them are going to be here next week." I put an arm across Dimitri's chest.

"Is it too close of her telling us?" I asked, worried about him flipping out. Janine showed up one time without any sort of notice except for a text I got with her saying that she'd be here in ten minutes. It took more time cleaning up the apartment after Dimitri freaked out than if he had just left it alone.

"No, no, a week is fine," Dimitri said, opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. His Russian accent had been fading over the years, and suddenly it was back so thick, I could barely understand it.

"Good," I said, moving to sit up. "I was going to tell you last night, but you weren't here when I got home."

"How late did you stay up waiting for me?" Dimitri asked. I paused in front of the door, about to leave to get in the shower.

"Midnight," I said. My hand rested on the doorknob.

"Oh," Dimitri said, and I heard the sheets rustling. "I'm surprised you stayed up that long. Normally you can barely make it past nine." I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind. I looked up at him.

"I was worried about you," I said quietly.

He shook his head. "Adrian just wanted to-" Dimitri stopped abruptly, frowning.

"Just wanted to what?" I asked.

"Nothing," Dimitri said, kissing the top of my head. I didn't want to press the subject. Adrian probably stayed up late watching TV and Dimitri's night replacement was late. That was a perfectly good explanation for what happened that night. There always was one with Dimitri. I just had to remind myself of that.

"Go take your shower," Dimitri said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Give me a second," I said, successfully roping him into several minutes of making out that I missed out on tonight. "Now I'm going. Love you." I heard a "Love you, too" as I closed the door behind me.

I was getting dressed (Dimitri was in the shower) when I reflected on the past couple of days.

My relationship with Dimitri had changed from even as short as three years ago, when Lissa and I had gotten out of college. He'd become more protective and controlling, like he was going to somehow lose me if I dressed in a purple shirt instead of a blue shirt. It was also the time he took up a second job in the Court since he knew his half-day income and my half-day income couldn't support the both of us, no matter how hard we tried.

I knew I was in what most people would call an abusive relationship; at least Dimitri was only controlling. I knew people talked about us behind our backs; I knew even Adrian, Lissa, Christian, and Eddie talked about us, and they knew the most of the story. I also knew that people would tell me to get out of my situation as fast as possible and never look back.

I had a feeling that Tatiana knew what was going on, too. Whenever Dimitri was around or came up in conversation, she would wear this smile; as I looked back, it was the same smile she would wear when she watching me with Lissa and judging if I was a good person to tell her wishes to. It was a smile that said "I have a secret none of you are ever going to know." It used to scare me, but I got used to it.

The thing was, though, was that there was more to the story than Dimitri suddenly becoming almost obsessive about me and my wellbeing. There had to be. And I wasn't just making excuses because that's what victims, like me, did to cover up for the other's bad behavior. There were too many coincidences for it to just be a change of behavior in Dimitri.

I was pulling my hair, now straight from my shower, back into a ponytail when Dimitri came in. I watched him carefully in the mirror as he moved about the room.

He wasn't totally controlling; in all reality, he could barely be classified as a controlling boyfriend. I wasn't scared of him or what he could do. He let me keep my friends as close as I wanted and wasn't worried about the conversations I had or the things I did with them. I had a healthy fear of what I would do, should I somehow lose him, but what girlfriend doesn't? The only time he told me to shut up was when the subject of just how much liquor was in our possession and he did tell me what to do a good amount of the time, along with forceful "suggestions" that I always ended up taking.

At least our relationship wasn't anything like that one couple's in that book series Lissa read a few years ago. Twilight, was it? I was pretty sure it was one of the couples in Twilight that had the abusive relationship, though at the time, I couldn't figure out just which couple exactly it was. I huffed in exasperation.

"What?" Dimitri asked, shrugging his weapons coat on, a term Christian had jokingly come up a couple of months ago.

"My hair isn't cooperating today," I lied, tugging at the hair band I was no pulling out of my hair. Dimitri came up behind me and started down it for me. Again, he barely made the classification, but that could be because the subject of my hair went back to my senior year. He didn't yank my hair back, and he wasn't rough with the brush. He finished and playfully tugged on my hair.

"Is that to your liking?" Dimitri asked, trying to pull off a British accent, his own Russian one messing it up horribly. I started laughing hysterically.

"Don't try any accent other than your own," I said, calming down after a few minutes. I looked at him in the mirror – or, rather, his reflection in the mirror. "It doesn't work for you."

"Are you saying that I couldn't run off and successfully convince the Brits that I'm one of them?" Dimitri asked, quoting a movie that had recently come out.

"Nope," I said, smiling and turning to look at his actual face. "They'd probably kick you off their land, right onto Ireland."

"Damn," Dimitri said. "Too bad it wasn't Scotland. Then I couldn't surprise Janine."

I stiffened. I knew he was referencing the time with her visit and the ten minute notice. Trying to make it look like I hadn't stiffened at all, I stood up on the tips of my toes and gave him a quick kiss.

"We're going to be late, and the queen wouldn't like it. I've already got enough demerits on my rap sheet as it is," I said, exiting the bedroom and grabbing my bag and the other coat I wore in winter. The bedroom door closed and Dimitri held the door open for me, pretending to take a hat off.

"Wrong timing," I said, closing the door after him and locking it, heading towards the stairs. He grabbed my hand and matched my stride.

"How so?" Dimitri asked. "Some new American custom I'm not aware of?"

I chuckled. "I think you know all of them. Besides, I don't know where it comes from."

"You do?" Dimitri asked, and the way he asked it gave me the sense that I had passed some kind of test back in the apartment.

"Anyway, the correct time is when you're entering a building, not exiting. Why would you have your hat on inside a building when that's considered rude and impolite?" I let go of his hand to jump down the last five steps at the fourth floor.

"That's very true," Dimitri said, meeting up with me at the landing. I put my arm around his waist and we navigated the rest of the stairs like that. "So it would be an act of removing your hat without being obvious because you're entering a building, wouldn't it?"

I couldn't help but smile a little. He seemed like a lost little Russian immigrant, with his [usual Dimitri coat in VA series] and Russian accent.

"Yes it would," I said, opening the door for him. It was snowing like crazy outside, and nearly a foot of white snow blew in the door.

"Just like home," Dimitri whispered, standing next to the door. I shoved my hands in my coat pockets and looked up at him, the thoughts of earlier forgotten about.

It was little moments like this that I knew while I would always make him happy, he would always have a little piece of him that missed Russia and those he considered close to him. That little piece of him would always be present, and I could never fully fix it with the exception of my dropping everything here and moving there with him. Dimitri knew I would never – could never – drop everything and move halfway around the globe. We both made each other happy, but we both saddened each other, Dimitri's longing for Russia the reason why.

It was also little moments like this that I desperately wished that I had the guts to say "Sayonara" to Lissa and Christian and do what Dimitri secretly wanted me to do some day.

"Let's go," Dimitri said, and I gave him my hand like it was his life preserver – which, metaphorically, it was. I was the reason he woke up each day and helped protect Moroi without much complaint.

It was ironic, the way Dimitri held my hand, with my having just thought about my hand as being his proverbial life preserver. He gripped it like it was the last thing he had, but he cradled it almost, like it was precious and easily breakable and losable, the last adjective sending the thoughts of this morning rushing into my mind and ruining the moment. I tried to push them to the side.

The snow was thick and almost blinding as we walked to the main Court building. Moroi that held high-ranking jobs or jobs that took place in the actual courtroom lived in the living quarters that were built into the back of the building, and since Christian was the assistant to the Official Strigoi Count Official, a series of new jobs Tatiana created so that they could get a feel for how many Strigoi were being killed and estimate how many were left and being created. It was good job that paid well and was considered important enough so that Christian could live in the main Court building.

I leaned into Dimitri as he half-lead the way to the main Court building through the snow, both of us lapsing into that comfortable silence that happened occasionally these days, me in my own thoughts, Dimitri in his.

We were still quiet as we entered the workroom and put our coats and my bag away, our backs touching the entire time since our lockers were opposite each other across the lone bench that ran through the middle of the aisle.

We continued to stay silent as we made our way to the living quarters, and we stopped in front of Adrian's spacious apartment. I was in it a lot since Lissa liked going there, so I knew it made my apartment look like a shoebox. Which, in a way, it was.

Dimitri looked at the clock at the end of the hall. "You should hurry. Lissa will be waking up any minute now and you need to be there." He kissed my forehead.

"I love you," I said as Dimitri fumbled with the lock. The door swung open.

"I'll see you tonight," Dimitri said, and waited for the night guardian to leave before going in himself. Henry, I think his name was.

"Took the two of you long enough," Henry joked.

"The snow's heavy outside," I said absently.

"Warning taken," Henry said and nodded before leaving.

Good-byes with Dimitri like the one we just had were common enough that I noticed them and worried about them sometimes. It made him a bit hypocritical – he gave the impression that he was scared as hell to lose me, and then he dismisses me when we part ways. There was probably some term psychologists used to describe that behavior, and after having to major in psychology because that's what Lissa wanted to do (double major in psychology and zoology while being pre-med at the same time; there are some pretty disgusting things about my body I would rather I didn't know), I should know the term.

I ran up to the even bigger apartments (Lissa and Christian's kitchen was as big as my apartment) and slipped in with the extra key that I had. The half-day night guardian, Shelby, nodded to me as we traded posts by the bedroom door.

"She's still asleep. Good morning, Guardian Hathaway," Shelby said as I gave her my key. We traded keys when we traded posts so that the other could get back in.

"Good morning to you, too, Guardian Johnson," I said, cheering on the inside that I remembered her last name. She was one of the few guardians that had family roots back to when the Royal Court was moved to Philadelphia centuries ago.

"So you remembered her last name this time," Eddie said after we faintly heard the door click shut and then lock.

"Yes I did, Castile," I said, showing off that I did remember his last name.

"Did you suddenly have a dream about our high school graduation last night?" Eddie jokingly asked, his eyes scanning the far end of the hall. While we were guardians of Moroi who had little family to the name, the Royal Court was doubly guarded from the days when we came for Victor's trial seven years ago, so the times we were in the apartment (penthouse as Eddie affectionately called it), we could relax just a bit more than if we were out and about. My Strigoi detector also really helped let us know if we could let loose a little. If I was relaxed and a little oblivious, the others had learned to know that it was okay to do the same.

"I don't think you want to know what I dreamed about last night," I said, raising my eyebrows up and down quickly.

"Oh, gross, Rose. Seriously, save it for Dimitri or something," Eddie said, pretending to make gagging noises. I smiled faintly, but mention of Dimitri ruined the joking mood I was suddenly in. Fya walked by on her rounds. She was a full-day guardian, so she and Jeremy would take turns sleeping for two hours and then walking around the apartment to make sure there weren't random Strigoi lurking in the house.

"Morning," Fya said, her Russian accent barely noticeable. Rumor had it she hadn't been to Russia since she was 19 due to money issues.

"Morning, Sofya," Eddie said, while I occupied myself by staring at the end of the hallway that had a painting of Paris at night. I heard Fya walk away.

"That was rude," Eddie pointed out.

"What?" I pulled my eyes away from the painting.

"I said 'that was rude,'" Eddie said, sounding like he was talking to a young child.

"Oh, sorry," I muttered.

"Bad night?" Eddie asked. He and Christian had accidentally found out about the bond between Lissa and me when I had started yelling at her one time about how she should tone down her sex life because I wasn't sleeping at night. Christian had rounded the corner, Eddie not far behind, and walked right into our argument, wondering how I could possibly know the status of his and Lissa's sex life when Lissa and I were on a speak-only-when-necessary status at the time.

I shook my head. "Not in the way you think."

"Fight with Dimitri?"

"Drop it, Eddie," I ordered, suddenly tense and annoyed by the whole thing.

"Was it Cold War-style?" Eddie asked, taking a jab at Dimitri, something he loved to do every once in a while since I would always be unavailable for dating. Technically, with Dimitri's birth year he was a Soviet, but since the Soviet Union fell about seven years later, he and nearly every other living person in his country considered themselves Russian and not a Soviet.

"Drop it, Eddie," I said a bit more forcefully. If I didn't stand up for Dimitri, I knew he might take it out through drinking later. Dimitri pretty much made me tell him if Eddie said something about him or Russia and what I did about it.

"You're American, aren't you? But you're half Turkish, right? So don't you have that supply of nuclear bombs that-"

"SHUT UP!" I roared, facing Eddie. My fists were clenched into tight balls and I spoke through gritted teeth. I was seething at this point. "If you must know, Dimitri didn't come home until after midnight, which was when I finally fell asleep, and I was watching him this morning, trying to figure out if the rumors you and everybody else keep going about my being the victim of an abusive relationship are true, and I swear I could feel that he knows that I was watching him, and I don't know what to do about it, so I'm trying to figure that out, and his sister is flying in next Tuesday, only he doesn't know it's Tuesday, he just knows it's next week, and I've got to make it look like I spend more than four waking hours a day in my house, and I've got this great, big secret Tatiana confided in me about Lissa that I've got to carry around for who knows how long, and my mother is considering putting word to have me transferred from my current job to a new one back at St. Vladimir's and I've got eight million issues I've got to deal with and comprehend and figure out and for most of them, solve, and I'm just a little stressed, so stop making slurs against a country and a history and a culture you know nothing about and just SHUT UP!"

I leaned against the wall, breathing hard from my long, run-on sentence that had just spilled out of my mouth, surprised I still had that kind of temper in my system. Normally I would take it out with my fists, but it would be a co-worker that I would be beating up, and that would be frowned upon by others. Words it was; words it had to be, actually, if I wanted to keep my job.

"Jesus, sorry, Rose. I had no idea," Eddie said quietly. I looked at him, my laugh sounding maniacal and dark.

"Oh you have no idea is right," I said, still breathing hard. I wasn't sure if what I had just said was a complete and grammatically correct sentence, but I didn't care. I looked at the ceiling and then the floor, swallowing and trying to even my breathing. Just then, the door between Eddie and I opened.

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**I know the relationship is a bit weird between Rose and Dimitri and nothing like you'd ever expect. (Or, right now it is.) There's a reason for that. Don't worry; Rose will be let in on the secret eventually.**

**Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I noticed an error - or, rather, I remembered an error I made. Most of you probably saw how when Rose was talking to Tatiana in the first chapter, and she said Jeremy and Sofya's names, and there were brackets after their first name. That was because I hadn't written the last chapter in If It Were A Perfect World and therefore hadn't picked out last names for them, so they were notes to me. I remembered it as I was trying to remember what Sofya's last name was, and checked.**

**It's been fixed. I'm surprised nobody told me about it, too.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

"What's going on out here? Rose, are you alright?" Christian asked, looking between me and Eddie.

"Oh, you're telling me you didn't hear it?" I asked sarcastically, quickly looking over Eddie's shoulder. Fya had stuck her head around the corner, but she pulled it away and I turned my head back to Christian.

"You woke us up," Christian stated bluntly, anger in his eyes. He let go of the door and crossed his arms, not letting Eddie or me to see into the room.

"Sorry, Eddie was being an asshole," I said darkly, shooting a look at Eddie.

"Christian?" Lissa asked, and she opened the door farther to look at Eddie and me.

"Rose is taking her stress out on Eddie," Christian said, still looking at me. He put an arm around Lissa's waist. I watched Christian enviously. "Not only is she having relationship issues, she's having family issues and stress issues and lots of issues in general. I think you said eight million?"

"You know what, Ozera, shut it, okay?" I was acting very childish, and I hated it when Christian was right. "And it's not eight million, it's only a couple."

"Then why'd you say eight million, huh, Rose? Why not twelve?" Christian asked, instigating me even further. I remember we used to get into arguments like this back when we were still in high school, and he'd normally have to go explain things to Lissa while she healed his broken nose.

"Why are you acting so immature?" I challenged.

"Why are you?" Christian shot back.

"Would the two of you be quiet?!" Lissa cried, looking from me to Christian and then back to me. She looked up at Christian. "All the two of you ever do is fight! I can't have Rose be a godmother if you can't get along with her!"

"You're pregnant?" Eddie wore a look of horror on his face. It was obvious he didn't want to have to deal with a pregnant woman this early on in his life.

"'You're pregnant?'" Lissa mimicked. "Of course I am! I'm in the bathroom half the time these days! What, too busy watching for Strigoi that wouldn't dare attack the Court to notice that little fact? Shouldn't a guardian know where his or her assigned Moroi is at all times? Right, Rose?" Lissa glared at me.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked weakly, hoping it was only a few weeks.

"Two and a half months," Lissa stated, crossing her arms, her voice returning to normal level and coming down from the two octaves she had jumped.

"Then how come…?" I asked, trailing off at the end. I was about to ask how I didn't feel it through the bond, none of the freaking out about missing her period, the excitement of finding out and telling Christian, the morning sickness, none of whatever comes with the beginning of pregnancy. I jumped to blaming it on my stress.

"Too busy worrying about stupid rumors? Jeez, Rose, what are you, stuck in high school, wishing things went they should with Dimitri, that your biggest worry is whether or not you'd finish that essay in time for the next day's class but you keep getting sidetracked by something Jesse said at lunch?" Lissa's overreaction to being woken up early was suddenly explainable now – those damn hormones that were fabled in the pregnancy tale.

"Sorry, Lissa. I didn't mean to wake you up," I said. I tapped into the bond, and for the first time in a long time, felt Lissa's emotions rushing towards me. She was surprised that I made the jump to her being upset because she was woken up earlier than she had planned, but what she said next I could easily see was a façade.

"It's about time you apologized for something wrong you did." I still hadn't been able to get her forgiveness about the whole deal with keeping my real relationship with Dimitri a secret from her.

"Lissa, you can-"

"No, no, I'm awake now, Christian. You can take a shower first, though, because you have a job you have to go get paid at." Lissa sniffed and looked up at me. I was going to get tired from the mood swings really quickly. "I hate not having a job and having to make Christian bring home all of the income. Come April we're going to have a shared bank account and I won't have anything to contribute except all the money I got from parents when they died!" Lissa sniffed again.

"I'll go stand post at the bathroom. Excuse me girls," Eddie said, heading down the hallway a little bit to stand outside one of the doors the bathroom had. Lissa pulled me into her and Christian's bedroom.

I always liked Lissa and Christian's room; it had a light, beach feel that I'm surprised Christian agreed to allow. Three of the walls were painted this sandy beige color, and the wall the bed's headboard rested against was a light blue that mixed well with the other colors. There were shells and little pieces of coral Lissa had collected during the time we lived in California briefly when we were on the run from the guardians from St. Vladimir's that were bent (and being paid for, as Dimitri later told me) on finding us and bringing us back to Kirova and her locked, monitored, iron, Gothic gates that surrounded a hell-hole of a home for me. (It was the only home I remembered since my mom dropped me off and said "See you later!" when I was really young.)

The bedspread was light blue, and the pillows were light blue and white. Most of the furniture in the room was white, and the nightstands had legs that were painted a light blue.

I was beginning to notice that when Lissa designed something, whether it was a room or house or greeting card, it wasn't based around a color scheme – it was based around an idea, like the beach, or Tuscany, a place she had always wanted to visit.

That was why I found that her wedding had a purple theme, I found it odd it was a color and not an idea. I was scared for what she would do for her children's birthday parties.

Lissa sat on the bed and picked at the light blue comforter.

"Sorry that I didn't notice the pregnancy, but, I've-"

"Got issues and stress, yeah, Rose, I get it. Hormones are a real bitch sometimes," Lissa said. She looked up at me.

"Am I going to get used to these mood swings of yours?" I asked, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Apparently they're supposed to get worse. Well, according to the doctor, that is," Lissa added, taking my hand and squeezing it.

"Well, I have no way of knowing these things, Liss, because I have, like, no chance of getting pregnant in my life unless Adrian and I get really drunk at the same party, so don't count on me for guidance," I admitted.

"I just need your help getting though this, okay?" Lissa asked, putting her head on my shoulder.

"Okay," I agreed. Christian come out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist.

"That's way more of you than I ever cared to see in my entire life at any time of the day," I said, turning my head away from Christian.

"Good to know. Give me two minutes," Christian said. Lissa turned and looked at the window opposite where Christian was standing.

"Oh that's a pretty bird, isn't it Rose?" Lissa said, watching as a mockingbird landed on the bird feeder Lissa had put up when she and Christian first moved in. I nodded against her head.

"It is," I said, and there was another bird that landed on the feeder opposite the first bird. They ate a little and then flew away.

"Alright, leaving now," Christian said, opening the door.

"Love you," Lissa said in a silly voice, still leaning against my shoulder.

"Love you, too," Christian said, kissed her on the forehead, and then left, shutting the door behind him.

"Alright, shower time. Up, Lissa," I said, pushing her up. "I'll be right here."

Lissa had the door half opened when she looked back at me. "You rock, Rose, you know that?"

"Yes, yes I do. Now in. You smell like Christian and puke and sweat, all three of which disgust me at the moment." I flopped back on the bed and felt Lissa puke as I heard the noises coming from the bathroom.

"Great, just great. This day can't get any better, can it?" I asked aloud to no one. When nobody answered, I just sighed and sat up.

When Lissa came out of the bathroom, I had decided that I needed to talk to Fya somehow. Fya would always tell me stories of her and Dimitri's shared childhood on her days off - she was so nonchalant about it, I didn't feel jealous that she had spent years with him before he even thought about coming to America. If anything, I craved those stories; it was a secret lust, since if I came out and told her directly that I loved the stories, I would look...

Well, I wasn't sure what I would look like, but I knew it wasn't the way I wanted to come across as - cool, sophisticated, and in control.

"You okay?" Lissa asked, shaking my shoulder lightly.

"Yeah," I said, smiling at her. "Do you have any plans today?" Hesitant questioning flowed through the bond, something I realized I had been ignoring with all of my other issues.

"A meeting with the Winter Ball Committee at ten," Lissa said, regarding me carefully. The Royal Court held a "Winter Ball" every year around Christmas. And really, it was just that - a Christmas Ball, but Tatiana changed the name to stay "politically correct" since there were a handful of humans that acted as informants for the Queen that came. They were sworn to secrecy and kept an eye out on the amount of mysterious deaths that were happening. Except, only the Moroi world and those humans knew who was causing the mystery in the deaths.

"When will it be over?" I asked, hope filling up inside me.

"Eleven the latest. They don't last very long. Until the Ball is really close," Lissa added, folding her arms across her chest. "What do you want, Rose?"

"Do you want to do a lunch?" I asked, shutting my eyes and barely opening one of them to look at Lissa's reaction.

"Sure," Lissa said, her arms dropping to her sides. She shrugged. "Doesn't Sofya get off at noon?"

"Fya gets off at eleven, though she'll just have to be on alert a little bit. Like me," I quickly added. Only I called Sofya "Fya", a nickname I had come up with one night when Fya came over dinner on her night off and we got drunk enough so that I came up with it and she allowed it.

"I guess that'll be fine. You're going to take off when your shift ends, right?" Lissa asked, turning to walk to her closet.

"Probably," I shrugged. I knew she couldn't see me, but I shrugged anyway. "Eddie said he would take over as your guardian tonight. I'll be back tomorrow morning, Fya at eleven. Obviously." Fya got every other Friday off, starting at eleven in the morning.

"Hmm," Lissa said. Her voice was muffled from standing in the closet. "Speaking of Eddie, what did he say to set you off?"

"Do we have to talk about this?" I asked, my upper body flopping back down on the bed.

"I'm serious. I want to know what set you off." Lissa's voice grew louder as she moved to the front of the closet. I had been inside it before - too many times for my liking - and it was probably the biggest walk-in closet I had ever seen. I could stand fingertip to fingertip with Lissa and we wouldn't touch the clothes on both walls. And that was just the width of the closet.

"He was saying crap about Dimitri," I said, trying to pass as nonchalant.

"And things are bad enough between you and Dimitri as it is, am I correct?" Lissa asked, an edge to her voice.

"Yeah," I said, staring at the ceiling, wishing I could escape in the paradise that was my iPod. Lissa had gotten it for me as a graduation present. Some nights when Dimitri was completely consumed with whatever he was working on - he would never let me look at what he was doing, and he had even gone to enough lengths to create seperate users for him and me to keep me from looking at what he was keeping from me - I would watch TV shows on my iPod. For some reason I couldn't grasp, Saving Grace was my most played TV show. According to my iTunes, that is.

"What do you think?" Lissa asked. She stood in front of the bathroom door, posing like a model. A frilly, purple shirt barely accented the tiny bump that I could now see (how could I have missed it?), but it was enough to show it off in an "I'm-excited-to-be-pregnant" kind of way. I didn't know how I came up with that description, but it came to mind. Her dark jeans hugged her legs nicely, and purple, black, and sliver flats shaped against her feet like a second skin. A black and silver headband was thrown into her hair; it looked haphazardly thrown in and yet it didn't at the same time. Her silver watch, a present Christian had gotten for her out of the blue a few years back, rested on her right wrist, while two silver bangles rested on her left.

Her appearance pulled me from my thoughts, and suddenly I was sure I had green in my eyes. Only when I was off duty did I ever to get to where what I wanted, and nobody but Dimitri and me saw those clothes. The family members that would visit, too, but I hadn't worn regular clothes in front of Lissa or Christian or Eddie or anybody since college.

"You look great," I choked out. Lissa twirled around.

"You think so?"

I nodded. "Fabulous."

"Well, we should probably get going. The meeting is in the Banquet Hall, which is a good half a mile away, and it's already nine." Lissa looked at her watch again. "You didn't tell me I was in the shower for an hour!"

"Sorry," I said, and then lower, "You kind of needed an hour."

"What?" Lissa half-demanded.

"Nothing," I said. Lissa raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. She went into the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and then came back out. She grabbed her purse by the door.

"Let's go," Lissa said, her mood swinging back down.

"Levitsky, we're moving," I radioed. It was a radio system every guardian in the Court could hear, so I had to call her by last name. For the most part, I tuned it out. Only when somebody radioed me or vice versa did the volume go up. It was a voice recognition device that was specifically programmed for each individual guardian.

"Trailing, Hathaway," Fya replied, and I could imagine what it would be like if my mother worked at the Court. I heard that everyone wanted her opinion, so I had a feeling that I would be getting confused a lot if she were on the same radio system.

"Front door," I announced, and Fya let me know that she was right behind us. The volume went back down, and I faintly heard someone radio for Dimitri. I didn't bother manually turning up the volume (something you could do if you felt like spying on the other guardians' doings), and I just followed Lissa out the door.

"Two seconds," I told Lissa and she smiled.

"Three."

Two seconds later, we heard a door close and we looked back. Fya was locking the door.

"Told you," I said, turning around to the front and continuing to walk. Lissa and I would bet when Fya would come in or out of the door behind us.

"Shut up and keep walking," Lissa said. Her tone wasn't entirely playful. "We're going to be late."

And on we walked to the Banquet Hall.

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**Review!**

**I was going through my reviews folder in my email today to seperate the IIWAPW and TWBAR reviews, and came across the really old reviews - the reviews from when I first started writing IIWAPW. I was shocked to see that I would have 33 reviews or crazy numbers like that for reviews. (In GMail, it tells you how many are in the conversation since they come under the same sender and get bunched together, so I could see.) It was pretty cool. I guess that's why IIWAPW has so many reviews. So thanks to all of you who reviewed on the other story! Cookies for people who review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm such a nerd. xD I read Vampire Academy FanFiction to get enough steam to write another chapter of my own FanFiction. I'm so weird, it's not even funny.**

**Speaking of which, if you're looking for a good VA FanFic to keep you occupied for a little while, Betrayed By Love, written by Imagination Goddess, is a good pick. I just finished what has been put up (it's not finished yet) and I love it.**

**On with my story.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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I didn't get Lissa's fascination with this Greek place that was on the Court grounds, and I didn't think I ever would understand her liking it. All I knew was that I could barely have any choice on what I could eat when she dragged me along, because everything had feta cheese on it. On my first bite, I was repulsed by the crumbly cheese. It just tasted weird and the aftertaste, I had learned that night, was a bitch to get rid of later on.

So I subtlety grilled Fya on Dimitri over my nice big stacking heap of chicken fingers. The people working the restaurant - mostly Moroi - knew Fya, Lissa, and I well enough that they only cared to give us a menu when Lissa felt like splurging on dessert, and only had to see us to put our order in, every little detail memorized. Which meant along with my very nutritious diet of macaroni-and-cheese and Diet Coke, I also had chicken fingers and Diet Coke to add to it. I couldn't remember the last time I drank something other than Diet Coke.

"How did the meeting go?" Fya asked Lissa, her Russian accent still strong but hidden at the same time. Fya knew I could understand it, but Lissa wasn't around Dimitri every day, so Fya kept her accent the way she did so Lissa could understand what she saying.

"It was fine," Lissa said, setting her glass down. Peter, our waiter, came by and refilled it with more water. "It was filled with a lot of the same bull the Royals feel necessary to throw around all day every day."

"Did you actually get something done this time?" Fya asked politely. She had come along on our graduation trip to the Bahamas, and since I had hung out with her a good deal of the time, I knew Fya really well. It was times like right now that I had to stop myself from snorting when I heard the hidden emotions in her voice. This time it was sarcasm.

Lissa nodded, though not that enthusiastically. "We finally settled on a theme."

"Which would be?" Fya cut some more veal up. I was considering switching to being a vegetarian.

I just sat there eating my chicken fingers (hey, call it like it is) watching the exchange.

"White Wonderland," Lissa said simply. I snorted and thought of a bunch of snarky comments Christian would throw out had he been there and Lissa not within earshot. Lissa shot a look at me. I held up my hands.

"A little ironic, don't you think?" I shrugged with my hands still the air. "We're about to become the next Siberia at this point." I ignored the lump that formed in my throat and I swallowed it back down with a bite of chicken.

"At least we agreed on it," Lissa replied cooly. I flinched on the inside. I was going to have to watch my mouth from now on with the mood swings and sensitive feelings raging inside Lissa.

"Do you think everything will be ready in time?" Fya asked, playing mediator again.

"I think so." Lissa shrugged. "I've been put in charge of invitations, so I have a list of names and it's up to me to figure out what and how the invitations look like and get distributed."

"You should do a snowflake," Fya suggested, getting excited. I slumped in my chair slightly and looked around the restaurant, tuning them out.

The restaurant definitely had a Mediterranean feel to it. The walls were painted a slightly off-white and the tables and chairs were made out of wood. There were pictures of Greece hung up on the walls. It was strange; it felt warm and sea coast inside and then you stepped outside and it was like a slap in the face. A reminder that winter was here and you were in the mountains of Pennsylvania and not on the coast of some Greek island, the latter of which I would rather happily be sitting in.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Lissa muttered, and the scraping of her chair broke me out of my daydream wishes.

"Are you okay, Rose?" Fya asked, looking at me carefully. She had quickly learned that only Dimitri could call me "Roza" and get a positive reaction out of it.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, and finished off my chicken fingers as I felt Lissa's knees hit the cool tile floor in front of the toilet, the entire lunch suddenly having been eaten in vain.

"Dimitri doesn't like liars," Fya said weirdly.

"I don't know what Dimitri likes anymore," I said, my voice angry and quiet.

"I knew something was wrong," Fya said. I could've sworn she was about to jump out of her chair and shout "Eureka!" at the top of her lungs.

"Fine," I admitted, "I assume you know the rumors and gossip about our 'abusive relationship', correct?" I mimed air quotes with my fingers in the air. I wasn't sure if that was the appropriate title.

"When did he start acting like this?" Fya asked, her wine glass paused halfway to her mouth.

"Around the time everyone got settled in here." I shrugged half-heartedly. Maybe there was something I was missing. And I was right; I knew from what came out of Fya's lips next.

"Did anything bad happen while you and Lissa were at Lehigh?" Fya questioned.

"Not that I know of," I whispered, suddenly scared.

"That has happened before," Fya said, putting her wine glass back down. She didn't drink out of it.

"What?" I asked. She was about to tell me another childhood story of Dimitri's, I just knew it.

"You know how Dimitri beat up his father when he was thirteen, right?" I nodded. "He had a girlfriend, by teenager standards, at the time. Stasha Sedova. Stasha was fourteen at the time, and, again, by teenager standards, their relationship was what you would call perfect. When the incident with his father occured, he shut down. He didn't talk to anybody, he kept to himself at school, he always had his nose in some American or British novel, he basically shut the world out. He started acting really cold and heartless, by the standards of his age, towards Stasha, and she freaked out, thinking it was something she did.

"He didn't beat her or anything; it was more vindictive. For some reason that still escapes me, he started spreading rumors and saying nasty things about her. Her mother's family is Royal, and she was sent out to Russia to live with her grandmother while her mother was in the hospital after nearly dying giving birth to one of Stasha's sisters. For somebody looking for revenge, that was perfect material. He took his anger and stress about the incident with Ivan out that way.

"Of course, she dropped him like a hot potato, and he never had a girlfriend after that. At least, until you came along. While the women in his family were always good to him since he was the only male around full-time, he was the kind of kid who would connect with his female teacher really well because she was a woman outside his family. He needed friends of the opposite gender, and after the Stasha incident, every girl would avoid him like he was the Bubonic Plague because Stasha ruined reputation. He had been quite the charmer and no doubt would have continued to be one had Ivan not set him off like Ivan always does," Fya finished.

I sat back in my chair. Fya had given me a lot to think about.

"Ivan was his dad," I guessed randomly and Fya nodded.

"Ivan Ozera. Second cousin, I believe, of Tasha Ozera," Fya said, drinking her wine until the glass was drained.

Dimitri was related to Christian. Which meant, should the occasion ever happen, if I were to marry Dimitri, I would be related by marriage to Christian. I shuddered. As much as Christian and I were Christian and I, I seriously was repulsed by the idea of even remotely being related to him.

On the flip side, through two marriages, I would be related to Lissa. And we literally would be one big happy family.

Lissa came back, and my head hurt with trying to process everything.

"I already paid the check," Lissa said, barely glancing at me.

"Well, let us brave the white stuff falling from the snow and get back to the apartment," Fya said, standing up and stretching like the conversation we just had never happened.

"Let's," Lissa agreed, and shrugged her silver and black coat on.

We trudged through the snow (we had boots on over our regular shoes) back to Lissa's place, when I felt somebody's breath on the back of my neck.

"Well, little dhampir, you look rather dashing with snow in your hair," Adrian whispered in my ear, and if I weren't taken, I would probably have giggled from the seductiveness in his tone. Instead, I opted for incredulous sarcasm.

"Would you please not stand so damn close to me?" I hissed, my headache ebbing and flowing with every step I took. I looked around and saw Dimitri and Adrian's other guardian, Andrew, walking not too far behind us. Lissa caught Adrian's eye despite the snow and he winked at her in a friendly manner.

"Someone is feisty today," Adrian noted, rubbing his bare hands together for some warmth.

"Someone's irritable," I muttered. "And she's not too happy about someone else making judgments about her," I added, hoping he'd get the message.

"Sorry little dhampir, but I'm allowed to make as many comments today as I want." That cocky grin was plastered on his face. Dimitri moved to walk next to me. I didn't know what to make of his silence.

"Would you fuck off already?" I asked, suddenly feeling weird next to Dimitri. Too many twists were suddenly happening and I needed to have a good hour or two to think about everything that had been going on and what Fya had just told me.

Adrian mimicked me. "No, I won't. Not unless Christian is..."

I didn't hear any more of what Adrian said because I was suddenly on the ground, puking my guts out. Somebody shrieked, and I could feel Dimitri's hands calmly pulling my hair away from my face.

The sudden sickness scared me as I kneeled there, my head pounding and my mouth and throat burning. I wasn't pregnant like Lissa and she felt fine through the bond - shock and fright were flowing steadily through it now - and I hadn't eaten anything weird lately. There weren't any Strigoi around; I could tell by feeling now. This was gross nauseous; my Strigoi alarms had a sense of dread to them. For now, as I finished showing everyone my lunch, I would blame it on my still present shock of Dimitri and Christian being related. Dimitri had mentioned a couple of times that his father was Royal, but it had to be the Ozera family.

I sat back, my eyes closed, my stomach clenching in protest that there was nothing left.

"Roza?" Dimitri whispered in my ear, and I felt like crying. He hadn't called me that in a long time. Tears were building up behind my eyelids as I answered him.

"I don't feel so good," I whispered, and I felt like a five-year-old complaining to her mother that her tummy hurt.

"I'm not surprised," Dimitri murmured, and one of his hands disappeared from my head. "You were bringing up blood at the end."

I groaned. The smell was also starting to get to me.

"Eat this," Dimitri said, and I opened my eyes to see his bare hand cupped with melting snow in it. I drank the melting snow from his hand, swished it around my mouth, and spit it back out near the vomit. I ate another handful, my own this time, and I swallowed.

He helped me up. "I'm taking you back to the apartment," he announced softly.

"But I can't and Sofya and-" I started rambling but Dimitri put a finger over my lips.

"It isn't the end of the world for Sofya, and you need to rest," Dimitri said quietly, just about reading my mind. "I'll let the Queen know what happened."

"Fine," I muttered unhappily, and allowed Dimitri to take me back to our shoe box of an apartment.

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**Dimitri still cares about Rose and her well being, so this is a sweet moment, despite what Rose found out about his father.**

**I have free creative license to Dimitri's dad and that whole aspect, so hey, if I want to make him half-Ozera, Dimitri will have Ozera blood in him. That and I didn't feel like coming up with yet another name. It'll be explained later on how despite Ozera being a Romanian surname, Dimitri still has all Russian blood and family roots.**

**Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I hope the angst and frustration get across in this chapter, since I'm ticked off at my mom for showing off our new vacuum cleaner, my brother and his friend for being louder than a rock concert, my phone's screen being cracked on the inside, and Facebook for being slow and un-workable at the moment. But everything is fine at the moment.**

**I'm starting a thing where I put a song or two down that would fit this chapter near perfectly. I've seen it done before and I hope my music library is big enough that I can do it. The chapter titles will be the song titles. (I'll go back and edit the first four chapter titles eventually.)**

**It's just a tad shorter, but it says enough.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

The sun was just about done setting when I woke up. I knew that because the bed faces west and the sun was just dipping below the horizon.

My head pounding and my mouth feeling disgusting, I tenderly got out of bed. I meandered over to the door, and did a sudden left into the bathroom, where brushing my teeth never felt so refreshing. I didn't hear any noise in the living room, but I knew Dimitri's shift was well over. Not dwelling too much on that fact, I went back into the bedroom and changed into much comfier, roomier clothes. A sweatshirt and fleece pajama bottoms, to be exact. I slipped my feet into slippers I found in the closet that I didn't know I had and went out into the living room, wishing there was something warm I could drink.

I saw Dimitri on the couch, wicker coffee table pulled up to his knees, black MacBook sitting open on the table. Grumbling on the inside about how repetitive this was getting, I sat down next to him. I couldn't so much as blink before he had several applications minimized onto his tiny dock. (I had asked about it, being a Windows person, and it was apparently the thing that held all of the applications without crowding up the desktop space. Internet browser and word processor, things like that.)

"You're up," Dimitri said without much emotion as he scrolled through a web page. Upon further inspection, it was his Facebook page, something that was losing steam on the World Wide Web despite its recent popularity a few years back.

I leaned against his arm and nodded, my hair getting messed up by the friction between it and his shirt. He twisted his head to kiss the top of my head, and then looked back at whatever message he was sending whoever he was talking to.

"Feeling better?" He asked, and I leaned away so he could type. Somebody back in Russia, since he had his usual transliteration page up, something he found so he could still type in his native Russian but with an English keyboard.

"Not really," I admitted, my arms wrapped around my stomach. Dimitri copied the Cyrillic text and looked at me, worry etched in his tired face.

"What's wrong?" There was concern in his voice.

"Not sure," I said quietly, looking up at Dimitri. "I think I have some kind of bug, which wouldn't make any sense considering my immune system is supposed to be kickass awesome."

"Huh," Dimitri said. "Anything your guilty conscience is trying to tell me?" His voice was teasing, and I could tell he was trying to hide the seriousness from me. Like he was worried that I might be keeping something from him.

I shook my head. "Who are you talking to?" Change of topic was always good.

"Talya," Dimitri said after a second, seeming to falter my smooth subject change. "She says she's coming Tuesday. I thought you meant an actual week from now when you told me this morning," he said, an angry edge to his voice. I subtly looked around. Only one half-finished drink that was a mysterious pink. I didn't know that is was possible to make a drink the color pink.

"I was going to tell you." My voice was barely a whisper. I had a feeling that this was going to turn into shouting, so I was trying to keep a quiet voice for as long as possible.

"When? Monday night? 'Oh, Dimitri, by the way, Natalya's coming tomorrow'?" Dimitri tried to mimic my voice. There must be other empty glasses in the sink.

"No!" I said a little louder, and was about to continue, but Dimitri cut me off.

"Monday morning, then," Dimitri judged. My gut got that Dimitri's-testing-me-for-some-reason feeling I got when arguments like this popped up.

"Tonight." My voice was even. "But due to today's circumstances, it turned out differently." It was hard not to get upset at the current situation.

"How long have you known about this?" Dimitri asked tiredly, like he was a parent reprimanding his teenager about continually sneaking out. Which, had this been eight years ago, his tone would be totally appropriate since I was still a student and he a guardian finished with school.

"Long enough," I muttered.

"Why can't you tell me about these things sooner?" Dimitri asked, his voice trailing off at the end as I sucked in air to talk.

"Because you always freak out!" I cried.

Dimitri just raised in eyebrow in response, and I fought the urge to groan at his talent. I jumped up and started pretty much yelling at him, my hands and arms flying as words spilled out of my mouth.

"You always start venting and ranting about how people are always intruding and-and they never give you enough time in advance to get things ready! And then you storm off and if we're here at home, it's to the kitchen to make up God knows what drink! Everything doesn't have to be met with walls and frustration, you know!" My stomach hurt, and I wrapped my arms tighter around it. I tried to get control of my breathing as I tried to make my mouth wet with saliva that seemed to have disappeared on me.

"Not everything is met with walls," Dimitri countered, his voice low and dark. He stared at me, his face stoic. I shifted feet.

"Well, you stress out about pretty much everything," I told him, my voice at a reasonable level. Dimitri stood up and closed the space between us in one swift motion, but there was nothing romantic about the whole process.

"I have my reasons about the way I am." I noticed one of his hands clench up into a fist at his side and then relax back into his normal hand.

"Oh yeah? Is Adrian spreading his thoughts on how to live life? Trying to woo his guardians' girlfriends and drink twenty-four seven? Is that his new religion he intends on having people follow?" I knew it wasn't good for me to become sarcastic in the heat of the moment because who knew what would spill out of my mouth, but I couldn't help it. It was almost written into my DNA to put up my sarcastic barrier.

"For your information, Rose, it has very little to do with Adrian." Dimitri looked like he was about to punch a wall. I had to choke back a laugh at how I just realized it was like Dimitri and I had switched roles. He was the rebellious student with a temper and I was the teacher that he was butting heads with. It reminded me of the fights I had with my teachers years ago.

"Then why don't you tell me what's bothering you so I can be enlightened? I am your girlfriend after all. Unless that changed, too," I added. I was dancing with danger now and my odds of coming out alive were thinning.

"I can't," Dimitri growled, going to stand in front of the couch so there was space between us. He pinched the bridge of his nose, another habit that had been picked up when the nightly drinking started occurring.

"Why not?" I argued. My arms were still wrapped tight around my stomach, and the nauseous feeling was starting to flare up again.

"Why don't you go take some Tylenol or something? You're starting to pale a little bit." Dimitri sat down and tapped a few buttons. From what I could tell, he was pasting the message to Natalya into the Facebook page.

"Why are you changing the subject?" I was definitely on the defensive side now.

"Because it's not my place to go!" Dimitri snapped. He took a long drink of the pink liquid.

"Nothing is your place to go anymore," I muttered.

"What?" Dimitri took a sidelong glance at me, and if it were a TV show or book, I could almost say that he looked possessed. But nobody could get possessed, and the look was quick enough that it wouldn't forever be imprinted in my head. Still, I shuddered.

"Nothing is ever like it was," I said icily, changing the ending. The roles switched - suddenly I was the student again, and Dimitri was the teacher I was secretly planning on bitching about later.

"And how would that be?" Dimitri asked, his tone matching mine.

"Do I seriously need to recount this entire fight?" I retorted.

Dimitri just looked at me. It was a mix of a glare, longing, love, anger, and something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Maybe the longing wasn't the longing I was thinking of?

"What? Don't have anything to say to that?" I said, my voice playing instigator. Something inside my head was telling me that it wasn't a good idea to keep pushing him, that it was better to go take the Tylenol, crawl back into bed, and try to forget tonight.

"I'm sorry if my silence offends you!" Dimitri yelled. The volume level was definitely louder than I had expected, and I tried not to falter.

"If anything, I'd prefer it!" I shouted right back, not missing a beat.

"Why do you have to make everything so complicated?" Dimitri had stood up again. It was like he couldn't make up his mind about sitting and yelling or standing and yelling.

"Why do I? Why do you?" I threw back at him.

"I make things complicated," Dimitri roared, making it sound more of a statement than a question. I resisted the urge to shrug and say, "Yeah, you do."

"Why do you bother living with me if I apparently make things 'complicated' and you don't?" Dimitri was full-on glaring at me now. Only a couple of fights before had gone this far.

"Because I love you!" I shrieked. "But, honestly, I'm starting to wonder."

"About what?" Dimitri crossed his arms, and my arms fell to my sides.

"If you return those feelings!" And right after I finished my yelling, I turned on my hell, stomped into the bedroom like a five-year-old, and slammed the door behind me, promptly turning into a crying mess on the bed.

When I was about to turn off the light, I looked at the picture of Dimitri and I that Lissa took when we graduated college several years ago. I was leaning into him, our arms around each other, and we were both smiling and looking at the camera like nothing bad could ever happen to us, my graduation robe blowing in the wind. I turned it down to face the painted wood of the bedside table and shut the light off angrily, falling asleep into a dreamless sleep. Adrian didn't even bother me.

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**I got good feedback on the last chapter. Glad my insane midnight ideas worked out somehow. This time, they're 9.30 PM insane ideas.**

**Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Y'all are pretty worried about Dimitri. (Sorry, it's how they say "You all" around here, and it just fit perfectly to say it.) No worries, like I've told a couple of people:**

**This is Rose and Dimitri, people. It'll work out in the end. The road getting there may be extremely bumpy, but it'll be a happy ending. As much as I say I love crappy endings and seeing the villain win, I can't stand them. So a happy ending is on the horizon. The horizon is just very far away at this point. As I tell my mom, "The mess needs to worsen before it gets better." A clean room and happy relationship between Rose and Dimitri are comparable.**

**But, enough ranting-while-explaining. You're lucky it's raining and my muses are being nice to me lately. Hence why I'm putting this chapter up now.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

When I woke up around two in the morning, I was still alone in the bed. The only indication that Dimitri was still here was the shower running in the bathroom. With thin walls, you could hear anybody anywhere else in the Shoe Box, as I had begun to think of it.

After a few minutes, the water shut off. I just stared at the ceiling, my eyes still sore and tired from the crying I had done several hours ago. I turned the light on for some comfort.

The fight didn't make much sense. In a way, both of us had started it. Dimitri had made a comment about my lack of explanation and I looked too deep into what he had said. The easy way would be to blame it on stress and go on with my life, but that wasn't good enough a reason for me. There was something more here than stress. Well, that and keeping secrets from each other. I knew Dimitri was hiding something. The longing I saw earlier wasn't lust-filled; it was like he wanted to tell me something so badly it hurt him not to, but somebody or something was keeping him from talking.

Still, there was more. It might be tied into the secret Dimitri was keeping, but I wasn't positive on that one. I could be called a hypocrite, though, since I was keeping something from Dimitri as well - the fact that Tatiana was going to name Lissa as her heir to the throne. Which meant, by marriage, Christian would become King. Oh how I felt sorry for him, getting roped into Kingship without ever wanting it in the first place.

The door opened and it broke me out of my thoughts. It was dark behind Dimitri, which meant that the lights were off, and it was still slightly warm. He had only turned the heat off a few minutes ago. His hair was wet. I don't think he knew what a hair dryer was.

"Hey," Dimitri said softly, and I could barely make out that he held something in his hands. I sat up, pulling the blankets up to keep them around my shoulders. I still felt cold and my body ached like I had gotten hit by a truck. The latter could also have been from the crying, though. It took a lot of energy to cry for a solid hour.

"Back at you," I whispered. It was definitely awkward. I got the sense Dimitri had expected me to be asleep.

"How are you feeling?" Dimitri asked, tenderness in his voice.

"Like I got hit by a truck filled with ice and I was buried in the ice for a while," I admitted, my voice still quiet. Dimitri sat on my edge of the bed. He set a glass of water and two white pills on the table in front of the picture that I had turned face down earlier. He put something to the side of him where it was dark and I couldn't see very well.

"I thought you still might want that Tylenol." He kept his face emotionless. I had found that was his easiest face to wear when he was about to say something that he found difficult to tell me.

"What?" I asked, reaching for the medicine. We kept it around in case one of pulled a muscle or had a headache, the latter happening quite often.

"I still love you," Dimitri said, watching my hands, my mouth, my forehead, the wall behind me, anything besides my eyes. "I hope you know that."

"I would know it if you looked me in the eyes when you said it," I said, a bit more harshly than I had intended.

Dimitri seemed to give up an internal struggle and looked me straight in the eyes. "I still love you, Rose."

I nodded and set the glass down, the temperature from the water too cold for me to handle.

"I think that lately, life has been rushing by and we've taken each other for granted," Dimitri said slowly, like he'd been thinking about it since I stormed out of the living room earlier.

"Go on," I murmured.

"Tonight, after you...left, I realized that one of my issues was that ever since you and Lissa got out of Lehigh, and even a little after you got out of St. Vladimir's, you were in the real world and despite being at the Royal Court where no Strigoi would ever attack, I was afraid of losing you somehow." Dimitri studied my face, and I bit my lower lip. My hunch on his being afraid of losing me was correct.

"There's more to the story," I said finally.

"There is, and I wish I could tell you, I really do. It's just..." Dimitri trailed off at the end, that same longing from earlier ago in his eyes again.

"Why can't you tell me, dammit?" I demanded, my voice cracking at the end.

"The Queen has me sworn to secrecy on it, okay? Anything else you want from me? Anything else I can do to fulfill Princess Rose's wishes?" I knew Dimitri only added the last part because he was frustrated and tired of the running in circles, no matter how much he was leading the whole thing.

I stared at him, hoping my face was expressionless. Dimitri's was contorted by rage, sarcasm, and sadness.

Tatiana had him sworn to secrecy on something, as well.

"Is it about me?" I asked carefully.

"Partially. The Queen seems to think you'll be...ready soon enough," Dimitri said, groping for the right words.

"I'm okay with that," I said calmly, staring down at the white bedsheets. I saw Dimitri pick up what he was hiding, walk around the bed, sit down next to me, and open something up, all done in my peripheral vision.

"It can wait, and I know I can barely give you anything else, but in case we do end up apart one day..." Dimitri said quietly. I could have sworn that his mood swings rivaled Lissa's. Or any pregnant woman's, for that matter.

"Roza, please look up," Dimitri murmured in my ear, and I looked up enough to see a tiny, green velvet box holding the most beautiful and expensive-looking diamond ring I had ever seen in my entire life. There wasn't much competition, however, since I hadn't seen many rings like it.

I gaped. It was clearly the most surprising thing that had ever happened to me that came out of nowhere.

"It's beautiful," I managed to choke out after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm glad you think so," Dimitri said, and began to take it out of the box. I dropped the blankets and put my freezing hands over his really warm hands.

"There are a few things we need to agree on before I put that ring on," I said defiantly. Without waiting for anything from Dimitri, I looked up at him and pressed on.

"There can't be any secrets between us, except for the one you're holding right now, and only because the Queen swore you to secrecy on it," I started. I knew I'd have to tell him about Tatiana's plans if he agreed to this, but it's not like the Queen had our room bugged or anything.

"We need to help each other deal with our stress. Less drinking, less fighting, and more time together. Which means there'll be less time spent on the computer. You're getting addicted to that thing," I added, trying to make a joke out of it.

"Rose-" Dimitri began, but I cut him off without letting him speak a word more.

"And we're going to have a long talk soon. A very long talk. We need to work things out and try to get our relationship closer to where it was when I was in college," I finished, still looking at Dimitri. "Do you agree with that?"

Dimitri nodded. "Can I make you my fiancee now?" He teased, taking the ring out of the box, and letting the box drop to the bed. I stuck out my left hand.

"Fine," I said. I watched as he slid the ring onto my finger. "I guess this gives me the title of 'Future Mrs. Belikov' doesn't it?"

"Damn right it does," Dimitri growled huskily, and playfully grabbed my torso, pulling my body on top of his. He kissed me hungrily, and I met him, kiss-for-kiss, just as eagerly. Somehow, I managed to not break contact and still move to straddle him and straighten up. I pressed against him and a hand snaked up into my hair. His other arm tightened its death grip around my waist. When we both pulled up for air, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I love you," I murmured, my breathing heavy and labored.

"I love you, too, future wife of mine." Dimitri had an even harder time of breathing than I did. His words sent a chill up my spine, and it had nothing to do with my strange illness.

I eased myself down to Dimitri's outstretched legs and rested my head on his chest. It still amazed me that after everything we had been through, I still loved Dimitri so much that it hurt me and felt like I could barely have enough room in my entire body to love him anymore than I already did.

Dimitri murmured something and began running his fingers through my hair.

"What'd you say?" I asked, my breathing still not totally normal. I looked up at him.

"Â ne hoču, čtoby ostanovit´ lûbit´ tebâ." Dimitri looked down at me, love filled in his expression. "It translates into something along the lines of 'I never want to stop loving you.' It was more of a musing that I said aloud by accident than anything, really."

"But it's true, right?" I felt young again, like I was still a student back at St. Vlad's and any conversation like this was dangerous.

"It's more true than the fact that you wear the ring that I bought for you," Dimitri said. I pulled myself back up to his face and kissed him gently.

"Good to know," I murmured. I would never admit it, but I always thought that whenever Dimitri spoke in his native language, cursing or otherwise, it sounded prettier than English.

"Do you like it?" Dimitri asked, nuzzling my neck and successfully rendering me speechless.

"I love it," I whispered. It was hard to make my voice any louder than that. I ignored my stomach's protests and pressed myself against Dimitri even harder this time. I was glad the bed's headboard was tall enough to let Dimitri rest his entire back against it.

"We should probably get some sleep, Roza," Dimitri whispered in my ear, his Russian accent suddenly thick and strong.

"Who needs sleep?" I countered, sounding like a lovestruck teenager. A hand grabbed my hip teasingly and the other rested at the small of my back, sending another round of shivers up my spine. He really needed to stop doing that.

"Normal people do," Dimitri said. It was oh so obvious that he was flirting with me and enjoying a great show out of it.

"We're not normal," I said, breaking off at the end when the hand on my hip started roaming other places.

"Are you sure about that?" Dimitri asked softly, looking at me, his accent still very evident. I could barely read the expression in his face - my mind was elsewhere.

"Positive," I gulped. I shoved my lips onto his to shut him up for a little while so I could try to bring my head back down to earth.

It was nearly four by the time I was able to look at the clock and comprehend the time blaring at me. I wasn't sure where two hours had gone, but I knew a hell of a lot happened during them.

"Are you warm enough?" Dimitri asked as I fell back onto the bed from looking at the clock behind him. An arm lazily draped itself across my hip. I kicked my sweatshirt off the foot of the bed and it fell to the floor.

"I'm fine," I said, completely telling the truth.

"You should try to sleep." Dimitri kissed my forehead.

I shook my head.

"You should. If you're not feeling well-"

"I'm fine, Dimitri," I said sternly. "And if you know I'm not feeling well, then why did you keep me up?"

"I think celebrating our engagement was an event that needed to be recognized."

I couldn't argue with that. Dimitri was the only person I had ever slept with, but it was hard to say that it ever got old or boring. Most of the time, I was living my sex life involuntairily through Lissa and the bond up until recently, because I could hardly stay awake long enough for it to ever happen.

My eyes fluttered closed and I could feel Dimitri pull me closer to him. I still considered myself lucky to have ever ended up with him.

He started humming what I could only assume was a lullaby, and the deep vibrations in his chest just made sleep all the more appealing. I was barely conscious when I heard Dimitri actually sing about half a verse. It was in Russian, and warm feelings swelled up inside me when it was obvious that he was a _good_ singer.

Dimitri really was a god, wasn't he?

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**I think Tatiana's a bit of a bitch, having caused issues between Rose and Dimitri. Anybody else agree with me?**

**And don't get too excited. This isn't that lovely horizon I was talking about. It's like a hallucination of the horizon. Because next chapter, among other things, we find out where Dimitri was exactly in the first chapter. And trust me, Rose is going to be pissed off like there's no tomorrow.**

**I'm putting up a one-shot, but it's not really a real FanFic. It's sort of like a playlist that's broken into chapters and my thoughts on how it relates to the chapter. It's a side project I'm going to start working on later today because it's 3.45 in the morning my time and I told my mom I wouldn't stay on until 4. It was meant to be a joke, but my subconscious took it literally. Ah well. I'll get up at 10 and throw my body for a loop. Anyway, it's going to be titled (what else?) "Playlist" and updated regularly. Watch for it.**

**Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**This is a little later than planned only because FF had some issues with not letting me log in. Sorry folks. So, what's written below this is what I would've written in my original A/N. LOVE YOU GUYS FOR WAITING SO PATIENTLY!**

**You really love good Rose and Dimitri time, don't you? -evil, secret smile-**

**"Playlist" is up. It's only chapter one right now, and as I think of more songs, I'll add them. If you have any suggestions, PM or review me. But, please, review through "Playlist", not one of my stories. Make the review relevant to the story.**

**It's short. Give me a break. The next chapter is long and I'm excited about it. Enjoy this honeymoon phase chapter while it lasts.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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I still couldn't believe it. Dimitri had gotten both of us the day off, and we were driving _away_ from the Court in a car Dimitri borrowed from the guardian's garage beneath the apartment complex. The selection of cars down there was bigger than several car rental places put together and then doubled.

And the excuse Dimitri used was pretty much the truth.

"I told the Queen that with the current state of affairs, your stress just got to be too much, and therefore you needed a day off."

"And how did you manage to wiggle out of today, Comrade?" I teased as he merged onto the highway. Picking up speed and drifting into the far left lane, Dimitri just smirked.

"I also said that it was like an incident that happened when you were at St. Vladimir's, and I knew ways to help you get better." He fiddled with the heat.

"So your plan to help me 'get better' as you put it is to drive me to the nearest town to do what?" I asked. The closest town of any sorts was about an hour and half away.

"You need to see something other than the Royal Court," Dimitri said simply. He grabbed my left hand, which was picking at the nails on my right hand. "Don't ruin them."

"I can always bite them," I said jokingly, and pretended to bite them. Dimitri glanced at me before turning back to the road.

"I'll have to take care of that, won't I?" Dimitri mused, and his fingers started playing with my ring.

My ring. I still got excited thinking about that.

Last night felt like a bit of a blur. And a little bipolar, too. One minute we were fighting and throwing accusations around and the next I was letting him put an engagement ring on my finger. I didn't think about the first part of the night too much; the second half was much nicer.

"Thank you," I told Dimitri after we lapsed back into the comfortable silence that only came along every once in a while.

He squeezed my hand in return. "You're welcome. I thought you could use some real time off."

Silence followed.

I noticed that I wasn't feeling that sick anymore. Only my stomach hurt a little bit and the getting-hit-by-a-truck feeling had evaporated. I felt pretty much normal.

Only, when Dimitri finally pulled off the highway into a different town than I had been expecting and started heading for the McDonald's, the stomach pains came back. I wasn't nauseous or anything. My stomach just hurt. I brushed it off as hunger pains, and I got out of the car and just stood in the parking lot, inhaling the scent into memory.

"You drove all this way just let me eat McDonalds? Isn't there one in a town that's closer to the Court?" I asked, eyeing Dimitri suspiciously.

Dimitri just shook his head and took my hand.

One Big Mac later, I sat in the cold booth licking the salt from the fingers off my fingers.

"There's more to this, isn't there?" I asked, wiping my hands on a napkin.

"Lissa was going to tell you today and let you borrow something, but-"

"Wait," I said, sitting up and stopping him from saying anything else. "It's not a ball or dinner or something, is it?"

"It's not," Dimitri laughed. "Adrian wants to try out the new nightclub that just opened in the Court, and he wants Lissa and Christian to come along. Which means you and Eddie are also invited."

"Oh," I said, and sat back again. Dimitri idly swirled his straw in his Coke, having opted to not use a lid.

"And Lissa was going to let you borrow something, but since we were going to be out today, she gave me one of her credit cards and said to tell you to have fun and not hold back."

"Shouldn't Lissa not be going since she's pregnant and all?" I asked aloud, and by the look on Dimitri's face, he hadn't been told yet. Shit. Sorry Lissa. A little voice in the back of my head told me that I might have to pay for this.

"The Princess is pregnant?" Dimitri asked, calling Lissa by her Court title in his shock.

I nodded and avoided his eyes.

"And she didn't want everybody to be told," Dimitri guessed.

"Adrian doesn't know?" I was surprised. I thought Adrian would know.

"I don't think so," Dimitri said slowly, like he really didn't know.

"Oh, well, where's the plastic?" There was the sarcasm. It was about time that it showed up.

Dimitri reached into his wallet (black leather) and handed me Lissa's platinum American Express card with shadows of the Rose-is-crazy look hinting in his face.

"Hey, Comrade, I'm not insane," I said. Dimitri scowled at the term I used and I just flashed him a confident smile.

Later, I could see why Dimitri drove the extra half hour. The mall was five levels, and easily covered the space of several football fields. There was every store imaginable and a movie theatre that took up three levels with 10 screens.

When we walked in, I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

"Another one of your guardian secrets you're not about to tell me?" I asked, playful anger in my eyes.

"Research," Dimitri said. There wasn't much emotion in his voice.

"So I can drag you around to whatever store I want," I concluded after moving so we weren't blocking the door.

"Anywhere," Dimitri said, but his tone told me that he really didn't mean _everywhere_.

"Well, let's go," I said cheerfully and grabbed Dimitri.

I don't think I had ever shopped for me and myself alone in my entire life, and as soon as I realized this, Lissa's words of _Don't hold back_ suddenly seemed irrelevant. To say I went nuts was an understatement.

I bought enough clothes to rival Lissa's entire wardrobe (which, believe me, is huge) and I found myself not caring about where they were going to go. All that was on my mind was the little black dress I was positive Dimitri didn't know about - he had been in the next store over at the time, looking at some technological gadget. Before we went back home, we stopped at the grocery store so there would be at least a little variety in our meals.

Back at the apartment, I shoved Dimitri out to go find Adrian and his nightclub hopping crew. It was also partly so he wouldn't see the dress until I felt it was the right time to show him.

When he did come back, though, he sent Lissa in to get me, not knowing that my relationship with her wasn't on the best of terms. When she walked into the bathroom, however, she was in one of her good moods. Excitement came streaming through the bond, and it was so intense, I nearly fell over. Figuratively speaking, of course, but it was lots of excitement nonetheless.

"You. Look. Great." Lissa gushed, leaning against the bathroom counter.

"You think so?" I asked nonchalantly as I leaned close to the mirror. I hadn't put make-up on since my college graduation, and I felt inspired.

"I know so," Lissa said. I felt her eyes looking over me, my black heels that accented my calves, my black dress that was practically a strapless t-shirt, my hair, pulled away from my face but still hanging around my shoulder, slightly curled at the bottoms, and my body that made her feel envious and less beautiful.

"Stop feeling jealous," I said, my voice only slightly commanding. "Neither of us had a choice on what we'd be born as."

"You're right." Lissa sighed, defeat in her voice. I capped the mascara and hugged her.

"If it helps, I'm jealous that you get to use magic. I just have to stand around all day. Trust me, there's nothing more boring than that," I said, laughing slightly at the end. Lissa let out a noise that sounded like a cross between a snort, a chuckle, and a giggle.

"You're always right," Lissa said.

"For the most part," I agreed, turning back to the mirror. A few minutes later with Lissa watching me carefully, her excitement coming back full blast.

"Ready?" I asked, dumping the make-up into my clutch, one of the many bags that I bought today.

"Ready," Lissa replied, and hooked her arms through mine. We walked into the living room, giggling and falling over each other like two excited teenagers about to go to a school dance.

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**Filler chapters are a bitch to write.**

**Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Stupid, stupid, stupid AT&T and Verizon. They're the reason you didn't have this chapter and a couple others. My Internet's been out for two weeks, which means I've chapters ready to go. Expect quick updates. (Sorry this is short!)**

**Drama and partying, it's fun this chapter is. (Even Yoda thinks so.)**

**I finished Blood Promise. Who else wants May to come tomorrow to get Spirit Bound? Watch for my post-Blood Promise story in the next week! (And I realize my names for Dimitri's family are different from the canon names. Since this is AU, I'm keeping them. They'll be correct in my other coming-soon story.)**

**Enough chatter. Usual disclaimers apply.**

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We drove. It was too cold, and Adrian was thinking of "the ladies in the heels" (or rather, me) and didn't want us to break a heel. How sweet.

It definitely was a nightclub - there was line out the door, and if you managed to get a glance past the armed Guardians, you could see that it went down into a very dark basement. Which, if you thought about it, was smart, even if Strigoi were smart enough to stay away from the Court.

The cool thing about the line, no pun intended, was the foot heaters. Somebody, female most likely, remembered that it was winter and women would wear heels despite the temperature, and had installed foot heaters on the wall. It also melted the snow on the sidewalk, which was always a plus.

When I say that it was loud, it was loud. I had gone clubbing a lot in college with Lissa when we were on good terms, and sometimes we'd make a weekend out of traveling around to find the best club. Meaning, I'd heard some loud clubs along the way. This was deafening.

On the inside, it was even worse. I glanced over at the bar and was actually slightly shocked that the glasses were still intact. Snagging a booth in the back using our awesome and developed clubbing skills, Lissa and I half-led, half-dragged everyone else over.

"What's with the sitting, Rose?" Adrian asked loudly, a mischevious grin on his face. "I thought you'd be pulling us to the dance floor."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Lissa can't stand the entire night and at some point your feet will be hurting." I doubted my voice could get any louder.

"You have a point," Adrian agreed, quieter this time. I barely caught it.

A bartender working the part of a waitress came by and everyone loaded up on the liquor and alcohol. The exception being Lissa, who ordered a mineral water with a note of melancholy and wistfulness. The bartender seemed to know why Lissa was excluded, and just smiled sadly at her before turning on her heel and weaving through the crowd to the bar.

Somehow, conversation still managed to hold, despite the volume of the nightclub. After two white Russians, my eyes were wandering around the club, waiting for someone else to finish when my eyes found Fya, who was walking down the stairs in a sparkly teal blue dress, similar colored heels, and held onto her clutch like it was her life line.

Deciding to do a random act of kindness, something that was rare, but happened all the time, I excused myself from my own group, and made my way over to her.

"I thought you had to go back on duty at eleven." It was barely ten.

"I know. My Moroi is here, though," Fya yelled back.

"Right. I knew that," I replied, and led her back to the booth. She nodded at Lissa, who waved back. She looked around the table and neatly slid her clutch down the table to Lissa, somehow avoiding hitting the scattered drink glasses on the tabletop.

"I was a bartender back in Russia at one of our local bars during school breaks and for a year or two after I graduated," Fya explained. "There weren't enough Moroi at our school, so I had to wait for an assignment."

Dimitri had snorted at "one of our local bars" and Adrian shot him a look. Fya just smiled at the exchange, and I could only imagine what she glossed over.

Fya looked over her shoulder and then back at me. "You wanna hit the floor?" She had a sudden, teenage feel to her, and I felt like I was a freshman again, drinking and partying.

"Sure," I agreed, half-heartedly shrugging like it wasn't that big of a deal.

"Thanks for holding my clutch, Vasilisa," Fya said loudly so Lissa could hear her. Fya never called anyone by their nickname with the exception of me, after I made it very clear I hated Rosemarie.

"But I didn't-" Lissa started, but dropped her train of thought as Fya pulled me away.

The clutch incident was uncharacteristic of Fya, but we all had those moments, so I just shrugged it off and focused on dancing. I hadn't done this in a couple of years at this point, but getting the hang of it again was so much easier than I expected.

We danced by ourselves for a while, and eventually Eddie and Adrian wandered over. I could barely see past the people to the booth, and saw Dimitri sliding out of it.

Despite being a college graduate, I had that feeling of slipping back into being a teenager. This was what Lissa and I had done in college, but we had been worried (Lissa more than me) that we might get caught with fake IDs. The experience wasn't as fun as now.

Occasionally, one of us would drift over to the bar and get a drink. Most everyone on the floor had a drink in their hands, and soon we were no different from them. Weirdly enough, Dimitri had stopped after one drink. Since I was extremely tipsy, my brain barely noticed his lack of alcohol consumption, but there were few times that I could let loose like this, so I took advantage of it. The small, reasonable voice in the back of my head that sounded like Dimitri told me I was going to pay for this tomorrow, especially since I had to be on duty while Lissa got to sleep.

Dimitri was leaning against the bar when I clumsily walked over.

"Comrade," I said off-handedly, watching his reaction in my peripheral vision. He barely cracked a smile. Shrugging it off in my nearly drunk state, I turned to the bartender and asked for what was probably my fifth drink of the night. Slapping the money on the table after picking the glass up, I turned to Dimitri.

"So why aren't you out there with us?" I asked, glancing at Adrian and Fya, both doing a move that was definitely rated R.

"I don't dance," Dimitri replied, his guardian face on. "And don't try to drag me out there, Rose. It's not going to work."

I pouted. "Oh come on. You have to have partied at least a little when you were in school."

"Nope." Dimitri shook his head. "My sisters were the partiers, not me. Ask my mother or Natalya when she comes in a few days. I was too serious and focused on school and training to be fazed by the whole party and drinking scene." Some alarm went off in the back of my mind that let me know he was lying, but the buzzed part of me ignored it.

"Fine then," I said, childishly sticking my tongue out. "Be like that. I'll go have fine by myself." My words were starting to slur together, and I noted Dimitri eying my drink. I pressed it against my chest like it was my baby, did a once-over on him, and marched back off to the dance floor, where Adrian, Eddie, Fya, and a Christian and Lissa that just showed up greeted me. I didn't even notice that the song had changed and Dimitri watching me like he was trying to read my mind.

The next morning, I woke up to Dimitri shaking me. The first thing I noticed was the headache that made me want to rip my head off and through it at a wall. The second was Dimitri's worried face looking at me. The third was the time, which was a half hour later than when I normally woke up.

I groaned loudly, which made my head pound even harder.

"I was going to take that last drink from you, but I knew I'd probably get beaten up if I did," Dimitri said softly.

"Go ahead and say I told you so," I muttered, grabbing a pillow and pressing it my face.

"Not my style," Dimitri said. "I'm more of a...what was it you said that I spouted on a daily basis? Zen life lessons?"

"Yeah," I groaned, remembering when I thought his lessons were annoying.

"Then call me Buddha."

"Whatever," I said, my voice still rough from what little sleep I got. We had gotten back when the sky was hinting at signs of turning light.

"You need a shower and Tylenol," Dimitri announced, more loudly than I was expecting. His announcement wasn't odd; he would do that all the time. Announce what I needed to do right that moment.

Sighing, I got up. I blindly found clothes, the door, and flipped the water on in the shower. My stomach was protesting loudly and I felt slightly nauseous. Blaming it on my excessive drinking from last night, I took a quick shower, threw my clothes on, and found the Tylenol. I was tempted to taking half the bottle, but a sudden wave of pain in my lower stomach reminded me that my liver probably wouldn't like that. Taking the lousy two pills, I swallowed them dry, and walked out into the kitchen.

Adrian decided on a brunch at Lissa and Christian's at twelve.  
I half expect Lissa to be putting you to work in the kitchen.  
See you there.  
Love,  
Me.

I sighed, tossed the Post-It note in the trash, and forced a piece of toast down my throat. I knew I was going to have some explaining to Eddie, which could possibly turn into a fight if he or I said the wrong thing. He liked pointing out when I was late. Eddie was never late because he took a room in Lissa and Christian's penthouse (my new name for it) and was technically always at work.

As I practically ran to Lissa's, I took the sign of the cold air clearing my head a little to be a good sign. Maybe things would work themselves out.

* * *

**Review!**

**Links to most of the outfits are on my profile.**

**Most songs by Pitbull were the inspiration for this, and if you want to put them on in the background and reread the chapter, the mood might change. I don't know how you tick, but it's a suggestion. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm still slightly sick, so this chapter is definitely not up to par. Which explains the late update. Oh, and high school. I'm sure most of you can relate to getting swamped with school work. It's not fun.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

I walked into a mess. There was some sporting event on the TV that was holding Christian, Jeremy, and Eddie's attention; I doubted that I had ever heard them yell that loud in my life.

"C'mon Johnson!" Eddie shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. I edged away from them, slightly scared of what was going on.

The kitchen was a different story. Fya and Lissa were cooking, but pots and plates and profanities were causing a commotion, plus the sounds of the living room were streaming through the open window in the wall that allowed you to see into the living room. Somehow, over the racket, conversation was being made. I couldn't hear it for the life of me, so I just got Fya's attention, and motioned to the balcony.

"OKAY!" Fya shouted over the din.

I found Dimitri on the balcony and breathed a sigh of relief as I dropped into an ice cold chair.

"Insanity too much for you?" Dimitri asked softly from the other side of the rather large balcony. I could barley hear him. I looked behind me at the events unfolding outside.

"Yeah, you could say that," I said. I turned back around, weird vibes coming from Dimitri. It was like he was watching me. I got the sensation a lot, but it was much more scrutinizing this time.

"What's with the staring, Comrade?" I challenged, my eyes flitting to Dimitri and back to the lightly falling snow. A small part of me hoped to catch him off guard with an unexpected use of his old nickname.

"Nothing," Dimitri said, turning his head to look at the same empty space I was looking at.

Liar, I thought, but said nothing. We sat in silence - there was nothing special about it - with the exception of the muffled sounds coming through the glass. After a few minutes, a chorus of "Adrian, where have you been?" floated through, but I didn't look back. It would only be an invitation for him to come outside and ruin my neutral mood.

I didn't look back until Lissa poked her head out and called my name.

"What?" I asked softly, and I could see Dimitri get up and walk over.

"You two frozen lovebirds can come eat now," Lissa said, smirking. She concealed her sarcasm well, I'd give her that much.

"Very funny," I muttered, returning the smirk and walking in.

"You must be starving with that hangover of yours, right Rose?" Lissa asked, coming up behind me. The coat that was halfway down my arms was dragged off the rest of the way and I barely registered that Lissa was taking it somewhere else.

It felt like one of those nightmares where you walk into a dining room that's overflowing with food and everybody knows that you're the main course. And you're the clueless one.

Two things about that were correct, I realized as I took a seat next to Dimitri. First was that the room_ was_ overflowing with food. I doubted that everyone, Eddie included, could finish all of the food. It looked like somebody had announced that Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and the Fourth of July would all be squashed together and it was mandatory to celebrate the new quad-holiday in one day. Ham, turkey, hot dogs, hamburgers, pork chops, five different kinds of pasta salad, and endless amounts of fruits barely covered what was laid out in front of everyone.

Second was that I felt like I was out of the loop. More so with certain people than others. Again, the sensation that Dimitri was watching - judging, to be specific - me out of the corner of his eye came back. On inspection of everyone seated around the table, Adrian and Eddie also weirdly fit the description. A little freaked out, I focused on a now returning Lissa.

"So what's with the spread?" I asked casually.

"Nobody told you?" Christian asked, surprised.

"Nobody tells me anything these days," I snapped. I sensed Dimitri stiffen.

"It is to celebrate Lissa and Christian having a baby!" My mother announced, walking in. She gave Lissa a brief hug. "Sorry we're late. The traffic back home trying to get to the airport was ridiculous. We nearly missed our flight." Janine looked around our group and gave us all a tight smile. She nodded in my direction. It was then that I noticed the two extra, unfilled spots next to me, and the dhampir behind her.

"Well, you're here, aren't you?" Lissa threw back, a friendly tone to her voice. The nightmare feeling increased.

Janine smiled and let out a little giggle. I inconspicuously rubbed my jaw to make sure it hadn't fallen into my empty plate.

Only after Janine and the mystery guest sat down and we got past the tedious introductions - the mystery guest's name was David, and he was apparently Irish - was it time to eat. David had taken the seat next to me, but Janine had squeezed my shoulder on her way past me to let me know she knew I was here, so getting information out of him wouldn't be as hard as I thought.

The table was a large circle, so while we loaded up our plates and ate heartily, conversation was easy. Eddie even decided to go down memory lane until Lissa cut him off when he got to senior year at St. Vladimir's. It was a lazy, comfortable, fun time.

"Alright, alright, fine," Eddie agreed. "Whatever you want, _Princess_." Calling Lissa "Princess" had become a bit of a joke over the years.

"You went to St. Vladimir's?" David asked me, his thick Irish brogue making it nearly impossible to hear him.

"Excuse me?" I responded instantly, accidentally dropping my fork. It clanged against the chinaware softly.

"Your mother didn't mention that you went to St. Vladimir's Academy," David repeated.

"Um, yeah," I said distantly. "What do you mean, 'my mother didn't mention'?"

David chuckled to himself. "Janine has told me a lot about you."

I was certain a puzzled look came over my face, because David continued to chuckle to himself.

"How do you know my mother?" I questioned, ignoring the chuckling.

"Nobody does tell you anything these days," David noted, repeating what I said earlier. "I'm a friend of Janine's." He seemed cautious about his words. "Yes, a friend. We'll leave it at that." He winked at me and continued eating.

I immeadiately grew suspicious of David and a little part of me was yelling at me to confront my mother about it. But I was smart enough to put two and two together. I just didn't want to admit it.

When it seemed the food was nearly gone, Lissa, who dragged me along to help, brought out enough desserts to rival the amount of food we just ate.

"Lissa," Christian groaned.

"Really?" Eddie added, throwing in his own groan for emphasis.

"Really. Although nobody has to continue to sit anymore." Lissa set down the last of the chocolate covered strawberries and disappeared into the kitchen with some empty platters she had taken off the table.

"Thank goodness," Adrian muttered. He stood up, stretching, and made his way out of the dining room towards the balcony. I followed him, eager for some air.

"Little dhampir," Adrian muttered as I closed the door behind me. "You like it out here. I saw you before Lissa played nineteen fifties housewife."

I let out a lone chuckle that sounded a bit more like a scoff.

"You have to admit that it was good food," I countered, walking to the guardrail. I leaned against it, my back to the festivities inside. I folded my arms across my chest - I had left my coat inside.

"True," Adrian said vaguely.

We stood in silence. Adrian with his cigarette and coat, me without my coat and staring at the still falling snow. I hadn't noticed how dark it had gotten. We had eaten the day away.

"I've heard that you're good with keeping secrets," Adrian said quietly, and then glanced over his shoulder. He drew one last drag off his cigarette, turned back around, and threw the cigarette into the snow several stories below.

"And?" I prompted.

"So is your boyfriend." I could hear the smirk in his voice. That cocky grin that irritated the hell out of me.

I grunted in response.

"You've noticed a change in him, haven't you? He's gotten protective, controlling, and you don't know why, is that correct?"

"Yes," I said defensively. I didn't like where this was going.

"I do," Adrian said, and when he slid closer to me, I could see that he had his trademark grin in place.

"And what do you want from me so you can tell me? Money? A dinner?"

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Nothing at all."

"Then why are you stalling?"

"I'm waiting for you to brace yourself."

"Why would I-"

"Dimitri is working for an inner ring of my aunt's. Sort of like an intelligence and investigation network handpicked by Tatiana herself."

My breath caught in my throat.

"They're responsible for all the information we have on Strigoi." Adrian paused. "A group of informants go in and pretend to be one of the Strigoi to gather intelligence. Then another group collects this information from the informants and deciphers it. They try to predict what the Strigoi's next major move will be. If they had been around before the St. Vlad's attack, they most likely would have been able to predict that."

I found my voice after digesting this information. "So, in theory, he's a member of a selective KGB." I hadn't meant for the analogy to be related to Dimitri's country's history, but it slipped out.

"Yes, that would be correct." Adrian's grin was now a grim, tight line.

"And why would that change his behavior?" I asked softly. I felt sick and didn't want to look back at the events unfolding inside. I was suddenly no longer cold.

"While they're good at covering their tracks, word is bound to get out that someone as famous as Dimitri Belikov is part of the intelligence gatherers. And Strigoi are slowly starting to change their tactics. If they desperately wanted him, they would go after you first to weaken him. Emotionally, physically, psychologically."

"And they would have an easier time being able to change him," I finished.

"Exactly. Dimitri was part of the first round of guardians they were recruiting. He got the job shortly after you and Lissa came to the Court permanently."

It explained a lot, especially the laptop scene. There was information about Strigoi that I was apparently not privy to see.

"Anything else?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"Nothing," Adrian confirmed. "Are you okay?" He was facing me now.

I shook my head. "No," I said. "I'm most definitely not okay." I turned on one heel, and marched straight inside.

* * *

**Review!**

**If you happen to read this and Promise Bound, and want to know about what info I squeezed out of Richelle at the Fairfax signing, you have to wait for the chapter of PB to find out. xD I'm just that evil.**

**And this isn't the last you'll hear of Dimitri's second job. -wink-**


	10. Chapter 10

**Cheers for a quick chapter! I went to the Snow Patrol and Plain White T's concert last night, and it inspired me for a new little extra to the story. Which, in turn, sparked me to start writing this thing faster! So cheers for awesome concerts, too!**

**Usual disclaimers apply. And a special thanks to Hans Zimmer for creating epic scores that people put on Youtube.**

**As they say in Baia: Brace yourself.**

* * *

I kept marching from the balcony, Adrian catching the sliding door I had slammed behind me before it closed. Marching past my mother and her guest, past my fellow guardians, past Lissa, Christian, Eddie. Marching all the way up to Dimitri, ignoring everyone else.

My fist connecting with his jaw jolted him out of his conversation with David and Janine.

"Bastard," I spat, and resumed my purpose-filled walking without a glance at anybody else. The silence I had created upon my entrance erupted into ear-splitting commotion when I was on the other side of Lissa's door. I kept on my guardian face as I passed people in the halls, my feet never breaking rhythm as I left the building.

It hadn't occurred to me that I once again forgot my coat until I hit outside, the snow hitting my knees. I was shivering by the time I got to the apartment building. I didn't have enough energy to go inside and settled for collapsing in the snow by the side entrance, my guardian face finally breaking.

I cried extremely hard and most reasons why I couldn't figure out at the time. The biggest reason - the one that I knew would haunt me every time I looked at him - was of his lack of trust.

As a _student_, I had known everything about his job. There had never been any secrets between us, even the Victor trial hadn't been kept secret for long. If he didn't outright tell me, I had always somehow gotten the truth out of him because I knew something was up. I had always known when something was off about Dimitri, but since the change had stayed fairly consistent, I had learned and adapted to not question it. To go with it. Telling myself that it was because both of us were in the real world, not just him.

Lying in the snow, I slowly came to the realization I had been so very naive and uncharacteristic about the whole thing. I hadn't pushed myself to figure out what caused the change. I hadn't gotten stubborn and demanded things like why he always hid what he was doing on that laptop and why some nights he came in late without explanation, just a "I'm home, what more do you need?" to make me content with things. I hadn't fought against him when he ordered me to do things for _my_ own good.

I rolled over, my face meeting the cold snow. I felt like I had lost a part of myself to some unknown void. Like I had been slapped in the face. Like I had woken up and been told that everything I knew and everyone I loved no longer existed.

The hot tears kept pouring over my eyelids, melting the snow underneath me. Eventually my face felt numb, so I sat up and pulled my knees tight against my chest. Rocking back and forth. Whimpering to myself.

The pain ripping through my heart felt worse than when I had thought I had lost him to the Strigoi in the St. Vladimir attack, as many people called it around the Court. I had myself convinced that nothing could feel worse.

I hated him. Despised him. My trust in and for him had vanished with the punch I threw at him. He now sickened me to my core that he would keep such a secret from me. It was possible for him to have told me even just a tiny sliver of what he did.

My sobs and howls had died down to nothing but whimpers when I thought of hating Adrian for telling me this. The buried, caved-in part of me that had silenced in standing up for him was starting to get louder when it said I should be thankful that somebody told me and he or I hadn't died without an explanation. I would have rather gone through life in my little unknowing bubble, but I told myself that that nice, warm, comfortable bubble had been shattered. It was unrepairable. Gone. Banished to oblivion.

"Rose?"

I stopped whimpering when I heard the voice. I kept my eyes pressed into my knees and tighten the grip of my arms around my legs.

"Rose, sweetie." Pause. "I'm here to help." Another pause. "Dimitri thought-"

"The hell what he wants," I snapped, my head and body shooting up at the same time. I stared straight into the eyes of my mother without any wavering, any sort of discomfort or lack of determination and defiance. I could see she faltered at my sudden outburst. There was a pause before she spoke, clearly unsettled by my words and reaction.

"He thought you might react this way," my mother said quietly, looking down. Disgusted and outraged that she was in on this, too, I turned on my heel and trudged through the last few remaining yards to the doors.

"Rose, wait," she called out, and I could hear her awkwardly running to catch up with me.

"Is everybody in on this?" I hissed angrily at her when she caught up to me. Her cheeks were red from the cold, but I was certain I was in worse shape. I had been lying face first in the snow. Not just standing and trying to talk to my upset daughter.

"No," Janine started to say, but I cut her off again.

"Do not tell me just the Moroi were not informed. I would like to know of at least five guardians who are not in the know about this." My voice was still a deadly whisper. Still speaking slowly and deliberately. Still venom-filled for all of the hatred I was feeling.

"Adrian had knowledge of it," my mother tried to reason. Ignoring my request of five guardians.

"HIS GREAT AUNT IS THE FUCKING QUEEN!" I exploded, not caring that I was slowly pissing my mother off. "OF COURSE HE WOULD HAVE SOME KNOWLEDGE!"

I was seething. Past seething. Past furious. Past any description related to furious. Past raging. I was so filled up with emotions, I could barely contain my rage.

I ran over to the light pole near the edge of the street and kicked it. And again, with a lot of force behind it. And again, more force building up behind each kick. I took out small portions of the horrid emotions that were tumbling out. The tears came back again.

"ROSE!" Her voice was distant and faint, and I could feel her arms around my torso, dragging me away from the light pole.

"LET GO OF ME!" I yelled, kicking my legs. She carried me for quite some time, putting up with my elbows and feet that I had been throwing at her in my confined position against her.

We ended up in a large field, still on Court grounds. Near the guarded entrance. Away from the other buildings.

She threw me down a good half a mile into the field. It was used as a plane tarmac, except we were right in the middle of the two runways. It was impossible to see the tar. I would have bet everything I had that we were in the exact middle of the field so Janine would have some hopes of catching up with me if I were to take off.

I kneed Janine in the gut. Smacked across the face. Twisting her head roughly. All in the same motion.

The blackness I had felt years ago in school suddenly came rushing back. I was suddenly an animal. Incapable of controlling myself. What ever blows and attacks I dealt Janine were rough. Untamed. Wild. Feral.

She didn't put up a fight. She let me take out my fury and rage on her. She didn't even raise an arm to defend herself against her savage daughter. She was a board. I was the weapon.

I spent ten minutes pulling her apart. By the time I finished, she fell to the snow. Some of the snow around her turned crimson. I didn't know where I drew blood. But I was still thirsty for it.

I saw a plane coming in. Vaguely, I remembered the ball coming up on Friday. Moroi from around the globe would be flooding in this week.

I watched the plane land. I noted where the tarmac was. Checked Janine. She was still breathing. Still conscious. Still alive.

Putting on a facade of being composed, I took off after the Moroi-filled plane. I caught up with some guardians who were unloading luggage.

"There's a...woman...hurt...we were...walking and...something....attacked her....Janine...Hathaway." I made sure that I was breathing heavily. When I finally clarified who it was, they started yelling for guardians to go alert the Queen.

"Can you take her to us?" One of them asked. He was older, about forty. Gray hair. Built muscles. The other two guardians with him were about the same, except shorter. "Or do you need some time to catch your breath?"

"She is...bleeding...I do...not...mind," I said. My hands on my knees. Good tactic.

"Well, let's go then," another one of the guardians said. I ran off. Hearing the guardians behind me. Still planning in my head.

When we got to Janine, the three crouched around her. One fell back after a second to light a flare he had on him. After he set it a foot away, he ran a few yards and set off three rounds of five fireworks per round. They were the safe kind some Moroi had invented for guardians to use when they were stranded at night and needed someone to find them. They were specifically designed so that the flaming pieces wouldn't hurt anybody, any victims included.

My facade falling, I snuck up behind the fireworks guardian. I landed a wild kick into his back. He toppled forward into the snow. I rolled him over. Shoved a piece of my torn shirt into his mouth. Commanded him, "Do not move. No sounds."

I left him nodding fiercely. The other two guardians were now dispatching others on their radios.

"Hathaway," the tallest one said. There was some crackling. A voice asked him to clarify.

"Janine. Her daughter-"

He didn't get another word in when I jumped him. I managed to lead him away from Janine a little bit. Let the black wrath that had been building up inside take over. At some point the third guardian came over. Tried to help his friend. It was futile. But something kept me from killing them outright.

I had the two of them in similar states when I dragged them by their shirts over to Janine. I ripped their shirts off of their backs. The gagged guardian was easily knocked out with a swift kick to his head. I ripped the cloth out of his mouth. Dragged him over. Ripped his shirt off, too.

I set the flare on the shirts. Threw them up in the air. Cheered maniacally and ferociously. I didn't feel like I was a guardian. A dhampir. Anything close to human or tame.

I screamed loudly into the air. My hands flew up into the air. Back down to my sides. My screams became snarls. I ran to the trees and kept going. I had no direction. No purpose. I had just attacked four guardians without reason. Part of me was fleeing. Part of me was just contacting the inner animal in me.

This was what going crazy felt like. Ms. Karp most likely felt like this. Anna, too. As I thought about them, I realized I hadn't thought about them in years. But their situation applied to me. I had gone crazy. The mental obstruction I had put up to block out the blackness caused by spirit was gone.

Miles passed by me. Went unnoticed. I was in the mountains of Pennsylvania, a wild animal, the sun rising.

At some point, I made a large semi-circle. Headed back in the direction of the Court.

I was slowly becoming much more myself. Losing the animal. Losing the blackness.

I was grateful as I kept pushing myself to make it to the grounds. I hated succumbing to the black void. But at the same time, it was the only time I felt free.

I wondered where it came from as I drove myself the miles separating me and the rigid, conforming Moroi world. Lissa must have been using compulsion and it combined with my lack of defenses mentally. What Adrian had told me had definitely taken me by surprise. Feeling betrayed, my resistance came crumbling down. That would be the answer I was going to accept until I got to talk to Lissa.

As I entered the trees, a mile away from the wards, I stopped and looked behind me.

I pegged it to be somewhere around six in the morning, based on the sun's location in the sky. There was barely enough light to see by, but the landscape was too glorious for words.

The sun just barely came up over the top of the mountains. The mountains themselves were dark, jagged, slanting lines. The sky had nearly every color in the rainbow, but red, orange, and violet stood out the most.

It left a sense of being vulnerable and open. A sense of being connected to the world as more than just an inhabitant. A sense that I was put here to do something. A sense that everything that had happened in my life, shitty and wonderful, was all for a purpose. A purpose to do great things and change the world.

A wind swept through lightly. It blew my hair back away from my face, which had fallen down in my black haze.

I felt powerful and majestic watching the Pennsylvanian landscape creep into view. The vulnerability and openness not only counteracted the feelings, but enhanced them as well.

I walked the mile back to the grounds. My feelings grew with every step I took. My epiphany of my having to do great things spirited me and let me plan out ahead.

I knew I was going to have to talk with him. I could not let him get away with this. I wanted to know why he could not have let me in on even a little tiny part. At least I would know that I would have to fend for my life if need be and know the reasons behind it.

I also knew I was going to get into some serious trouble for my attacks. Lissa's spirit was still highly looked down upon, as was our bond, despite the number of people curious about it. (Our Moroi historians, mainly.) I had to admit to myself that I had no excuse. Our bond and the dark effects of spirit would only amuse and piss Tatiana off. I had no legitimate excuse, save insanity.

At the moment, I wasn't freaking out about what might happen to me. I was a highly respected and well known guardian. The respect I had gained from people was hard earned when they had found out that I had been involved with a teacher as a senior in school. My Strigoi kills and pushes for changes through Lissa had nicely covered up that blip in my track record.

I briefly checked the bond and felt worry pulsing through. Lissa had taken my exit with feelings of discomfort, confusion, worry, and a tiny amount of awe for having that much guts to do such a thing to a man I loved. Now, having heard of my attacks, she only worried about what had happened to me. She had been told that I had disappeared and nobody had any way of contacting me. Even she knew that I was going to get into some major trouble with the Queen over my actions.

I paused at the wards. My strength hesitated. After a second thought of braving it out in the wilderness, I took a single step over the wards, placing my foot gingerly on the ground. After a deep breath, I pulled the second foot over the wards. I could see a huddle of people down where I had finally touched insanity.

Inhaling deeply, I started off towards my apartment building, clothes horribly tattered, hands and face bloody from the woods.

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**Review!**

**This was a very emotional chapter and certainly much more difficult to write than originally thought (a good 2 hours without breaks). Next chapter is yet another confrontation. I'm sure you all know who it's with.**


	11. Chapter 11

**-shoos away plot bunnies and stands to make an important announcement-**

**Yes, this is a chapter. Yes, I have something important to say. Yes, you may not see me at all in November.**

**For those of you who know about it, next November is - gasp, it's finally here! - NaNoWriMo. (National Novel Writing Month.) For those of you who don't know, it's an excuse to go write 50k words in 30 days and try to complete a story. Which means all of my other concerns (including my social life, if you must know) will be put on hold so I can attempt to do something insane. No, it's not another exciting FanFic. It's completely original. (But I do have an exciting idea that I'm putting on the back burner for the new year come January. I just need to get November out of the way so I can plot, plot, plot.)**

**Anyway, this is just letting all of you lovely readers know that I'll be MIA for pretty much all of November. So don't expect any updates between now and Christmas because my muse will be sucked dry.**

**Rant over. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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I trekked back to the apartment building, trying to make use of my body's heat so I wouldn't freeze to death and thinking over what had just happened.

First off, I had gone insane. I hadn't stayed insane because I was too mentally strong - even Tatiana would admit to it under the right circumstances. But surprise and disbelief had taken down my mental barriers with one swift kick, and it left me vulnerable to spirit's effects. Lissa and I had worked hard to put up the blockade in the first place. I knew I was going to have to see her soon so she could help me put it back up.

As I walked and thought about it, guardians rushing around, responding to the alert of a possible wild animal or out of control guardian (being as inconspicuous as possible with my shredded clothes was not an easy feat; many guardians kept throwing nervous glances in my direction), it made no sense what Janine did. She dumped me in a field and then just stood there while I took out my anger and frustration. Albeit, it was intensified by the blackness, but that didn't help clear it up anymore than it could have. Not putting up a fight was very unlike my mother.

I reached the building before I wanted to realize it. I stared at the main entrance doors and exhaled loudly.

"Well, just do it, Rose," I muttered to myself in hopes of somehow getting inspired to walk inside and face him.

I ignored myself and stalled outside the door, pacing around a bit, blowing warm air into my cupped hands for warmth. After a few minutes, I couldn't stand it, and I went inside.

I decided to take the elevator up - it was closed and would psychologically make me stay on the elevator and keep going up. My apartment was right near the elevator but far away enough that the doors would be closed, thus playing the psychology card again.

When I eased the door open, the lights were off and the living room/kitchen looked untouched. I turned the heat up and checked the bathroom door - it was still left open ajar. I creeped over to the bedroom, gently opening up the door. The building was still fairly new and the doors didn't squeak due to lack of oil. As I opened it slowly with bated breath, I hoped that now wouldn't be the time it decided to get old and squeak on me. I didn't want to give away that I was here.

The light from the rising sun rested faintly on his sleeping form. He was on his back, his head turned to the side, facing where I was standing. He forehead was creased, as though he were having a confusing dream.

Sighing quietly, I stripped my shredded clothing off of my body, balling it up into a tight ball and easing it into the wastebasket by the dresser. I slipped into comfortable clothing and ran a brush through my hair, not bothering with putting it up in any way. Tired as hell, I gently climbed into bed next to him, careful not to wake him up. I was starting to feel my legs after my run all over western Pennsylvania.

I propped myself on my elbow, watching him sleep and enjoying the moment. It was my moment, nothing I could share with anybody, save him, but he wasn't awake to share it with me. Technically, it was my moment all to myself, just like the moment in the edge of the trees, watching the sun rise.

It was also a bit of a victory moment. I had never watched him sleep - it had always been the other way around because he went to bed after me and woke up before me. Not even in college when I pulled all-nighters. He always made sure I stayed out in the living room or left me at Lissa's to give me privacy. Or so he said. Everything he had said or done in the past few years was suddenly suspicious because of my newfound knowledge.

In the few minutes I spent letting my eyes roam over his face, his face relaxed. The aging that happened because of the stress of his second job - I refused to think of it as anything else - was now suddenly evident. He looked younger than thirty-two (an age I could hardly comprehend myself), nearly as young as he did when he dragged me back to school. When I thought about it, he looked roughly forty when he was awake. The few lines that creased his face during the day were now nonexistent. I had to resist the urge to touch his face, afraid it would ruin the moment.

The sunlight reflected off of something shiny. Careful not to disturb him, I took one last glance at his face, forever trapping it in my mind's eye, and then got out of bed. My feet found slippers out of a subconscious want for comfort, and I padded over to his bedside table. Normally it held nothing on the top except for dust, and I occasionally made the snappy comment about it. Now, a book lay open on the usually dusty surface. Wondering what it was - he still read the rare Western novel he used to obsess over years ago, but long since gave it up because of work - I bent down to look at it. On further inspection, I found it was a journal.

I closed it, my finger marking where it had been open situated in between pages. I climbed back into bed and opened it back up. The date in the upper left hand corner read yesterday and the page was about half full. As I read the words - thankfully, it was all in English - I found that Dimitri was troubled by my sudden outburst. He didn't know why I had snapped. I was going to kill that damn little royal Moroi the next time I laid my eyes on him. He was worried about me and had started talking about plans to figure out what was wrong when the writing ended. I gathered that he was tired because his handwriting had gotten lazy and sloppy as the page went on. Quickly checking other pages but not reading them, I saw that each entry was exactly a page long. He must have been tired.

I opened up to the last entry, reached over Dimitri cautiously, and set it back down on the bedside table. Feeling slightly less annoyed and mad at him, I slid down under the covers, taking pleasure in the warmth of his body heat. I fell asleep quickly. Right when I was on the edge of sleep, I vaguely recalled rolling close into Dimitri and putting an arm around his waist only to have him hug me closer to him. Had I been more aware, I wouldn't have done it, but my subconscious realized that I was in for it when he woke up.

I had several dreams, gratefully never slipping into Lissa's head or - God forbid he'd do something that stupid - Adrian slipping into mine. I didn't remember much about them except for the fact that there was lots of running and a meeting with some Middle Eastern stranger. For some reason, I seemed to know him and I definitely felt like I knew him when I woke up later, but I couldn't place where I would know him from.

When I woke up, it was about five in the morning according to the clock next to my head. Figuring I had slept the entire day away, I went to move to get out of bed, but felt an arm snaked around my body, holding me tight against what felt like a brick wall.

"I knew you'd wake up sooner or later, Roza," a rough, Russian-accented voice whispered against my ear. "And right now, you are not going anywhere." There was something playful and calm that I heard in Dimitri's voice that I hadn't heard since the night, way back with the dinosaurs, in the cabin in the hours we had laid there.

"Can I at least face you?" I asked, feeling like our roles had switched.

"Maybe."

"Comrade," I whined, figuring that two could play at this game for the time being.

"Fine," Dimitri muttered gruffly. His arm loosened for a quick second, long enough for my to flip over to my other side. "But that's the last time you're moving today."

"Don't you have to work?" I asked, playing with the strings on his sweatshirt, not looking at him directly.

"Tatiana gave me the day off so I could help figure out what happened the other day. But since you didn't wake up yesterday, I also get today off. And we're not moving until I get information out of you," Dimitri said, his voice and tone joking, but underneath the sparkle of his eyes, I saw the glint of being completely serious.

"Well, wouldn't that make you a bit of a hypocrite?" I mumbled, my fingers working their way up to the stubble on his chin.

"How?" he asked, easing down from his propped-up position. I lifted my head so the he could put his arm under my head. His waist-free hand snaked tightly into my hair, resting comfortably at the back. He did that a lot.

"Don't get mad, because it's nothing I said or did. Adrian just came out and said it," I rushed, resting my hand on his cheek comfortingly.

"What?" Dimitri asked.

"About your...other job," I said, not sure how to phrase it. "How." I paused. "How you do all that intelligence stuff with the Strigoi."

Dimitri searched my eyes, his face suddenly hard, the lines in it creasing deeply. "You're serious. This isn't a game to you."

"Why would it be?" I snapped. I ducked my head and exhaled loudly. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"What?" Dimitri repeated.

"I disappeared the other night because I needed to think. That's not the whole story, but I'm not mentally strong enough to regale you with tales of my insanity." Dimitri opened his mouth, but I put a finger over it. "I tried to answer the problem of why you couldn't have told me even just a little bit of what you were doing. I could have known - should have known - a little bit in case something were to come up and I needed to fight for my life or something and somebody made a comment and then I would freeze up and-"

"You're rambling," Dimitri murmured gently, moving my finger from his lips to my own. "And the only reason I didn't tell you and forbade others to tell you was because I needed to be able to watch you. Tatiana didn't think you'd ever be ready, but I knew that you would be, even if it was a decade from now. I was your mentor after all. I know a lot about how you tick."

I dropped my hand from my mouth. "Ready for what?" I asked, my voice soft and innocent.

His reply shocked me to my core. "To see if you would be good as one of us."

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**Review!**

**Cliffies! Yippee! Don't you love them? -devilish smile- And this one only exists because I wanted to write more but it's past one in the a.m. my time. Damn sleep.**

**Ah, and just to make your spirits brighten a little more, I'd like to let you know that this story is only 1/3 of the way finished. And there will be a sequel to this sequel. So I guess you could say this is the second in a trilogy. xD**


	12. Chapter 12

**Eh...Nothing to say. Bet you all love me now for a quick turnaround after that nice little cliffie I sprung.**

**And, if you're really that obsessed with the status of my FanFics, you can follow my FF account on Twitter - www . twitter . com / ffjaroship**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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I could hear Dimitri yelling my name, pleading loudly for me to stop walking, to go back with him to the apartment, to let him explain everything. But my fiery temper and stubbornness kept me walking towards the woman who I absolutely detested, despite her being my highest superior. At this point, with everything that had happened in the past 48 or so hours, I wanted answers from the person who knew them the best.

I barely knew where I was going, but some dark corner of my brain recalled a map of the entire Court I had seen a few times. Working on that, the back of my brain kept my feet in the right direction. The front was too busy fuming to think about much else.

I stormed into the main administrative building and saw groups of Moroi milling about, dressed up fancily. They were streaming out of a set of wide, wooden double doors - doors that led to the main courtroom. I brushed past them, careful to keep my ankle-length coat covering up my out-of-place clothes underneath.

Tatiana was sitting in her normal seat - the ones the judges sat in during those cop shows on TV - and was talking quietly to a guardian. I waited until she had dismissed the guardian before clearing my throat.

"I'm sorry, but court is-" Tatiana called out loudly, but stopped when she looked up. A smile crept onto the Queen's face when she saw me. I knew it all too well - it was the smile she wore when I was about to receive a lecture because of some rule I broke. "Rosemarie, dear, how good it is to see you. Guardian Belikov, a pleasure as well. What can I do for you?" I knew she was stalling, allowing me to say whatever I wanted to say before laying it on thick about my adventures a couple of nights before.

I looked behind me to see the doors swing shut behind Dimitri. I was all the way up at the front, closer to Tatiana than Dimitri, but I felt like he was close enough to make out the details of my intricately designed promise mark on the back of my neck. My head quickly snapped back towards Tatiana. Breathing became a little difficult.

I opened my mouth when Dimitri spoke for me, his tone calm and rational, like he just hadn't chased me a good mile and a half because I wouldn't answer him.

"She would like to know why she was the only guardian in the Court unaware of the Intelligence Ring. I have already attempted to explain it to her, but she apparently wants a higher power to explain it."

In my imagination, I would have turned around and snapped at him that he hadn't in fact, explained anything, but stuck in reality, I just rocked back and forth on my feet and kept my mouth shut.

"Is that so, Miss Hathaway?" Tatiana asked, her cool attitude suddenly ice cold. I felt like I was in first grade again, getting lectured for slapping Jesse Zeklos for no good reason.

"Yes, Your Majesty," I replied, feeling Dimitri come up right behind me.

"Well, I can tell you this - your infractions from the other night will severely damage your chances of getting initiated now." I felt Dimitri stiffen beside me. If he didn't tell me everything, I didn't have to tell him everything about my adventures of insanity. An eye for an eye.

"I understand, Your Majesty," I mumbled, not breaking eye contact, no matter how interesting the carpet suddenly was.

"I am letting you aware ahead of time that once your mother and the others full recover, there will be a trial. Whether or not you are excused from your position remains to be seen, since I have no full control over that." I started to open my mouth to object, but she just shook her head and continued on. "What you did was inexcusable and shall not be tolerated. Ever. As for what your little-" Tatiana paused, catching herself in the middle of calling Dimitri a term she loved to throw around when it was just the two of us. "As for what Guardian Belikov did and did not tell you, I will speak with him later, time permitting."

"I understand, Your Majesty," I said automatically. I saw Dimitri nod out of the corner of my eye.

"Guardian Belikov, I am ordering that you tell her the rest of what she needs to know. Miss Hathaway, I am ordering you to listen to him and think of what a proper, suitable punishment for yourself could be. There is a rumor that you may be able to sentence yourself. Now, recess is almost over and this is a private trial. You are dismissed." She waved her hand and looked back down at her papers.

I stomped out of the courtroom graciously, pissed off I hadn't gotten my answers, still ignoring Dimitri. I was halfway near the apartment building when somebody grabbed my arm.

"What?" I snapped, spinning around. Dimitri was still holding onto my arm tightly. His head was ducked to avoid the wind, but it just pushed his hair into his face. He tried to tuck the loose strands behind he ear with his free hand, but they just slipped loose again.

Dimitri pulled me into a tight hug and whispered apologies over and over in my ear in response. After a few minutes, I reluctantly put my arms around him and melted into his embrace. He fell silent, just stroking my hair, his cheek resting on the top of my head.

"I think we both have some explaining to do," Dimitri said softly. He pulled away from me a little bit. I wiped my eyes. Tiny tears had sprung up in the corners. Ignoring the looks from guardians and Moroi passing us, I turned around and walked back to the apartment with Dimitri. There was nothing romantic about it, the silence was completely neutral, but we seemed to be thinking about what to say.

When we got inside, Dimitri disappeared into the bedroom. Tired, sore, and my exposed skin having been bit by the extreme cold outside, I trudged into the bathroom for a hot, steaming shower that I was entitled to after the past weekend.

My skin was pink from the hot water when I got out, but I felt refreshed and a lot less sore. Still wondering how to explain what happened with a clean guardian uniform on, I half-dried my hair and then put it up in a messy ponytail and wandered out to the living room. I could hear Dimitri still in the shower. Somehow, a silent agreement that showers were necessary had been formed.

I dropped onto the couch and dragged the wicker coffee table closer, putting my feet on top. I idly wondered about rearranging the living room to make the TV closer when I remembered something.

Jolting upright, I flew over to the bathroom door and started pounding on it.

"Rose, what-" Dimitri asked, opening the door a little bit. He was rubbing a towel through his hair and another towel was loosely wrapped around his waist.

"It's Tuesday, right?" I rushed.

"Yes," Dimitri said slowly, tossing the towel into the corner.

"Natalya," I sputtered out. "Your sister is coming today."

Dimitri swore and pushed past me into the bedroom. I stood rooted to the spot for a second and then realized that the apartment was a mess. An hour past in which Dimitri and I attempted to clean the entire place spotless. Since the building's apartments were too small to accommodate a washer/dryer system, they installed a communal laundry room. Dimitri and I were desperately in need of clean clothes, and while Dimitri ran a vacuum cleaner over the carpet, I ran downstairs and threw some clothes in the wash. I could always get them later that night.

"I can't believe I forgot," Dimitri muttered. He was crouched in front of the TV stand, flipping through the small collection of DVDs we had. Peter loved movies and HBO hardly played kid-appropriate movies late at night.

"With everything that's happened, I don't blame you," I murmured, kneeling next to him. I put a supportive arm around him and lightly brushed my lips on his temple. "I'm glad that I remembered before they showed up."

"That would have been a sight to see," Dimitri agreed, shifting to sit on the floor. He pulled me into his lap. "We still need to talk."

"Jet lag always makes a person tired," I hinted.

"I guess there might be time later. Or I could always steal you away from Lissa tomorrow and treat you to lunch."

"With what money?" I teased, nuzzling his neck sweetly. It was in that moment did I realize how much I missed sweet, quiet, tender moments like this. I felt Dimitri's arms tighten around me protectively.

"Adrian's," Dimitri said. The usual hand that snaked into my arm found its usual place in the back. It had turned into a bit of a security blanket for me over the years and most of the insecurities I had felt that day vanished.

"Very funny. I'm sure he'd approve," I noted. There was a touch of sarcasm to my voice.

"How so?" Dimitri murmured.

I sat back and looked at the love of my life. "Allowing his guardian to take his most wanted desire on an actual date? Seriously, Comrade?"

Dimitri bristled at the nickname more out of habit than anything else - as Eddie had pointed out a week ago, he was, technically, born a Soviet - but relaxed almost instantly.

"I see your point." His lips found mine. Relishing the warmth and familiar feel of his lips, I pulled away before things could get too heavy.

"That bed won't make itself," I said, slightly breathless.

"Damn it," Dimitri muttered, his voice taking a sudden husky feel to it. He nipped playfully at my ear. "And I thought I'd have a few more minutes."

I uncharacteristically giggled and gave him one last sweet kiss before standing up. I didn't look behind me, but I could feel Dimitri's hungry eyes boring into my back as I went about making the pull-out bed like nothing had happened. Adrian had once said that I was too much of a tease for him to handle sometimes. I could understand that now.

I was nearly finished when the naseuous hit again. I ran for the bathroom, barely making it in time before what little I had eaten in the past few days came roaring back up. At the same time I could feel Lissa having the same experience, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I made connections to what was going on with my pregnancy-like symptoms. However, I was too busy tasting the insides of my stomach to notice.

"It's okay, Roza," I heard Dimitri murmur. I felt his hands gather my hair away from my face while I kept puking my guts out.

At the end, I saw a flash of red, momentarily freaked out that it was blood, and then went through a whole new round of puking. By the time I finished for good, I was trembling and on the edge of dehydration. Dimitri left and came back with some water. He helped my brush my teeth first - however, it was done out in the kitchen while he tried to get rid of the smell in the bathroom.

When my mouth felt clean, I sat down on the couch and drank the water evenly. I didn't want to drink too little and suffer dehydration, but at the same time, too much water would send me flying back into the bathroom.

I was starting to feel normal when Dimitri joined me on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, yanking the hair tie out of his hair and using it to pull mine back.

"Better," I admitted. I grabbed his hands while they finished tying my hair back and rested on the top of them when they slid down my arms. With one arm around me, Dimitri shifted closer so I could lean into him but still sit up straight.

"You might want to go check this out," Dimitri muttered, his chin resting on my head.

"I think I have it figured out. I just have to check with Lissa tomorrow." I lapsed into silence and then whispered a "Thank you, Dimitri" so softly, I was surprised he heard it.

"You're welcome, love," Dimitri whispered back, using a name he'd never used before with me. We spent a few minutes in each other's arms, enjoying the quiet, feeling the comfort and familiarity of the other. Both of us knew we were surprised at what Dimitri had said, and we had fallen into that comfortable silence that was the trademark of our relationship.

The pleasant quiet was interrupted by the rapid pounding on the door that could only belong to a six-year-old. It was followed by some giggling and then a loud hushing noise with an unmistakable Russian accent.

"Here goes nothing," Dimitri muttered, untangling himself from me and pulling me up. He answered the door with our hands neatly intwined.

"Dimka!" Natalya shrieked and threw her arms around him. His hand left mine and he returned the hug.

A long week had just started.

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**Review!**

**So how many of you saw the Spirit Bound cover? :D On a totally unrelated note, I personally think Dimitri lets Rose off too easily. ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the late update. My VA roleplay site has eaten up a lot of my time. :) Which explains why this is so short.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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I could feel my eyes drying out from having stared at the computer screen for too long. I rolled my head around a couple of times to try to stretch out the stiffness. I could feel my upper thighs cramping up. I vaguely remembered that the last time I stood up had been hours ago.

Sighing, I kept scrolling through the color schemes on the Web site, purples and blues and reds and greens swimming before my eyes, blurring together.

"You okay?" Lissa asked, looking over the top of her own laptop. I started massaging my temples.

"If I could kill that bitch," I replied, finding my pencil blindly and jotting a note down in the notebook next to me.

"I'm sure whatever the Queen is having you do is very important," Lissa said. If she only knew that I was finalizing the color scheme for her birthday party this Friday - the ball I'd forgotten about a couple of days ago in the field - and I just shook my head, mostly to myself.

"Who are you and why have you impersonated my mother?" I deadpanned. I hoped that my face was composed when I flinched on the inside. I'd done some serious injuries to Janine, and she had been coming in and out of grogginess from the tons of painkillers they were loading her up on.

Lissa reached over and playfully swatted my over the head.

"What?" I asked, letting a small giggle out.

"C'mon," Lissa said, closing her laptop. "I've got a theory about something that doubles as your computer break."

I shut the laptop carefully. Dimitri had let me borrow it for the day on the condition that I didn't try to hack into his account since while I may be in the know about why he was keeping some secrets from me, I didn't get to know everything right away.

She held out her hand and lead me over to the giant window seat. It was big enough to hold the two of us, and when I sat down, I pulled my knees up to me. I tried swallowing down the feeling of wanting to look at my lunch again.

Lissa stared out at her bedroom and made her thoughts jumbled in an attempt to keep me out of her head.

"What?" I repeated, more forcefully this time.

"I've heard from several different people..." Lissa began, and her thoughts slipped. I knew she wanted to talk to me about my weird, pregnancy-like symptoms.

"That it seems like I'm pregnant, too?" I guessed, pretending to be randomly shooting in the dark.

"Yeah," Lissa said. The shock only lasted a second before she realized that the bond had given her away.

I shrugged. "I thought about it last night when my face was in the toilet and I slipped inside your body by accident. I'm assuming that since your emotions are so strong, the bond is overloaded and feeding your actual emtions into me so much that I am experiencing what you're experiencing without having to be inside of your head."

"Okay," Lissa laughed. "Could you speak English this time?"

"Your hormones are raging like crazy and I get to feel them because of the bond!" I said loudly and slowly, like I was speaking to a first grader.

"Thank you!" Lissa replied, talking exactly like I just had spoken.

"Your welcome!" I shouted back.

"Why are we yelling like this?" Christian asked, walking into the bedroom. Looking at Christian's disheveled, wind-bitten state, partially untucked shirt included, Lissa and I fell over laughing hysterically.

"Don't tell me you're catching her hormones, Hathaway." He tossed his briefcase on the bed, narrowly missing the two expensive laptops.

"That joke is closer to the truth than you may realize," I shot back. Suddenly, there was a huge crash. Body tensing, my hand reached for my stake in my coat.

"Stay here," I muttered. Tiptoeing across the room and easing the door open, I visibly flinched when there was another crash. At this point, I was sure it wasn't a Strigoi, since they'd normally be a lot quieter about the whole thing.

Easing into the living room, I was met with a very drunk Adrian.

"Put tha' da'n thi' away," Adrian slurred. I felt Christian come up behind me. I slipped my stake inside my coat, but kept my hand on it.

"Where are your guardians?" I asked roughly. I saw Fya and Jeremy sneak up behind Adrian and grab him by the arms, pinning him up against the wall. A flower pot was on the balcony, smashed, the glass door cracked. The would explain the two crashes.

"Ditched 'em," Adrian said. "They're pro'ly lookin' fo' me righ' 'bou now."

"Paging Belikov," I muttered into my guardians communications unit.

"Belikov," Dimitri repeated.

"I've got word of a runaway Moroi and currently have said Moroi in custody as we speak. Said Moroi is very drunk."

"Location?"

"Living quarters, East Wing, floor seven, apartment sixteen."

"Be there in two." I heard the familiar click of Dimitri's comms unit turning off. I clicked mine off as well, making sure I still kept an ear out for my name in the static of guardians talking back and forth.

"Your guardians are on their way, Ivashkov," I said, completely in business-mode. "What are you doing here, drunk at six in the evening?"

"You know, Rose, we rea'y needta have a tal' on alc'ol an' wha' i' doesta a perso' a' cer'ain ti'es of tha day." Adrian was somehow so wasted, the way his head was lolling about, his eyes barely being able to focus on me, it scared me a little.

Actually, scratch that. I scared the hell out of me. Nobody should ever be that drunk.

Sure enough, two minutes later, my nerves shot from seeing Adrian in such a state and unable to get a proper answer out of him, Dimitri, like my White Knight disguised as a fellow guardian, burst through the doors, Adrian's full-time guardian behind him.

"Hey," Dimitri muttered as he slipped past me, squeezing my hand along the way. "He's really wasted."

"No kidding," I murmured.

"What's going on?" Lissa asked Christian softly, padding up next to me.

"Adrian climbed seven stories, broke your favorite flower pot, and is completely drunk out of his mind," Christian replied. "Nothing big."

Dimitri had Adrian thrown over his shoulder, Adrian's full-time guardian leading the way out of the room.

"Oh, and Rose," Adrian called out, his eyelids fluttering. "Jus' re'ember tha' I know 'bou Lissa be'omin' quee' afta my aun' dies. Youna the ownla one."

"WHAT?!" Lissa cried, turning on me.

Guess the cat was out of the bag on this one.

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	14. Chapter 14

**A shout-out to Trans-Siberian Orchestra for *finally* coming out with their fifth album, _Night Castle_, and it being awesome enough to put on my writing playlist. And to Muse, for their new album as well, _The Resistance_.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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"No, Simon, to your left!" Christian shouted. I glanced up at him. Sweat trickled down his face. He looked like a madman.

"Here?" Simon asked.

Christian just groaned in response.

"It's fine!" I called out. I stood up and slid the chair back under the table I had taken it from. My boots clacked against the wood ballroom floor.

"You should get some sleep," I told Christian softly. "It's nearly one in the morning."

"I'll sleep later." Christian shook his head, but then regarded me. "You look good, by the way."

I toyed with the gold chain around my neck. Lissa had dismissed me for the day because she was that disgusted with me for not telling her about Tatiana's plans, so I got to wear normal, non-guardian clothing.

"Thanks," I mumbled, looking at the ground and my dark-wash skinny jeans. Christian and I had grown closer over the years, and compliments were still rare from him. Well, towards me at least. Lissa got more than her fair share.

Christian opened his mouth to yell at more guardians when I cut him off, suddenly remembering what I had said earlier.

"Five minutes, Ozera, until I'm kicking you out. And I'm sure my minions would be more than happy to help me in doing so," I said, giving him a wry smile.

"We will do whatever Guardian Belikov needs," Fya said, her voice dripping heavily with sarcasm as she walked by us. She held one of the blue-and-purple balloon arches with one hand.

"Fya!" I cried, playfully slapping her with the binder resting on my hip. "I'm not married yet!"

"Jesus, I'm just practicing," Fya said, feigning a tone of mock defensiveness. "So when's the wedding?" After asking her question, Fya grabbed my left hand with her own free hand.

"Sometime in the summer. We've been to busy lately to plan anything," I said. I bit my lip when I heard Fya's trademark jealousy sigh.

"It is a beautiful ring," Christian murmured.

"Mmmm," Fya agreed.

It really was beautiful - Dimitri had done a great job of picking out a ring. The gold band was thick enough to hold tiny, half-carat, green emeralds; the color of the emeralds matched the color of the velvet box that had held the ring when Dimitri first gave it to me. The diamond itself was a perfect cut diamond - luck of the draw, the guy who did the appraisal said - and nearly four carats big. It didn't feel or look like a rock, but it definitely was not a tiny, invisible diamond. It was too expensive for Dimitri to have bought - I'd done the checkbook and bills the other day, and no money had been taken out of either account in weeks. We'd been getting our pay in cash lately.

The sweet and tender moment was interrupted by the grand entrance of Tatiana and her fucking entourage.

"It's absolutely lovely!" Tatiana gushed, her sweetness screaming fake. "Isn't it, Jacob?"

Her guardian replied automatically. "It is, Your Majesty."

"Oh, you're so nice and modest! It's going to shock Vasilisa!" I tensed at Lissa's full name. Tatiana only used Lissa's full name when her middle name suddenly spelled trouble.

"What do you want, Your Majesty?" Fya asked flatly, dropping my hand. She shifted the balloon arch to her other hand.

"To talk with Rosemarie, of course," Tatiana said like we were idiots for asking.

"Well then." Fya attempted a smile, but it looked like a warped grimace. "I'll be attempting the fine art of wrangling this damn balloon arch into doing my bidding." Fya strode off, ignoring the Queen. Ever since Tatiana publicly humiliated Fya in front of everyone about her blood whore mother and dead-beat father at the Winter Ball a month ago, Fya hated the Queen. I secretly guess that she was counting down the days to Lissa's coronation.

Tatiana's lips quirked, reminding me of Professor Umbridge from the_ Harry Potter_ series. (I was forced to read all seven books for a class on _Harry Potter_ and the series' effect on modern society.) I half expected her to shout things about maintaining order when she opened her mouth to speak again.

"Rosemarie?" She touched my arm lightly, but the underlying message got across: come with me. Now.

I followed her to a corner away from everyone else. I saw Christian's shouting and perspiration pick right back up.

"I can safely assume you haven't seen your mother since you attacked her?" Tatiana asked me quietly.

I bit my tongue and resisted the urge to roll a snappy comment that was playing with my nerves.

"No, Your Majesty," I said.

"Drop the title," Tatiana said suddenly, her lips quirking again. I stared straight at her, trying to figure her out. She was acting very jumpy and uncharacteristic. Her usual frown was now a shadow over her thin, straight-lined, tight lips.

"As I was saying," Tatiana said. "I can assume you then don't know about how Janine had been convinced to press charges?"

"No," I replied bluntly.

"Then I can assume that you will be happy to know that I have convinced her to another route?"

"Yes."

What the hell was Tatiana talking about? I could barely convince my mother that Dimitri and I were really in love and that he'd never hurt me or that I really was ready to graduate school, and I had won an award for most persuasive arguer on my high school's debate team back when Lissa and I were living in Oregon. I doubted there were few people able to convince my mother better than me. Janine Hathaway was not easily swayed.

"Good, then. I'm sorry I didn't let you know sooner. It's just, with a coronation to plan and all, I haven't had much free time. Similar to planning a wedding," Tatiana added, reaching for my left hand. She plucked the ring off my finger, threw it up in the air, watched it glint as it caught the dim light overhead, and caught it, her lips quirking for a third time.

"I wouldn't get too involved in life around here, Rosemarie," Tatiana said, handing my ring back to me. She was silent for a moment and I couldn't say anything because I didn't have the power and authority and reason to start up a conversation with her.

"Your mother only requested one thing of your trial, which I have already told you. It is going to happen now, just to let you know." Tatiana paused. "You will be given three options at your trial on Monday, and you will be allowed to pick one of them. As soon as you make your decision, it will be effective immeadiately. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, I understand you," I said quietly.

"Good girl." Tatiana pinched my cheek in a grandmotherly way and started to walk away. When she reached the door she had come through, her entourage surrounding her, she called back to me. I was still standing frozen in the back corner.

"Rosemarie, remember what I said about not getting too involved in life here. And don't get too comfortable with your little lover-boy." I cringed at the name, pissed off at what she really meant. "I doubt you'll be seeing much of him after Monday."

She left and I ran to a nearby garbage can filled with paper and balloon scraps, watching my dinner come the other way. When I stood up and wiped my mouth with an untouched paper scrap, I felt Christian next to me, his stance comforting.

"Liss?" He asked worriedly.

I nodded. "You should probably go. She's been sitting in the bathroom all day. It's been rough."

"Sorry you've had to deal with the fallout, too," Christian said softly. He squeezed my shoulder and left, his feet nearly dragging behind him.

"You need to take a cue from Ozera." Fya tossed some unraveled string in the garbage behind me, wrinkling her nose.

"I'm about to. You can take over?" I asked, clutching my stomach. It had been a hard day for Lissa, but it was harder on me - I'd been supervising the setting up of the ballroom. That translated into being on my feet all day, running back and forth between the ballroom and bathroom.

"What am I, a rock?" Fya smiled and gave me a tender, one-armed hug. "Go get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. And, f-y-i, your dress is in my room."

"You have a room?" I asked.

"Where else do I store my clothes, possessions, and get some sleep? There's a reason Lissa and Christian bought a five-bedroom apartment in the first place. They didn't plan on having four kids."

"But-"

"Three kids, Rose, three kids. If I recall correctly, the third kid is named after you. I think the alternate name is Dimitri," Fya added, smiling. "Now go. Before I gather my minions to kick you out!"

"Don't steal my lines!" I retorted playfully, grabbing my phone and bag off the table I'd dropped them off on earlier.

"Good, you're still barely awake." Fya pushed me towards the doors, where I headed back off to the Shoe Box to try to get some sleep.

The alarm came too early for my liking. I groaned and blindly shut it off, rolling over. My arm hit something hard.

"Good morning to you, too," Dimitri joked, moving my arm.

"Shut up." I waved my arm, most likely hitting him in the face.

"I guess I'm doing coffee this morning." I felt the bed rise as he got up. I grunted in response.

"I'm up, I'm up." I threw back the covers and yawned, grabbing his hand.

"When did you get in last night?" Dimitri asked. I stumbled after him into the kitchen. He took the coffee beans I had ground up the other day out of the freezer while I splashed cold water on my face in the sink to wake up.

"One, I think," I muttered. I shut the water off and grabbed a paper towel, wiping my face clean. I blinked a few times and yawned again.

"Good luck staying awake."

"Ever heard of caffeine, Comrade?" I teased, ruffling my hair.

"Not funny and you know it," Dimitri said gruffly. He kissed the top of my head. I stretched my arms above me, going for a third yawn.

I hopped up onto the counter next to him and just sat there, watching him work. Even at six in the morning, he bustled around dutifully, that look of pure concentration on his face. The first time I had seen it was when I had to clean the campus church after I was required to do community service back in my senior year. Dimitri had volunteered to help as a way of spending more time with me, even if it meant doing something mundane as wiping wooden church pews.

The coffee was starting to drip when he finally looked up at me.

"Was that interesting?" Dimitri asked, raising an eyebrow.

"To me, yes," I replied, leaning forward and smiling a little bit.

Dimitri leaned against the counter, his arms on either side of me. He pressed his forehead against mine, softly pushing mine back to rest against the cabinets behind me.

"I love you. I hope you know that." Dimitri looked at me, a serious expression on his face. His eyes held a slight hint of being worried about my reply.

"And I hope you know that I love you even more," I murmured. I brushed my lips against his.

"Aw, how sweet. The two lovebirds are at it again." Natalya's feet slapped against the cold floor. "Now where's the stash." Is was more demanding than anything else.

Dimitri tapped one of the bottom cabinets with his foot and pulled my off the counter in one fluid motion.

"I don't think you'll get compliments from your co-workers if you got to work dressed like that," Dimitri whispered in my ear.

"You're right," I said. I looked down. I had taken off my shoes and jewelry, letting my hair down before I crashed. I was still wearing yesterday's socks, too.

"Go. I'll have the coffee ready after you get dressed." He kissed my forehead before letting go of my waist.

I came back out in sweatpants and a tight tank top, a sweatshirt thrown over it. My hair was in a bun, sneakers laced up tight on my feet. Dimitri set two travel mugs on the counter and turned to look at me.

"So I'll see you tonight?" I asked lightly.

"Just you wait," Dimitri growled, crushing me to him in a passionate kiss. I pulled away after a few minutes, breathless.

"I think I can wait. Love you," I said, a teasing smile on my face.

"Love you, too."

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**Review!**

**I was going to do this heavy talk between Natalya and Rose, but the talk can wait. :) I think it'll fit better later in the story. Besides, there's currently less than ten minutes until November and NaNoWriMo.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I really should be working on my novel, but my muses are yelling at me to get this chapter done, 'cause the drama at the end is currently killing me and I really want more than two reviews. I know you people are reading!!!!**

**-rant over-**

**Psssst, it's a long chapter!**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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Natalya ended up dragging along Peter to Lissa's after Dimitri and I left. She knew where Lissa and Christian lived at, so finding me wasn't a problem.

When I first got there too early in the morning for my liking, Lissa greeted me with a glare and cold indifference as usual. Through the bond, though, I felt pain. Most of it was her body being really sore from little sleep, but a small amount was for me. I felt her aches, too, and it was quite annoying - I had one of the most comfortable beds I'd ever slept on, but Lissa didn't. I'd have to buy her a mattress pad or two at some point.

Christian, however, greeted me loudly. It was impossible to think he had been dead on his feet five hours ago. Eyeing him suspiciously, I didn't even attempt to match his enthusiasm. It was too bright and cheery at such an early hour.

Most of the day was spent watching Lissa get ready and both of us running to the bathroom. Of course, since the prepping was in her room, I was the one who was threatening to spill caffiene and a bagel Christian had lovingly shoved into my hand.

Lissa's dress, however much she claimed to be indifferent towards me, thus affecting our relationship and how I viewed her, was beautiful. It was a deep emerald green color that vaguely reminded me of Kiera Knightley's evening dress in Atonement, a movie I had seen during our dorm's Monday Movie Mashes. The alliteration was ridiculous, as were some of the movies, but the memories were a lot of fun. It was a "girls only" event, so the boyfriends who also lived on campus were forced to sit outside the lounge door and listen to us giggle and gossip in hushed tones. While completely not my idea of a good way to spend two hours every Monday night, Lissa only had to drag me to the first few weeks before I started to like it.

Lissa spent nearly an hour doing her make up. Being her near guardian, I had to stand in the doorway of the bathroom while she applied so much crap to her face, only to look as though she put some concealer on a few zits. I knew it would take her twice as long later to wash it all off, but I didn't say anything because this was her birthday party that the Queen was throwing for her and she happened to be excited about the whole idea.

She gave me the boot at six-thirty - we had to bee there at seven, which didn't include walking time - to go get ready. Following the directions Fya had so lovingly drawn up for me, I found her room and slipped in.

It was a cool room, I had to give her that much. It had a Caribbean feel to it - Fya had been given free reign, apparently, to do as she pleased - and it was a completely difference from the sleek look of my black-and-white theme going on in my own room. The walls were painted a blue that reminded me of the water we swam in during our thank-God-we're-done trip a bunch of my friends and I took after graduation. Beige nets were strung up on the wall with shells and pictures hidden underneath. A full-sized bed with light blue and white sheets sat diagnol to the corner opposite the door. A white dresser and white desk sat on opposite walls to the bed. White closet doors sat half open revealing guardian clothes and few leisurely outfits.

The lights were on low and Fya sat at her desk, tapping away at her MacBook Air. Beaded glasses sat on her nose. When I knocked, she looked up at me and took her glasses off. She closed her laptop.

"Hey, Rose, come on in," she said, spinning a little in her desk chair. I closed the door softly behind me.

"Nice room," I commented.

"Thanks. You want to see the dress?" Fya had asked me my size and went ahead and ordered my dress. I didn't know what it looked like at all.

"Sure," I replied, sitting on the edge of the bed as Fya went over and grabbed a black dress bag out of the closet. The BCBG label was cut in half by a zipper.

"You didn't spend too much-" I started to say.

"No, don't worry about it. I figured you might need something to satisfy you while Lissa gets all the attention, especially with what's been going on lately," Fya explained as she opened the bag. I could see it perfectly, despite the little amount of light.

"It's beautiful," I murmured as I ran a hand over the dress.

"It's BCBG Max Azria," Fya said. "Tonal stripes and crinkled chiffon are the two big contenders here. Adjustable Empire waist, which is good because you may want to be able to breathe later. Floor length, so heels are required. It's originally a bridesmaid dress, but at this point, whatever. I wanted to go classy and elegant without stealing the spotlight from Lissa." She paused. "Any questions?"

"None," I choked out. I stood up and hugged her. She seemed to stiffen from the sudden display of emotion. "Thank you so much."

"No problem," Fya said softly as she relaxed.

I slipped into the dress and then let Fya flutter about me. My feet suddenly were wearing understated, simple black heels with close to three inches on them. I knew my feet were going to kill me by the end of the night.

I let her do soft, small curls to my hair, but drew the line on make up. I hated the stuff and a part of me knew that I would hate myself later when I had to wipe my face off when all I really would want to do is sleep. Fya didn't seem the least bit disappointed in my lack of a feminine side.

I checked my e-mail while she got herself ready (somehow I got finished in ten minutes). Her dress, also BCBG, was a little red piece with tiny bits of black lace fringe on the bottom, paired with, again, simple and understated black heels. She pulled her hair back from her face, what little she had, and threw on some lip gloss before turning to look at me.

"You look good," I said. "Like you're about to go party."

"That's what I wanted to hear." Fya opened the door, and I followed her out. We half-stumbled to the living room, laughing hysterically, while we worked on the walking-in-heels situation our balance and coordination was not used to. Standing around in shoes that resembled running shoes does not prepare you for three-inch heels.

"What's so funny?" Christian asked, looking at us nervously. It was obvious his tux was rented from somewhere.

"You don't find guardians in heels funny anymore? What happened to your humor, Ozera?" Fya asked, leaning into me before standing straight. Lissa didn't even look at us.

"My sense of humor disappeared when I came here," Christian growled playfully. His hand found Lissa's, and they left with us to assume to follow them.

"Should we stalk them?" Fya asked, watching as they left.

"We should. We should also videotape ourselves and laugh our asses off watching ourselves later." I saw Eddie and Jeremy round the corner.

"But our kids might see it," Fya whined as the guys came up behind us.

"Who says we're having kids?" I laughed, trying to pass it off as a joke. But honestly, I felt disheartened on the inside. I knew I was lucky to have someone as wonderful as Dimitri loving me, but it was either love or kids for most dhampir women. Somehow, my mother had managed to get both when she met my father. The lucky bitch.

"True, Belikov, true," Fya said. I pushed her into the wall lightly and took off for the door.

"Nice dress," Eddie said as the four of us walked to the ballroom building. Seriously. The Court was so big, it had an entire building devoted to ballrooms.

"Thanks. I know it must have cost Fya hundreds of dollars," I admitted.

"Well, if Sofya feels like spending her lifetime salary on your dress for her charge's twenty-sixth birthday party, it's her fault she'll be living in a box when she's eighty," Eddie joked, poking fun at our small income.

I laughed and looked behind me. Fya was leaning into Jeremy in a totally non-platonic way, and I turned back around.

"Yes, it will be her fault, won't it?" I mused.

Eddie shrugged, his black tie scrunching up. "Belikov's going to die when he sees you, Rose," Eddie muttered.

"Thanks," I said, blushing at the compliment. Eddie rarely paid me any more compliments ever since we graduated the Academy and it suddenly became rude to say them.

When we got the ballroom, classical music was spilling out of the doors. The lights were on low, and the decorations I had slaved over yesterday looked really, really good. Lissa was smiling and holding onto Christian's arm and being a very good Royal socialite. My group was one of the last to arrive, and we just snuck in along the sides. Fya and Jeremy took off, however, when Fya saw a guardian she'd been meaning to talk to (her words, not mine) and Eddie and I got our table assignments placards and sat down. Christian was in charge of assigning everyone to tables wedding-style, and I had seen the list the day before. All of our fellow St. Vladimir's alumni were seated at the same table for the most part, so good times were going to ensue.

"Hey, Eddie, you'll be okay by yourself, right?" I asked suddenly.

"Go ahead. I know you're dying to see him. I'll just sit here by myself and attempt to fathom the thought of drinking wine instead of something as Neanderthal as beer." Eddie waved his hand. I gave him a quick hug before crossing the room to the back.

"Little dhampir, it's good to see you walking around," Adrian noted when I came up to him and Dimitri.

"Don't you have some Moroi girl to go vainly seduce?" I snapped, crossing my arms.

"Fine, fine, going," Adrian said, his hands up in the air. He wasn't drunk yet. "But my aunt wants you to make the announcement later, so be prepared." Adrian left in the direction of the doors, most likely to the bar downstairs.

"Hey," I said, pulling Dimitri in for a kiss.

"You look-" Dimitri paused as he pulled away and looked me up and down.

"Mm?" I locked my arms behind his neck.

"Indescribable," Dimitri murmured.

"Well that's always a good thing," I whispered, kissing him again. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Dimitri replied. He kissed me back softly.

A microphone up on the makeshift stage screeched as Adrian tapped it. He came back from his little trip to Somewhereville.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen," Adrian said as the music died down. "On behalf of Her Majesty, the Royal Court and all those who helped to prepare this evening, I say, congratulations to Vasilisa Dragomir and her future accomplishments." Adrian winked, and I was pretty sure it was at me.

"Now, we do have one announcement to make, but before we get to the news, I think food is in order, correct?" Adrian smiled as a couple of people joked in agreement. "Please, sit. If you haven't done so already, please take your table placard and find a seat. Dinner will be served in a few minutes."

"What announcement?" Dimitri asked as we wove our way back to the table. Christian had actually remembered something and put Dimitri and I at the same table. Couples were automatically sat at the same table, as were families, but since Dimitri and I were only engaged and didn't have the same last name (yet), Christian had to purposely seat us together.

"You'll find out later," I said, cringing on the inside when I realized what a mess I was suddenly in.

"Belikov," Eddie acknowledged as we sat down.

"Castile," Dimitri replied, a small wry smile on his face.

Dinner was a loud and hysterical affair. And it would be if you sat Mia, Eddie, Christian (who decided to let Lissa brave the waters of other Royals by herself), Adrian, and me at the same table with most of our teenage years and grudges behind us. Dimitri got through it with his relaxed stoic face on (as opposed to his usual stoic face on when he was on regular duty) and a few reassurance from me. At one point, after the giant birthday cake was rolled out, fawned over, cut up, and passed out, Eddie casually flicked a piece of white cream at Christian's tie, permanently smudging it with a little white spot in the middle.

The music started back up after the musicians ate and retuned their instruments. I pulled Dimitri to the floor just for a little bit to dance. It was the only real alone time we would get all day.

"You seem content," Dimitri noted. I was pressed up against him, my arms around his waist. His fingers dangerously toyed with the back of my dress, his arms around my shoulders.

"You're here," I said, and then frowned. "That was cheesy."

"Only a little bit," Dimitri replied softly. We were swaying only a little bit to the music. It felt like a lullaby.

"What's Natalya doing?" I asked. I hadn't talked to her all day since she only came over for an hour; it happened to be the same hour I watched Lissa from the bathroom doorway.

"I think she's having a talk with Peter about us. He doesn't seem to fully grasp that you're going to be his aunt someday." Dimitri's arms tightened around me.

"Someday soon, I hope," I whispered.

"It will be soon," Dimitri said, trying to comfort me. He rested his chin on my head.

I stayed silent. I didn't know what to do with this piece of reassurance from him, but I kept it tucked away.

I felt Dimitri bury his face in my hair and inhale deeply, as if to memorize my scent.

"No matter what, you'll always be my Roza," Dimitri breathed. It was so quiet, I barely heard him.

"And no one else's," I finished for him. He said that a lot whenever we had an extremely rare moment. It was just one of those moments where I could almost literally taste my love for him in the air.

It lasted for a few seconds before Tatiana came up to the microphone. She shushed the violinists before calling for attention. I turned around and used Dimitri as a makeshift wall to lean on. His arms snaked around my waist instinctively.

"I hope everyone is enjoying themselves," Tatiana started, a fake smile on her face. Her I'm-causing-trouble smile.

People nodded in response.

"I must commend Mr. Ozera for the lovely toast he gave earlier." There was light applause. "As my nephew said before, we have a very special announcement regarding the one and only, Vasilisa Dragomir. And I think it would be more special for the Princess to hear it from her long-time friend, Rosemarie Hathaway. Rosemarie?" Tatiana asked, looking straight at me.

Dimitri's arms fell away from me as I walked forward. I knew he knew something wasn't right, but I kept my mouth shut and walked up to Tatiana.

"Don't screw this up. Remember, Monday, three choices. Your mother will be there, as will most Royals here." Tatiana had her hand over the microphone so no one could hear.

"Got it," I replied.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Guardian Rosemarie Hathaway." Tatiana gave a tiny bow before leaving me.

"Here goes," I said, and I saw my friends giggling in the back at my obvious display of nerves. "Due to an unfortunate slip up on Mr. Ivashkov's part-" I glared at him mildly before returning to my guardian mask. He smiled in response. "Princess Dragomir already knows of the news, so the surprise in it is gone. Everyone else, however may find it a surprise themselves.

"Her Majesty, Queen Tatiana Ivashkov, has chosen to hand the throne down to Princess Dragomir." I paused a collective gasp ran through the audience. I watched as Dimitri's eyes hardened, and I could hear his accusations already.

"As you all know," I said, pushing on, "The current Ruler, when he or she feels is ready to step down, has to name an heir of another Royal family to take the throne. In this case, I can only assume Her Majesty decided to name Vasilisa as her heir due to her lineage, current family and work situation, and the fact that she is, indeed, the last Dragomir left.

"Being a long time friend - no, a long time best friend - of the Queen-to-be, I know her inside and out. There is no doubt in my mind that she will rule fairly, justly, and correctly, and create new, changing reforms. There is discussion about her radical ideas the Moroi world needs, and I'm sure we will all debate about it to our deaths. I am confident Vasilisa Dragomir will help bring about what could most likely be, the second Golden Age for the Moroi world. Thank you," I finished. I stepped down from the stage and pushed my way through people begging me to answer questions. I didn't stop until I reached Dimitri. His jaw was set in an all too familiar way I didn't like.

"I can explain-" I started, not even realizing that I used the world's biggest cliche.

"Don't." Dimitri's tone was now harsh and cold. "You lied to me, even after everything we went through. Any other big secrets that you've been keeping?" With one final muttering of my being a hypocrite, he stalked off, leaving me in a sea of Moroi on the dance floor.

I left the ballroom, ignored my friends when they asked me what was up with Dimitri, and didn't start crying until I got to Fya's room to pick up my clothes from earlier.

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**Review!**

**Ou, Dimitri's pissed at Rose now. Honestly, I was waiting for the two of them to have another bump in the road. Their relationship has been too perfect lately.**

**We get to see what Rose's trial next chapter! Excitement on my end!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A shout-out to the reviewer who pointed out my plot issue.**

**And another 3k-er chapter!**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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I changed in a blind fury, throwing my clothes on and leaving my dress behind in two minutes flat before setting out after Dimitri.

I forced myself to stop the tears and slapped my face a few times to warm it up from the cold and tears freezing on it. I was still struggling with my coat when I got to the door of the complex and just decided against even putting it on. I was about to go up the stairs when I saw Dimitri coming down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dimitri didn't run around in circles with uncomfortable topics.

"Tatiana-" I started, and then frowned. "How did you not know?"

"I didn't hear whatever Adrian said that day. I still had my communication unit on, and there was a lot of static going on. It made it hard to hear a rock concert, Rose. I saw you turn your unit system off." Dimitri had his arms crossed and the glare made me shrivel up on the inside. It would've made my mother cringe.

"And I heard you turn yours off," I retorted. Dimitri shook his head.

"I turned it back on after I realized what I'd done. But you wouldn't have heard because yours was still turned off." A few awkward silent moments passed. "You're stalling."

"Tatiana has entrusted a lot of secrets with me lately and she always asks me to keep her secrets confidential, but that time, when she told me about Lissa, there was something in her voice, pleading, I guess, to especially take this one to my grave." I took a deep breath. I was starting to ramble, which was never good.

"So?" Dimitri countered. "There's a big difference between what I have to keep confidential and Lissa's future coronation."

"You never know who could overhear me if I told someone. We don't even know if our neighbor is working for the Strigoi or not. There's a war going on, dammit, if you haven't noticed. One word that the last Dragomir is going to be the next Queen, and the Court's swarmed."

"Oliver doesn't work for the Strigoi. Nobody who is currently on the grounds, except for the criminals who are locked up underground, is a double agent. Extra security. I think we already went over this," Dimitri pointed out. We had, but I still a point myself.

"You're incorrigible," I muttered, storming past him. "Stubborn, too."

I could hear Dimitri swallow back a comment as I started up the stairs. The elevators had broke down earlier in the day, so the stairs were the only option.

Later that night, I was lying in bed and staring at my engagement ring resting next to the picture of Dimitri and me. Dimitri was asleep next to me, the laptop resting on his legs. I probably would have been kicked to the couch, but Natalya and Peter were currently using it until Sunday, so I felt really cold and lonely not sleeping against him.

I glanced at the clock. The red lights blared at me that I was supposed to be asleep hours ago but I couldn't even begin to think about closing my eyes. Needing a change of scenery, I stood up out of bed, moved the laptop to the dresser, and padded out to the living room. Peter was asleep on the couch, a blanket at his feet. Natalya was leaning against the wall, the coffee table pushed in front of the television. When I sat down next to her, she put her book aside.

"What up?" Natalya asked me, wrapping an arm around me in a very mother-like way. I had taught her that saying years ago.

"Dimitri and I got into another fight earlier," I mumbled.

"Ah," Natalya said, her voice taking on a storytelling edge. "Despite everything, you know he loves you to death, no?"

"I guess," I admitted, looking down at my fingers as they played with a loose thread in my pajama pants.

"I do not mean to be all melodramatic and everything when I say that you are the best thing to happen to him, but it is so true." Even though I was wide awake, her accent was a little difficult to understand.

I kept playing with the loose thread.

"Yeva, our grandmother, never really liked the male population, and so she liked to go hard on Dimitri about everything to make sure he was not like the rest of his sub-species. She made him do all of the heavy lifting and dirty work and basically made sure he had it rough while she turned around and lavished me and my sisters in every aspect of comfort she could manage. In American terms, he was Cinderella and everyone else was the evil stepmother's family. While he relied on me and our mother, he never fully trusted us because we never stood up to Yeva. None of us wanted to. Only our father, Ivan, did, but after Dimitri showed a rare display of emotion and landed Ivan in the hospital with several broken bones and drove him away, nobody ever did stand up to her.

"He never had any friends and only two girlfriends during school. He was the top of his class in everything, especially any class dealing with guardian training. Our school started training in sixth grade, and when he got to the secondary campus, he was beyond excited. But Yeva kept home life hard for him, and it only drove him towards pursuing graduation even harder. I remember, in my last year, he cried when it was time to go home for the holidays in late December. It was the only time he ever cried, apparently, and it has always been a tough memory for me to relive.

"Things started to look up for him when he got assigned to a Moroi. He was out of the house not three years before he came back, finding a sliver of comfort in Mother's welcoming arms. It was the time when he lost his assignment, and he was devastated. He took a year off and sulked around the house, trying to figure out who he was and what his purpose was. When news spread that your old school was looking for extra guardians to search for two missing students, he jumped on the chance. And, well, you know the rest of the story."

I stayed silent at the news. It was a lot to handle, but it cleared up my hunch that he had past experiences that drove his thinking of _They come first_ even more. I suddenly felt tired. Natalya spoke again after a few minutes of silence, pulling her arm away from me.

"He told me in letters that he was not at all happy having to give you extra letters. If I can remember correctly, he wrote in the very beginning that he had to mentor the unruly, undisciplined girl that stupidly ran away without any regard for anything. He said that he did not look forward to any of the sessions since he knew your temper and willingness to jump into things quickly. In school, he hated those people because they were a disruption and that meant less learning time."

"But that changed," I continued, finally finding my voice.

"Yes, it did. After he found out about your determination to protect Moroi, a determination that almost beat his, it slightly scared him what you were capable of doing. You are so much like Yeva, and he felt as if he would get hurt if let things get more personal that the entire mentoring thing being just business. Most teachers build friendly relationships with their students, and Dimitri was bent on not letting that happen.

"When it became clear, however, that you were breaking down those walls, he went scrambling to rebuild them. He did not like it one bit that he was an open book to you. He always took pride in his ability to hide his feelings from even the most intuitive of people. It was not until a very expensive phone call during the ski trip your school took did I finally convince him to start letting you in more. Fear had kept him at bay with his feelings towards you, which were so obvious to an outside observer, and I basically told him it was time to toughen up and face that fear. And he did, slowly shedding away that fear of being hurt by a Yeva clone. I may have told you all of this before, but I think in light of recent events, it bears repeating."

I was silent again. After a few minutes, I choked out a thank you to Natalya.

"You are welcome." Natalya looked at me carefully. "Go get some sleep. You looked tired."

Not needing to be told twice, I went straight to bed and attempted to sort through all of the new information.

The weekend wasn't lost between Dimitri and I. We finally had our series of talks I had told him we would eventually have. A lot of confusion was cleared up between us and though our relationship wasn't picture perfect, it never had been. It was better than it had been in a long time, though, so I was starting to become fully happy again. The only downside was that our talks took place at night when we should have been sleeping and the only thing keeping me awake then was caffeine.

Lissa forgave me for not telling her and even admitted to hating Adrian for spilling the secret before her birthday party. On Sunday morning, after I zoned my way out of another church service, I convinced Lissa to come with me to go see my mother. She wasn't too badly bandaged, but a lot of the bruising and bleeding had significantly stopped the few days before that Sunday. And we continued on racing to the bathroom, wishing the morning sickness would hurry up disappear.

Natalya left Sunday afternoon much to Peter's displeasure. He liked spending time with Dimitri and me, and Natalya even told me when she hugged me good-bye that he liked me more than Dimitri. I saw them off to the tarmac while Dimitri went and rounded up Adrian and Lissa to tell them that the both of us were taking the rest of the day off.

Sunday night was when I started to worry and my mood decided to take a visit with Antarctica. I didn't know what my three choices were, nobody seemed allowed to tell me, and I kept remembering Tatiana's eyes gleaming when she told me to not start planning my wedding. By the time I was about to fall asleep, I was fully freaking out. Not even Dimitri could calm me down, and he stayed up the entire night trying to help me calm down. Nothing was working, and by the time I was waiting in the courtroom foyer, I was dead on my feet.

"You don't look too good," Lissa noted, taking a seat next to me. She'd had another visit with the bathroom. I was getting better about suppressing the urge to vomit, which was a skill I needed when I would go in and face Tatiana.

"I didn't sleep at all," I said tiredly. "My nerves were jumping around too much to let my eyes even close."

"I'm sure your options aren't going to be that bad," Lissa said. I felt spirit starting to work through the bond and I shook my head.

"Don't. I can't deal with the darkness right now, Liss." I leaned my head against the cold wall. My hands, clammy and freezing, kept fidgeting.

The doors banged open and a group of guardians was leading a dhampir away. The dhampir seemed to be throwing a fit about something. Lissa and I jumped up, my guardian outfit looking like I had just been sitting in it for hours.

"And he will-" the dhampir shouted, and then his attention was diverted when he saw Lissa and me. "You're that famous bonded pair, yes you are! Hey, let me to tell you something, girls, being shadow-kissed ain't all it's cracked up to be. Eventually you become like me, all mad and crazy. You might even kill someone with a second thought! Yes you will! YES! YOU! WILL!" His voice grew louder as the guardians dragged him away.

Lissa shuddered. "He was insane. Good thing you're not like that."

"Yeah," I said as she and I entered the courtroom with Dimitri behind us.

Up at the front, the prosecutor, not surprisingly my mother in a wheelchair as I'd done a number on her abs and couldn't walk well, turned around a little bit to look at me, the Court's prosecuting lawyer watching her carefully. She didn't let any emotion show as I sat down next to my Court-appointed lawyer. I tried not to look shocked when I saw Jesse Zeklos sitting next to me.

"Like I really want to do this case," Jesse muttered after my surprise wore off. "But I get paid pretty nicely for this one, so I'm sticking it out. Don't make it painful, Hathaway, or I'll turn your case upside down so fast, you won't be able to blink."

Well someone had done well in law school.

Only a handful of Moroi ever became lawyers and they had all kinds of certifications that human lawyers didn't have. They had to go through hell to become a Moroi lawyer and they had to study like crazy for the certification processes, which doubled my surprise on Jesse's position. I hadn't even been aware that he was here on Court grounds. He wasn't at Lissa's event on Friday, which was slightly telling. Jesse was a Zeklos, the third most powerful Royal family, right behind the Lazar and Ivashkov families.

"Glad to see you're supporting my cause too," I shot back quietly. I felt Lissa's immense amazement through the bond, but I didn't turn around. Too many people I knew had shown up for my trial, and I didn't want to look at any of them. Even Adrian had decided to show up, Mia on his arm, another shock in the day's shocking events.

Tatiana called the trial to begin, and the doors in the back closed. I instantly felt my nerves shoot through the roof and touch Mars.

The beginnings were done with when they started calling witnesses up to the stand. I didn't remember any of it. At one point, after I had filled up three pages of paper Jesse had given to doodle on since I "looked extremely nervous", I noticed I was literally wringing my hands. I grabbed the pen off the wood table and kept my hands busy with that while I felt Tatiana keeping an eye on my every move.

I didn't snap back into reality until Tatiana called a recess so she could come up with a verdict. Jesse sat down next to me, the resentment from earlier suddenly gone.

"I think I have this one in the bag," Jesse noted. I nodded before I fled from the room and into the bathroom. The nauseous feeling this time had nothing to do with Lissa's morning sickness.

I sat down next to Jesse when Tatiana reemerged from wherever she went - I was sure both she and Adrian had a gene that let them disappear in thin air - and sat at her seat again. She didn't call the recess to end, but just shuffled papers around in front of her.

"Good luck, Rose," Jesse said, looking at me for the first time.

"Thanks, but I think it's useless at this point." Jesse was about to speak when Tatiana decided to end her shuffling game and called the recess over. If it were possible, my nerves got even jumpier.

"Ladies and gentlemen, after further deliberation, I have ruled that Miss Hathaway herself will be allowed to choose her punishment from the three I am about to present her."

The bitch. She made it look like she just came up with the idea. I saw my mother smirk slightly out of the corner of my eye.

"You get one choice only, Miss Hathaway, and it will be effective immeadiately, understood?"

I nodded. Satisfied, she leaned back in her seat a little bit and called out the options as if she were talking and checking her nails.

"Your first option is to be reassigned to a Moroi outside the Court. This particular Moroi is not a Royal and currently has no real guardians protecting him. He does not particularly like the Court, so any family and friends you have here will rarely see you. He likes to split his time between Russia and the rest of the world. Understood?"

I nodded.

"Your second option is a behavioral rehabilitation program. It is in a facility far from the Court and visits here will be very infrequent. You will have some breaks in which travel back here is possible, but otherwise, you will be confined to the facility. Your term there will last for eighteen months. Understood?"

I felt like she was hinting at something, so I just nodded again.

"Your third option is to be arrested and serve a sentence of sixteen years minimum. I doubt you will take this option, but it will be your closest way to staying here at the Court. Understood?"

I nodded a fourth time, feeling like my head was about to roll off my head.

"You have one minute to deliberate with your attorney before I ask for your decision. Go."

Jesse and I turned towards each other and I burst out with "No way in hell am I going with the third option."

"I know you wouldn't." Jesse's voice was hushed like mine. I felt Dimitri staring at me and I just swallowed back the urge to turn around and look at him.

"So what do you think?" I asked.

"Do you really want to travel? I know how you are with the ghosts and everything." Gossip about my seeing ghosts had been a quiet topic after my airplane incident where they swarmed me when we touched ground that didn't have wards up. Since the Court was heavily warded for a one hundred mile radius around the Court, ghosts hadn't been an issue in years.

"No," I said bluntly.

"Go with the second option. It's the quickest way back to your normal life and Belikov." Jesse's voice was a whisper when he said Dimitri's name and I knew he was jealous of him to an extent.

"Okay," I agreed, turning back towards Tatiana.

"Miss Hathaway? Your decision?" The Queen asked after she noticed me sitting there, ready and waiting for her. I stood up and tried to bring some semblance of calmness to my voice.

"Your Majesty, I have decided to go with the second option, the rehabilitation program."

Tatiana's mouth jerked upwards for a split second and her eyes gleamed. I suddenly got a nasty feeling about my choice.

"Very well. Since it is effective immeadiately, the plane for Saint Vladimir's Academy leaves in twenty minutes. I would pack my things quickly, Miss Hathaway, if I were you."

And with that Tatiana, called the trial to a close.

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**And next chapter: the very first chapter I wrote of this story. 16 looooong chapters later, and I get to finally put it up. Yay for me!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Awwww, you all want Dimitri and Rose to get married. I should feel evil, but I don't. :)**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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"Wait, what?!" I cried incredulously.

"You heard me, Miss Hathaway. The plane leaves in nineteen minutes whether or not you want to go. I suggest you get moving." Tatiana started her shuffling game again.

"You can't do that," I said accusingly. Tatiana raised her eyebrows at me.

"Can't I? I just did." Tatiana looked back down at her papers.

"Rose, just let it go. It's only eighteen months." Jesse grabbed my arm and he seemed a little rocked by the sudden turn of events, too.

I felt anger bubbling up inside of me and I desperately wished I could throw back a witty, biting comment, but I knew it was going to get me in even more trouble. Instead, I stayed silent. I glanced at my mother, being pushed out of the courtroom. I had a funny feeling that she had some idea of what just happened, and I was suddenly so drained that I didn't even think about getting involved with her.

"Fine," I muttered and stalked away from Jesse into Dimitri's arms. He lead me away to go pack with what little time I had left while I fought back tears. Through the bond, Lissa felt nothing but sympathy and sorrow for me and she let me know she would go get Christian and Eddie and Fya so they could see me off, too.

"This isn't fair," I said, throwing clothes into the suitcase that sat open on the bed. Dimitri was sitting next to it and he was attempting to fold my clothes a little bit better than the crumpled mess I was throwing them into. "It just isn't fair."

"You did commit a crime," Dimitri pointed out.

"Don't even get me started on why I did it. Because we both know where that will go," I hissed, throwing a shirt into the suitcase and leaning close into him. I pulled away and he picked up the shirt I had just put in.

"I'll miss you," Dimitri offered, changing the subject.

"I'll miss you, too," I said, smiling for a brief second before throwing another shirt in the pile. The frown came back and I grabbed the second suitcase out of the closet. I swung it up on the bed and started filling it with non-guardian items. It was smaller than the first suitcase.

We lapsed into the comfortable silence I considered to be the staple of our relationship. It was starting to be more frequent, especially after the storms cleared out. When I finished, I let out a breath I had been holding and I fell into Dimitri's waiting arms.

"I don't want to go. There are kids there that still know me."

"Rose, it's been seven and half years since you graduated. The seniors there were in the fifth grade when your last year. You may have been in the same school as them, but not the same campus. Believe it or not, you're as much of an unknown legend to them as you will be to their kids. I have a feeling you'll revel in that glory, the same way I did to some extent when I first few weeks I was there myself." Dimitri was playing with a small lock of my hair. I looked up at him, a small grin on my face.

"That sounded like one of your lessons I used to blow off," I noted. Suddenly realizing the time, I stood up and dragged the two suitcases off the bed.

"May I?" Dimitri asked, motioning to grab the bags. Tiredly, I nodded my head and followed him out the apartment, taking mental pictures of it, and then down the stairs to my awaiting friends.

The farewells were tearful and downright sorrow-filled, and Dimitri and I dragged my suitcases off to the tarmac in silence while I tried to compose myself.

A guardian took my bags and disappeared into the cabin of the plane when we arrived. I didn't know him - he was obviously one of the new guys - and I didn't try to be hospital towards him. Other guardians getting the plane ready skirted around us and were conspiciously staying out of our way.

Dimitri pulled me into a fierce hug and didn't let go until the bag guardian came by and told me the plane was about to take off.

"Well," I said, at a loss for words. A spontaneous thought flickered through my mind and I grabbed Dimitri by the collar and pulled him down to me in a kiss that I hoped conveyed more than words ever could. He pulled away first, kissing my forehead in the process.

"I love you," I murmured.

"I love you, too, Roza," Dimitri whispered before he let go of me and I was whisked away to board the plane.

The plane was quite spacious and large and I was the only one travelling. I saw my bags in the back. Sitting down in a random seat in the middle, I felt very weird and even more alone. It would have nice to have the presence of even just one other person in the cabin with me.

There was a hostess, however, so I took some comfort in that. I found the seats could recline into a bed, so all I had to ask for was a pillow and blanket. Now that I sort of knew what my "punishment" was, sleep was my number one priority. I slept soundly until the hostess woke me up when the plane landed.

"Can you get your bags?" she asked, and I nodded sleepily. I woke up with the opening of the door, so getting my bags down the stairs was no issue.

Instantly, I was overcome with a sense of familiarity. The sprawling campus, the student-filled quad, the bare trees and snow, everything about it brought back so many memories. I looked up and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. They had extended the wards on the campus to include the tarmac and part of the forest in the back after the attack, so I didn't have to worry about ghosts.

The sun was setting in the west, as my trial had been around noon, and I saw students walking around as I crossed the quad towards the administrative building. A few of them noticed me and started gaping before disappearing to find their friends. My old gloating, attention-loving self swelled when it realized they recognized me, even if the one freshman had been a second grader when I was a senior.

Students were flooding the quad by the time I had rounded it and was entering the administrative building. A lot of them were pointing and gasping and whispering and I tried to pretend like I was ignoring it. Secretly, I was a little floored by it.

As instructed, I headed towards the guardian captain's office. I left my bags outside Alberta's office, who was still the guardian captain, and she jumped up when I entered.

"Rose! I got a call a few hours ago about what was going on. Come in, come in, sit, I want to hear about it." She ushered me in, closed the door, and then gestured to one of the seats.

"You really want to hear this?" I asked, sitting across from her.

"Why wouldn't I? You are working for me now, correct?" Alberta looked at me cautiously.

"Really? Nobody ever tells me anything these days," I huffed.

"Well, yes, you are. Apparently it's part of your 'rehabilitation program' as ridiculous a term as I find it. You're not really getting rehabilitated in anything, but the Queen seems to think you are. Why don't you tell me what lead you to sitting in here again?"

So I told Alberta. I told here everything that had happened from Tatiana's confiding in me of wanting to give Lissa the throne up to the trial. It was kind of cool telling her everything because we didn't feel like teacher-student. It felt like fellow guardians doing a very, very mellow debriefing on boring events. But knowing I wasn't going to get a lecture later was a vey good feeling, a feeling I had longed and wished for whenever I ended up in Kirova's office as a student.

"That's quite a story," Alberta noted when I finished.

I took an exaggerated deep breath. "No kidding."

"Well, I think having another guardian on hand, especially one of your caliber, is always a good thing, so welcome to the team, Rose," Alberta said, smiling. "I can't have you to high in the ranks or it'll look like I'm favoring you, but I can put you fairly high. Deal?"

"Great," I said.

"As for details and how I'm supposed to 'rehabilitate' you, I think doubling with Guardian Alto on his class and giving you a troublesome student to mentor would suffice. And don't give me that look, Rose. Guardian Alto can't give you that much of a hard time now because you're his equal." She paused and her eyes flicked to the door. "But between you and me, I think he'll be in for a nice surprise when he learns about his new teaching partner."

I laughed a little before turning my guardian mask back on.

"Nice technique," Alberta complimented. "I think your old room is the only empty room in the novice dorm. You don't mind living on one of the student floors, do you?"

"I think they'd be beyond excited to have me sharing the same bathroom as them," I replied, my smirk ever so slightly sarcastic.

"It's good to have you back, Rose." Alberta stood up and I followed suit.

"Wouldn't I be Guardian Hathaway?" I asked.

"I'll forever be confusing you with your mother if I have to address you like that. And I can't go by Belikov-" Her eyes found my engagement ring, which I'd forgotten to take off. "Because I personally think you're a little bit better than him, which is saying something since I was a few years ahead of him and he could pin me in five seconds during my senior year. But that doesn't leave this room, got it Rose?"

I nodded, my smile slipping into a stoic façade as I left the office.

I easily found my old room and just laughed when I saw the computer sitting in the corner with directions for setting up an email account. Guardians emailed each other, too, and it was the way they got school newsletters.

Celeste knocked on my door when I was nearly finished packing and had changed into more presentable guardian clothes.

"Hathaway," she said with a small smile on her face.

"It's good to see you, too," I joked as I locked my room behind me.

"I'm just the messenger. Guardian Petrov said to give you this," Celeste said, handing me a slip of paper with the name Raine Ivanov scrawled above a schedule.

"Thanks," I said as Celeste turned and left me. I could only assume that Raine was my Rose. I laughed, realizing Alberta had given me a position similar to Dimitri's.

Classes were starting when I reached Raine's first class. Coincidentally, it was also Stan's class, and when I ducked in just moments before it started, he gave me a startled look before attempting to calm his class down.

It was definitely an out-of-body experience. I had done something similar for the field experience, so stalking a student and playing the guardian role wasn't an entirely new concept. I found myself getting lost in the classes and looking out the window a lot, not used to having to pay so much attention to guarding. At the Court, while it was looked down upon if someone did it incessantly, it was possible for a guardian to leave their charge and do their own thing. In a school, constant vigilance was a must.

Raine was very much like I was at the age of sixteen. I had quickly figured out she was a junior based on the mere fact that I only recognized the material from Dimitri's infamous lectures. Which just meant I had missed it during normal instruction time.

She was very feisty – probably more so than I had been – and the sarcasm was turned up all the time. One thing she didn't do, however, was willingly pick a fight with anyone or instigate Stan on a useless topic. She seemed to be the type of person that just let things roll off her shoulders like Eddie did. It was also very evident she had a reputation, and it wasn't completely positive, either. From the snippets of conversation I caught and notes I read, I got the sense that Raine got around. I made a mental note to investigate it later.

I was off to go check my email for an update on the rest of specifications on my new position when Raine cornered me near the novice dorm.

"So this is the infamous Rosemarie Hathaway," she said, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. She didn't seem intimidated or in awe that I was me, so I was brought up short for a second about her attitude.

"And?" I prompted, acting like I didn't care.

"I expected you to do a better job of stalking someone," Raine said nonchalantly. "Really, I did. I mean, you didn't follow any of the criteria or technique that goes with following someone around and you even broke some rules, too."

"Glad to see someone's been studying," I countered. "And that was intentional. My first lesson with you as your newly instated mentor is that you should always act as if you don't know everything that's going on, especially in a reconnaissance mission. Act as if you're just there to collect information and be on your merry little way. Besides, acting humble once and a while wouldn't hurt your reputation."

I took one look at her shocked expression and flung the door open. She followed me up the stairs and into my room, firing all sorts of questions, the first of which started with, "Could you repeat that again?"

I spun around in my desk chair while she kept throwing questions at me until she sat down on the floor, obviously tired from the steady stream of air flowing out of her mouth.

"You sure ask a lot of questions," I noted sarcastically, the ghosts of my past biting me in the ass and telling me to revert back.

"I wouldn't have to if you didn't show up. Why did you show up?" Raine's face was puzzled and I had never seen eyebrows creased as heavily as I saw hers crease inward.

"Long story," I told her. "But I'm here with a lovesick, upset fiancée back home, so I don't have much choice, do I?"

"No," Raine said quietly, like she was realizing that the world really didn't bow down to her questions.

"Again, I reiterate my lesson from five minutes ago – you don't know everything." As I was speaking, I realized that it was a lesson I could use myself when I went back to the Court full-time eighteen long months from now.

"So is it true you slept with Dimitri Belikov when you were still a student here?" Raine asked, sitting up straight again. It must have been Bust That Myth time now that I was done lecturing her.

"I'm sure that paper that's due tomorrow that you haven't started yet isn't going to magically write itself," I said, avoiding the question. As Raine got up in a huff and strode for my door, I called out, "First session is at six. Which means, yes, you will have to get up earlier."

"This is going to be great," Raine muttered as she threw the door open and slammed it shut behind her.

Satisfied in a twisted and sick way, I turned around to my computer and set up an email account for the third time, firing off an email to my friends and Dimitri about what had happened and quickly ingesting Alberta's note to me about specifications on my new position. I had a night security shift that ended right at six, which was perfect timing for the sessions with Raine.

Things were going to be okay here.

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	18. Chapter 18

**I'm only going to see New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn because the Volturi are in it. So imagine my disappointment with the 5 minutes of screentime they had in New Moon. Ah well. Suffering through KStew's twitching and stuttering was worth it.**

**(And Dakota Fanning was beast. 'Nuff said.)**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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It felt weird being back out on the track so early. I hadn't been out there like that since my last session with Dimitri, just days before graduation. The thought of Dimitri brought up a round of fresh tears, and I swallowed them back done. Getting through last night hadn't been the easiest emotional experience that I had gone through in a while.

I had brought my laptop - a gift from Lissa that I rarely used since Dimitri and I just split his laptop for the most part - out because my body was still trying to adjust to the time changes and I had no intention of running whatsoever. I stepped off the pavement and into the grassy middle, setting the laptop bag down on the dry grass, and flopped down next to it. My eyes closed and sleep was extremely tempting.

"If this is how you're going to act, this is going to be less torturous than I thought." I felt a shadow block the rising sun from my face and my eyes flicked open to look at Raine. Her body loomed over mine, and I sat up, squinting at her. I tilted my head to the side and chuckled.

"Oh, really?" I teased. I pulled the MacBook out of its slim case. "How long can you go?"

"What?" Raine asked, sitting in front of me Indian style.

I started stretching absent-mindedly. I was still dressed in the sweatpants and tank top I had worn to bed the night before. I had tugged on thin boots designed for fashion and not for warmth, comfort, or durability, and my fingers wrapped easily around the bottom of my feet as I leaned forward.

"How long can you run continuously?" I repeated, gesturing towards the track.

"Oh, I don't know," Raine admitted. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she tried to copy my movements. "Four or five laps."

"Four or five?" I echoed in disbelief. "I can easily do fifteen, twenty if I'm feeling good and the weather's nice." The laptop had booted up by that point, and I switched legs, careful not to squash the thin computer with my knee.

"But you're a graduated guardian!" Raine shot back incredulously.

"I missed two and half years of training," I pointed out calmly, getting a weird Dimitri-like vibe. "And I barely made my trials and field experience. But I was lucky. I had a persistent mentor that took away my social life. I'm grateful for waking up early every morning now."

"So? I've heard rumors about you and what went on in your senior year here. You and your mentor were probably busy fucking each other in a storage closet in the gym."

I shot a glare at her. "Rumors are rumors. They're not the truth. I can tell you right now that nothing like that ever happened between us."

"So what was his name?" Raine teased, malice laced in her voice. It was a small amount, but I could still hear it.

"Dimitri Belikov," I said idly as I signed in on the laptop.

"Oh," Raine said softly. A few years ago during my Christmas break in college, Dimitri and I had been asked to come back to talk at St. Vladimir's and talk to both the Moroi and novices on the secondary campus about what the real world was really like. In typical fashion, I did most of the talking with Dimitri standing right next to me and only answering a few questions in the Q&A session at the end. I had heard a ton of students muttering about how expressionless and scary Dimitri was.

He just laughed when I told him.

"Well, still, I mean I saw him when you two came and talked to us about how our teachers don't do shit to prepare us. You two must have kissed at least once or twice." Raine was still in a ridiculous position in her attempt to copy me.

"Don't do that," I snapped, ignoring what probably not a jab, and leaned over to untangle her legs. "You'll hurt yourself. Just do your normal stretches for now. I'll teach better stretches later this afternoon."

"'Better stretches'?" Raine clarified.

"I am a graduated guardian, aren't I?" I threw back at her playfully. Her smile was more of a grimace and I could've sworn she rolled her eyes as she swiveled away from me to continue to do her stretches.

While she stretched out with a few mutterings of "torture" and "queen bitch", I pulled open iChat. I signed in, minimized it into the dock at the bottom of the screen, and then pulled open an Internet browser. By the time I was opening my first email, Raine had twisted back around on her stomach to look at me expectantly.

"Just run for now. Go as long as you can. Push yourself. Use every last bit of strength you have. I don't care how fast you go, just as long as you're not jogging. Go."

"Fine, Guardian Hathaway," Raine muttered, pushing herself up and taking off at a fairly brisk run that would drain her faster than she could say the alphabet. Her tone was dripping with sarcasm.

A notice popped up and I saw Lissa looking back at me after I agreed to it.

"You're finally using this thing," Lissa noted wryly.

"Yes, I'm finally using 'this thing'. Thanks for the warm round of applause." I shifted so that I was on my stomach and the laptop was sitting in the grass in front of me.

"Duly noted," Lissa teased, giving me a half-hearted round of claps. "So how's the old stomping ground?"

I ignored the weird choice of words and shrugged a shoulder. "I'm doubling on a class with Stan and Alberta's given me an almost juvenile delinquent to mentor. She reminds me too much of myself."

"Well maybe that's a good thing," Lissa laughed.

I glared at her.

"Look, maybe it'll give you a better appreciation for the quote en quote torture Dimitri used to put you through." Lissa raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't call it torture. That's a little extreme, Liss."

"If I remember correctly, you complained a lot about the extra sessions in the beginning."

"Yeah, emphasis on 'in the beginning'." I shook my head. "This girl thinks that by pestering me to no end, she's going to extract information out of me about Dimitri."

"Have you heard any rumors?" Lissa leaned forward in expected Royal nature. Whether or not she'd ever admit it, I knew she secretly loved the gossip Royals shared - as long as none of it was about her. Really, the only difference between then was their last name and looks.

"Just from Raine. Apparently Dimitri and I got wild in the storage closets in the gym."

"The storage closet? Couldn't they come up with a better location? Like, some romantic cabin the middle of the woods out in the Rockies or something?"

I bit my lip. Lissa knew that Dimitri and I did have sex while I was still a senior, she just didn't know where. I made a mental note to stop by the cabin when I did my security rounds later.

"I don't know. They don't seem original."

"Who's Raine, by the way?" Lissa asked.

"Speak of the devil," I said slyly, and turned the laptop (the camera was built-in) to look at a now panting Raine.

"Who doesn't seem original?" Raine leaned forward to look at Lissa.

"Your grade," I said dismissively. "Raine, meet Princess Vasilisa Dragomir, my partner-in-crime from way back when. Liss, meet Raine Ivanov, the almost juvenile delinquent I mentioned a few minutes ago."

"Queen-to-be," Lissa corrected. I leaned around and saw her wave. "Hello Raine."

"You're going to be our new Queen?" Raine asked, dropping in front of the laptop.

"Yes," Lissa said, smiling. There was nothing smug about her persona. "I just found out a few days ago. I still can't get over it."

"Congrats," Raine breathed.

"At least she has manners." Lissa said, and I could tell she knew I was looking in from the side.

"She's going to have better stamina if she gets running again."

"Lap four," Raine mumbled as she stood up, gave Lissa a farewell and took off for the track again.

"Keep going, Ivanov!" I shouted as I moved back to my original spot.

"Don't be so hard on her. She seems like a nice kid."

"Yes, and I'm President Schwarzenegger. Not going to happen."

Lissa's face fell slightly. "Seriously, though. Cut her some slack, if not just for me. And if you don't came back for Easter, I'm dragging Christian and Dimitri out there for a visit."

"You're forgetting Spring Break in early March," I pointed out. Lissa's smile grew.

"Come home. I miss you already." Loneliness floated through the bond, successfully squashing out the nauseous feelings for a second.

"I will. Miss you, too," I said.

"Gotta go. Yet another function Tatiana's making me go to. I really don't want to become Queen."

"But imagine all that power!" I replied, mock lust in my voice.

"Shut up. Talk to you later." And with that, she signed off.

Raine collapsed next to me when she finished seven.

"Happy?" Raine could barely breathe normally, let alone talk.

"Mildly," I said, sending off another email.

Raine groaned in response.

"Deep breaths will help with your breathing. In through the nose for two counts, out through the mouth for another two. When it starts to feel more comfortable, go longer, but don't rush it. I don't need to rush you to the med clinic because you have too much oxygen going to your head."

"That. Can happen?" Raine panted.

"Yep. Now shut up and breathe."

At breakfast, in the hidden faculty area of the cafeteria only staff had access to, Stan sat down in front of me, not looking happy at all.

"Did Petrov really double us?" he asked, not bothering to hide that he and I once never got along.

"Yes, Petrov really did double us," I replied, tearing a chunk off my bagel, matching his tone.

"Do you just want to gloat today and get it out of your system?" Stan asked, and his eyes betrayed his cold indifference.

"Sure, if you think I love to gloat nonstop." I bite into the chunk and smiled smugly at him for a split second. Making a disgusted noise, he grabbed his food and stalked off to the other side of the room.

"Stan PMSing today?" Celeste asked, taking the recently vacated seat. I had the same security round as her, and now that we were equals, she seemed to be warming up to me faster.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "I guess he is."

"You never said that about him when you were in school?" Celeste dropped her head to one side.

"No. Never thought about it," I admitted. I couldn't remember if I ever had.

"Well then, you have new material," Celeste said, taking a bite out of her apple.

I glanced around. Celeste and I, along with Alberta, were two of the few female guardians in the room. Most were male, an increasing issue for those of us that stuck to becoming a guardian and supported gender equality. Having a female captain helped even things out and most of the male guardians hardly ever picked fights with the female guardians because they knew they'd get it from Alberta later. Or so I'd been told.

"Five minute warning!" Alberta called out, and teachers and guardians not watching the student area of the cafeteria scrambled out of their seats and dashed off to their classrooms. We were given a five minute head start on the students so we wouldn't get trampled and they wouldn't cause havoc in the classrooms since they were unsupervised.

Stan was brisk about the whole thing when his - our - first period class got settled.

"I'm sure you all think you know plenty about Guardian Hathaway," Stan said, looking at me. I held up a hand in response towards the class and when I smiled softly, some junior boy whistled loudly. Stan turned back to the class. "And I'm sure the last thing you all want to do is listen to a guardian gloat about their accomplishments. Guardian Hathaway here, who will be doubling up with me on this class from now on, will now tell you differently about those two things. So, Rose, go ahead and squash rumors. If I recall correctly, that seemed to be a pastime of yours."

"I only did it for Princess Dragomir," I snapped, my voice sweet and fake.

"Go on. Start gloating, Hathaway," Stan said as we switched positions. I leaned against his desk and heaved a great sigh, playing it up a little bit.

"So, I'm going to gloat in little bits. It's question and answer time-" I held up a hand as the class got excited. "Keep it PG-rated, people. I've already heard some very untrue and disturbing things."

A bulky novice with jet black hair threw his hand up in the air.

"Name?" I demanded.

"Yours," he said suggestively. The class laughed in response.

"Really? Then mine would be 'Engaged'. Now, your real name and question?"

"Justin." He slumped in seat in defeat. "Who are you engaged to?"

"A man," I retorted playfully. Raine, in the back, slid down in her seat and rolled her eyes.

"Ivanov," I called out. "You seemed to have a lot of questions earlier."

"No, no questions," Raine said, looking very uncomfortable. Somebody muttered "slut" under their breath.

"Really? Are you sure about that?"

"Positive," Raine said, her voice small. Her eyes flicked around the classroom wildly. "Could you ask someone else for their question?"

"Hey, look, the blood whore has nothing to say for once. What, is your idol intimidating you?" A blond girl teased, and she and her friends erupted into laughter.

"Christine!" Stan snapped. "Hallway. Now."

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes dramatically. She grabbed her bag and sauntered out of the room. Several guys, including Justin, followed her (or more specifically her ass) out of the room, and then whooped a little bit before I whistled shrilly over top of them.

"Carry on," Stan said, following Christine out of the room.

Raine, still sliding farther down in her seat, looked ready to cry. I took note of that and moved on. I knew how it felt to be called a blood whore; with Raine, however, it seemed to be a repetitive thing. I felt bad for her, but I tried not to show it as I called on another guy in the third row.

"Name, question."

"Lucas," he said, a cocky smile on his face. "So is it true you fucked your mentor?" As soon as the words spilled out of his mouth, his friends did the guy thing and slapped each other on their backs while the girls tittered nervously. What an immature bunch.

"Language," I corrected. I allowed myself a slightly smug smile for half a second. "Since this is MythBusters time, I'm going to answer truthfully." I walked over to Lucas' desk and leaned forward, thankful the white guardian shirt covered up any cleavage I still had.

"So?" The cocky smile was still there.

"Yes, yes I did. Early March of my senior year. Right before he nearly died in the Strigoi attack against the school. So watch what you say about him."

"Wait," said one of Christine's friends. She seemed much less inferior-feeling now that her ring leader friend was out of the room. "So you're engaged to him? 'Cause you said earlier you were engaged."

"Name?" I asked, standing up straight with my arms across my chest.

"Shelby."

"Yes I am, Shelby," I replied, walking back to the front of the room.

"The name's Drake," another novice called out. "Who's the guy? He must have a hard time keeping a woman like you interested."

"I'm eight years older than you, and much more likely to land you in the hospital than vice versa. Don't talk about me like that." I glared at him before giving him a fake sweet smile. "I'm surprised none of you know who he is."

The class was silent in eager anticipation. It was disgusting. There must not have been as much drama as when I was a student.

"The guy's name is Dimitri Belikov. I'm definitely sure you've heard of him," I said to their shocked, frozen faces.

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**Review!**

**Oh, and on a completely sort related sidenote, for those of you who don't have me on author alert: I posted a new story, _You Start With A Mistake_****. I'm not sure if there's going to be a sequel or if it's going to be the first in a trilogy. I posted the prologue yesterday, so go check it out.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Ah, you all like Raine. Good to know. :) She's not going anywhere for a while. And I like her, too. She reminds me of Rose in so many ways - and they're so different, too. It's kind of cool to see it in action.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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"But-"

"You-"

"That speech-"

Several kids stammered at the same time as things clicked into place. The time Dimitri and I had come back to give the talk, the way we sort of orbited around each other - and not in a complete guardian-like way, either. Justin let out a long, low whistle.

"Damn," he said when the room lapsed into silence. Something about it, the timing, the word, _something_ made it funny to the point where even I lost it. I could barely control myself from laughing so hard, let alone the class, so when Stan walked back in Catherine-less, he just stared at us and called for order. He was shaking his head as the questions started up again.

The questions themselves turned back into the PG-rated stuff Stan had been hearing before, I knew some of them - especially Justin - were dying to ask me "more detailed questions" as I heard Shelby whisper to one of her friends.

Class was dismissed, and I could tell Raine was dying to just book it out of there. She kept getting stuck, though, behind kids that were trying to stop and ask me more about my relationship with Dimitri. She was about to slip past when I called her name.

"What?" she asked, clearly annoyed that I was keeping her from going somewhere else and away from the classroom.

"I want you stay for just a second," I said. "And you three-" I pointed to Shelby, Justin, and Drake, "Need to get a move on. I'm sure your teachers wouldn't appreciate it if you were late. Even if you don't think so."

"Then why does she get to stay?" Shelby asked, venom dripping off her voice.

"Because I'm the teacher, and therefore get to use the excuse, 'Because it's none of your business'. So get moving," I added, a bit harshly as the trio slipped out of the room.

"What do you want now?" Raine asked, shifting her bag to her opposite shoulder and looking around wildly, her voice small.

"Look at me when you speak," I ordered. Raine looked at me, her discomfort very evident now.

"What?" Raine repeated. "Have class you know." Her voice wasn't the tough, sarcastic front she'd put up earlier.

"I'm just letting you know that you will have some explaining at our next practice session after school today," I said, going a different route than I had intended. Seniors were flooding into the room, sweaty and pumped from the combat class they had just come from; there was no way I could have Raine tell me anything. Upperclassmen would be even more intimidating than her immature peers.

"That it?" Raine asked, looking towards a senior boy as he ducked into the room. He gave her a brief smile and took his seat in the back of the room. Her confidence suddenly shot up through the roof, and the complaining tired sixteen year old from earlier this morning was back. Her hand found her hip, and I could feel her tapping her foot impatiently against the linoleum floor.

"Yes," I sad carefully, assessing this change. A boyfriend. That's what it's got to be. Well, if it was, at least it wasn't some royal Moroi taking advantage of her.

I seriously needed to stop channeling Dimitri.

The seniors were even more daring than the juniors. Several kids were called out into the hallway after asking completely inappropriate questions and none of them returned. I was positive Kirova was loving the fact that I was back.

I figured out very quickly that Raine's boyfriend was the ringleader of the novices - the Mason or Eddie of his grade. And he actually had some depth to him, too. His question went past the "So how many times did you Dimitri sleep together?" questions I had gotten from everyone else.

"Name," I said when he was about to launch into his question.

"Andrew," he said, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Andrew," I echoed. "Nice name. Your question?"

"How do you and Dimitri juggle a relationship and holding positions as guardians of high-ranking royal Moroi? I mean, it must get difficult, mustn't it? You both are well-known, respectable guardians so I can imagine that your relationship comes second." He leaned forward, eager for my answer.

"Thanks for a legit question," I commented. "And yes, it does take a back burner most of the time. While we do live at the Court and do get take off a day here and there or force our Moroi - who _are_ friends by the way - to hold social events together, we get very little time with just the two of us. I'll see him maybe three or fours hours of the day, five or six if it's a lucky day. It puts a great amount of strain on our relationship, believe me. We recently had a huge fight that probably would have torn us apart, had he not be as resourceful as to win me back with over with a very expensive engagement ring." I chuckled and Andrew, along with some of the other students, chuckled with me.

"Do you try to do anything like Date Night or something?" Andrew asked. Nobody else seemed to want to ask any other questions. "You two must have some time alone."

"Yeah. It's called procrastinating by cuddling instead of getting out of bed at six in the morning to get in the shower. Not very long, but effective." I smiled. "Why do you ask?"

"It seems like you need to have a strong bond already in place before you both got your Moroi assigned to you. Just clarifying that." He leaned back into a more comfortable position.

"Yes, you do. While completely forbidden, looked down upon, and slightly pedophile-like in human eyes, we were lucky enough to have about a year before I graduated." I paused. The class descended into silence. "Any other questions?"

A girl with jet-black hair raised her hand. "Maria," she supplied before going on. "So, if you two have this strong bond or whatever, what the hell are you doing here?"

Even Stan seemed interested in what I had to say. Only Alberta knew, and as guardian captain, she didn't have to tell anyone but Kirova. Oh the joys.

I opened my mouth and then shut it, unable to come up with a condensed version of what had happened. "Long story short, the Moroi I'm assigned to is a spirit user. It's a fifth element that Moroi can wield. It's only starting to get some of the spotlight now that she's rising in the ranks of Royals. Anyway, we have a psychic bond and - stay with me here, I know it's crazy - whenever she uses spirit, this thing that causes a bigass depression is transferred from her to me. It can also be transferred when I also let my short temper fuse out. In any event, I found out some shocking news in a rather upsetting manner - I'd rather not go into detail about it right now - and my controlled temper snapped. I call it 'the blackness' for lack of creativity; it overwhelmed me, and I took out my anger in a way that I shouldn't have. The Queen booted me here for a year and half."

"Oh," Maria said. The class' silence was even deeper now.

"I guess that's it," I said as the bell rang - something new to my former school - and everyone grabbed their stuff and left.

That was the first half of the morning. The second half was the sophomores and freshman, most of whom asked me about the attack and not about my love affair with my mentor. After I painstakingly did the math, they would have been in about second or third grade around the time of the incident and probably would remember very little of my return, if they remembered anything at all.

"So, tired of gloating?" Stan asked me after I extracted a package out of a couple of Moroi freshmen's hands they tried to sneak into the bathroom. We were headed towards Kirova's office.

"Just a little. But remember, Alto, this is me we're talking about," I retorted, shooting a quick snarky smile at him before ducking into Kirova's office.

My afternoon was filled with three long, tedious calculus classes and a Russian I class. By the end of the day, I had begun to master how to say colors in Russian, along with "I have". I made a mental note to be in that classroom everyday and to learn basic Russian. It would be a secret that I kept to myself. After I figured out how to say "blackness" in Russian, I'd have a new, exotic name for the blackness Lissa gave me after she used spirit. "The blackness" was just too plain for me.

Plus, it'd be cool to say my vows to Dimitri in his native tongue at our wedding. Which meant I'd have to hit the _Russian For Dummies_ books as soon as possible.

*****

I dropped onto my bed, having just come back from dinner and my third practice session with Raine. I was so tired, it wasn't even funny. My hair was still wet from the shower I had taken on the way to my room, soaking the pillow beneath my head. I had turned the light off, the blackout curtains drawn, when a notice popped up on the screen, the iChat icon jumping on the dock. I had left my MacBook open after i had checked my email after school.

Groaning, I rolled onto the floor, pushed myself up, and grabbed the laptop. I landed back on my bed, this time with pillows between my back and the headboard, and very little of my energy spiked up when I saw that it was Lissa. No doubt she'd want to know how my first day went.

I accepted the notice and waited for the light to adjust when instead of seeing Lissa's face, I saw Dimitri's. I nearly started to cry right then and there and it was all I could do to keep my throat from closing up. What Andrew and I had talked about in class earlier that day came swimming back up to the surface.

"Surprise," Dimitri said playfully. He pushed a stray piece of hair behind his ear, but fell back in front of his face. "Lissa's letting me use her computer until I get a webcam for my ancient and old PC." He paused and looked at me carefully. "How are you?"

"Isn't that a big question," I noted and gave him a half-smile. "I'm really out of it right now, y'know, with the time changes and everything. I've been given the security shift that bumps up right against my sessions with Raine so I'm getting, like, five ours of sleep a night and Alberta made me double up with Stan for his class in the morning and the girl I'm mentoring definitely has some issues going on and you wouldn't believe the stories these kids are making up about us and..." I trailed off, taking a deep breath after my run-on of thoughts. "Well, it's been a crazy day." I laughed once and it sounded hollow.

"It does. Now what's this about sessions with Raine?" Dimitri asked, starting from the beginning.

"I'm basically in your position," I explained. "Except my mentoree isn't a runaway but a junior who's got some issues going on. Her peers and everyone in grades around her view her as the blood whore of the school because she's had the same boyfriend, who's a year older by the way, for, like, three years now or something really long like that. Apparently the students here get dumber every year. They don't know the difference between a Moroi bite and a hickey."

"And her boyfriend is-" Dimitri prompted.

"A dhampir. She's in Stan's first period class and he's in the second period class."

"Speaking of Stan, Alberta made you double up?" Dimitri's eyebrows creased downward in confusion.

"Yeah. I have no idea, though I think it's her version of a sick joke. We never got along. Do you know what he let me do today? He let my gloat to, and these are his words, _get it out of my system_." I shook my head. "Both of them have officially lost it."

"Don't tell anyone I told you this, but Alberta's fifty-one. I think she's allowed to have lost it, as you put it," Dimitri said.

"Thanks for the tip-off!" I heard Christian yell and Dimitri rolled his eyes.

"They can see and hear everything. You don't want to know how," Dimitri added as I opened my mouth. "So what rumors have you overheard?"

"Pfft," I said. "Stan's class today was a Q&A session. The freshmen and sophomores were interested in the Strigoi attack on campus, since they were, what, eight, nine when it happened? The juniors and seniors, however, decided to grill me on my sexual exploits during my senior year. I think the most common question out of the juniors and seniors was a PG-rated version of 'How many times did you guys sleep together?' It wasn't pleasant at all."

"And Stan just let that happen?" Dimitri leaned forward into the computer a little bit more.

"Like I said - Stan and I don't get along. Period. I think he had fun watching me squirm as I tried to avoid those questions."

"Rose," Dimitri said forcefully. "I don't think that's the case."

"Oh really?" I asked. But I let it go. There were bigger issues to deal with.

"Listen to me. I need you to get through this, okay? If not for Lissa and Christian and everybody else, then for me. I don't want you to be miserable - and I can tell you're miserable right now. The last thing I want to do is go to sleep knowing that you're not happy."

"How can Tatiana throwing me out here make me happy? What happiness can I find out here?" I pleaded. I watched as Dimitri's eyes became more and more upset.

"Roza," he murmured, just barely loud enough for me to hear. "I know it's going to be difficult out there by yourself. I know that, believe me. You're in my position more than just as a guardian. I had leave my family halfway around the globe, and when I first got to the school, I could barely speak enough English to not sound like an idiot. Learning English in my household wasn't the world's biggest priority. But, my point is, you have to try to find happiness, something that makes you content and okay and somewhat satisfied with the situation at hand. Can you do that for me?"

I nodded, tears welling up in a big ball in my throat.

"I miss you. Last night was horrible, having to go bed by myself for the first time in years. I'll admit that I was lonely."

"Aw, how sweet is that?" Adrian called out. I made a mental note to strangle him the next time I saw him.

Dimitri kept going like Adrian hadn't interjected. "I don't want you to be out there by yourself. I want you to be here with me, I need you to be here with me. Why don't we try to do this everyday? This time work alright for you?"

"Yes," I choked out, my voice barely a whisper.

"Then I'll notify you this time tomorrow then. Unless I'm dead or doing something for the Queen, I'll be here, okay? Not to sound morbid or anything," he added with a small smile on his face. His eyes, however, were filled with tears ready to spring forth. He was just better hiding it than I was.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Try to be happy. Try to find something that makes the situation better. Promise me you will." His voice was taking on a near pleading edge I hadn't heard him use in a long time.

"I will."

"I love you, Roza, I really do."

"I love you, too, Dimitri," I whispered. He smiled and I barely had enough time to sign off and put my computer on the floor before bursting into sobs.

I had never been that homesick or lonely or had missed someone that bad in my entire life. It was a weird sensation that pulled me under to the sobs and little, fitful sleep I got before I had to face another Dimitri-less day.

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**Who else had a good Thanksgiving? (For those of you who celebrate it, of course.)**


	20. Chapter 20

**I hate homework. Just saying.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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Things were starting to get better.

After breaking many fights and laying into troublemakers so hard that Kirova was able to have an entire hour to herself one day, I was quickly pushed through the ranks, right up near Alberta and Stan. Stan wasn't too happy that the only two guardians I had above me were him and Alberta, but he tried not to show it.

The class I had to double with Stan on was also starting to get better. Stan and I had worked a compromise - he'd do the grading and I'd do the teaching. We'd split the responsibility of lesson planning by week.

Most of the students tried to behave somewhat better for me in class, but Justin seemed to think that he could get a free, easy ride since I didn't send nearly as many kids into the hallway as Stan had; this lead to lots of teasing and horribly hidden pick-up lines. I couldn't wait for Easter to come so Dimitri could show him a thing or two about trying to make a move on me - especially considering I had seven years on him. I could only laugh at the irony.

Raine was opening up more - turns out that Andrew was, in fact, her boyfriend of a year and a half. And it was clear that he was literally all she had. Her dhampir mother had been a blood whore and Raine had no idea who her father was. Her mother had died when she was in the sixth grade. Some drunk idiot had slammed into her when she was coming home from church.

I also learned a bit more about Andrew. He was in the same boat as me: his mother, a working guardian, had dropped him off at St. Vladimir's at birth and tried to visit every year at Christmas and Easter. She did, however, get off for the same week every year in the summer - it was in preparation for when he graduated. This way, she could get off for the week he graduated. Raine's eyes held tons of sadness as she told me this.

Unlike me, however, he did know who his father was, and Andrew took off for the last part of July to spend two weeks with him out in Ireland. Raine had apparently gone with him for the past two summers and loved it. She didn't have any European blood on her mother's side, and unknowing of her father, just considered herself to have no European blood in her whatsoever.

I checked in with Lissa through the bond regularly and had a small party by myself when the morning sickness started to fade. She also checked in regularly with me, though, like my bond checks, there was no set time. She aimed for when I'd have a session with Raine, but I had started to run with her and we wouldn't be doing anything else for a while.

Dimitri kept checking in, though, at our set time. One evening, he was late by five minutes, and since Lissa had the chat up, she attempted to calm my fears. It turned out that Queen Bitch had just wanted him to run a time-consuming errand.

Being separated from him was the one thing that was hard to feel better about, but I kept my promise and tried to find happiness in even doing the mundane tasks like laundry and lesson planning. I found comfort in music, and by the time my birthday rolled around, all I wanted with online music store gift cards because I had discovered a ton of new bands on YouTube and didn't feel like hitting up my credit card all that much.

"Two more laps," I told Raine as she jogged off the track and fell down next to me.

"Two? Rose, it's Easter this Sunday and Andrew's mom is going to be here really, really soon. Can't you show some mercy and just let me go clean myself up?" Raine asked, gulping half her water down.

"Slower sips. One lap. Go." I didn't even look up from the lesson plan I was writing.

"Ugh, fine." She took off to finish her last lap.

"Looks like I rubbed off on you in more ways than one," I heard a voice say. I felt a presence sit down next to me. I was about to say something about stalkers, when the wind shifted and I caught a familiar scent I knew all too well.

"Dimitri!" I cried, throwing my arms around his neck. He buried his face in my hair and chuckled against the top of my head.

"I missed you, too, Roza," Dimitri whispered. He kissed my forehead and pulled back to look at me.

"When did you land? I didn't even hear the plane or anything."

"Last night. Right before your shift started." He paused, and a small smile crept onto his face. "I wasn't the only one that spied on you, by the way."

"Stalker," I said, rephrasing the earlier comment I had been going to say minutes before that.

"Aw, the two love birds are at it again." Raine plopped herself in front of us, and I disentangled myself from Dimitri's arms, trying to get all of the fallen papers back into some semblance of order.

"Don't let Justin hear you say that," I playfully chastised. "He might drop his girlfriend of the week in order to devote all of his time trying to woo me away from Dimitri in jealousy."

"And don't let my English teacher hear you say that grammatically awful sentence that just spewed out of your mouth." Raine smiled against the rim of her water bottle.

"Touche," I added, straightening the pile out. I heaved a sigh and looked up. Raine was trying extremely hard not to stare at Dimitri.

"You're not being a very good host," Dimitri pointed, a corner of his mouth tugging up into something similar to a cross between a smirk and a grin.

"Dimitri, this is Raine Ivanov, my quote en quote troubled teen that I'm mentoring. Rainy-bear, this is the widely known and feared Dimitri Belikov." I shot him back my own smirk/grin and stood up, holding my hand out for him.

Raine could barely stammer out a "Guardian Belikov." Dimitri just gave her a nice smile and did that whole "It's nice to meet you, too" thing he did with other guardians.

"How are you so calm and collected around him?" Raine squeaked as we walked along the edge of the trees back to the dormitories. Dimitri was a few feet behind us to give us our mentor/student privacy.

"First impressions are everything," I said in a very mentor-like fashion. "And my first impression of him was that he was the bastard that forcefully dragged Lissa and I back to this hellhole."

Raine raised an eyebrow at my description.

"I had some anger and control issues when I was seventeen. I've got it mostly under control, thanks to him." I inclined my head backwards toward Dimitri.

"Wow," Raine breathed, staring straight ahead. I turned my head to see where she was looking and why she had suddenly stopped. I saw Andrew waving like a madman across the quad.

"You can go," I told her. "I won't see you until Monday evening, so have a happy Easter."

"Aren't you going to be on campus?" Raine asked as she adjusted ehr duffel bag.

I just gave her a knowing look and glanced back at Dimitri. "I might be kept busy in the guest dorm, if you know what I mean."

Raine squealed in disgusted and then broke out in a run towards her boyfriend.

"Can the being busy bit start now?" Dimitri asked softly, sliding his arms around my waist.

"I don't know," I admitted, twisting to look at him. "Maybe it can."

"Good," Dimitri muttered before his lips crashed hungrily on mine. When we surfaced for air, he grinned.

"And so they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder," he murmured, his lips grazing over my ear and into my hair.

"No kidding," I whispered. I twisted all the way around in his arms, and locked my arms behind his neck. My bag had dropped to the ground next to our feet.

"I don't think they mention how hard it is between the visits, though." My breathing hitched as a hand snaked into my hair and his lips barely touched my skin as they were dragged down my jawline. I pressed into him even harder in response.

"I missed you," Dimitri murmured.

"I missed you, too," I echoed before I pushed my lips back on his even more.

I locked my arms around his neck, and I tried to surpress a shudder as his other hand found the skin underneath the back of my shirt. His mouth opened slightly and I took that as my cue. I pulled his hair free of the ponytail he normally kept it in, sliding my fingers through the absolutely perfect silkiness they had come to know and love.

How long we stood there, kissing and trying to not do so much more, was a mystery to me. But I loved every second of it.

"That was the longest 'I've missed you' kiss I had ever seen in my entire life," Christian noted dryly as Dimitri and I pulled away. "I could have toasted and eaten enough bagels to feed the continent of Australia."

"Christian," I whined, playfully slapping and then hugging him. "Since when do you watch other couples make out?"

"Since he got promoted," Lissa teased, coming up from behind him. She gave me a rather forceful hug. "He's now up there with the guys in charge of overseeing the entire Strigoi department, aren't you, love?"

Christian ruffled her hair sweetly and nodded, trying to hide the smug smile. "Don't forget that I also got voted on to the Board of Directors for the same department."

"That's great!" I said happily. "Why didn't you tell me?" I looked at Lissa.

"You have to have some surprises in your life, Rose," Lissa said. "Like that surprise, belated party we're having for you later. But now you just have to act surprised since I just spilled the beans about it."

I just bit my lower lip, astonished at seeing the three of them in the flesh instead of over a computer screen. I let go of my lip when it screamed in protest.

"Let me go drop these lesson plans off with Stan, and then I can take you guys into the faculty lounge of the cafeteria and let you marvel at just how dull my life has become." I smiled and set off at a brisk pace towards the classrooms.

"So this is the great mystery behind the steel door?" Christian hadn't seemed to have lost any sarcasm while I was gone.

I looked around at the worn couches and the few tables and shrugged. "You get more food."

"Way to look at the glass half full," Christian said. Smiling at one of the newer guardians that had been here for a year, I led my three visitors over to the faculty kitchen window. Glancing at my face in the mirror sitting in the corner of the window, I noticed that my lips looked just a tad more swollen than usual.

"So, if you want," I started as we grabbed a table in the corner, "Alberta's letting you act as a temp guardian."

Dimitri nodded. "Sure."

"Great! You won't get a comms unit, I'm afraid, but that won't be too much of an issue," I told him, catching Celeste's eye. "Be right back," I said, getting out of my chair and making my way over to her.

"Petrov on duty?" I asked, throwing a smile at the other teachers she was sitting with.

Celeste nodded. "Just went out. You missed her."

"That's fine," I said. I tapped the wireless headset on and bobbed my head at the group before going back to my own seat.

Alberta was more than happy to have Dimitri working as a temp guardian that Friday. I had cancelled my other two sessions with Raine that day, giving both of us the rest of the day off.

"So what do we do?" Lissa asked as Stan called out the five minute warning.

"Bum around. Call Adrian for ideas. We get DirecTV now, so there's got to be a movie or something on," I added, getting rid of my tray. "Get creative if boredom hits you that hard." I winked at Lissa, and she shoved my arm.

"We'll be fine," Christian said, tugging Lissa by the elbow in the direction of the guest dorms.

"This way, Comrade," I said, my old high school nickname for him slipping out unintentionally.

"I thought you dropped that years ago," Dimitri mused. His hands clapsed behind his back, the some old leather duster crinkling with the movement.

"Old habits die hard," I admitted. We turned down into the hallway that led towards my classroom, and two sophomore-looking girls leaned against a wall, heads bent close together. Giggles erupted as Dimitri and I walked past.

"Break it up and go to class," I snapped, and the two girls took off in the direction of what I assumed was their classroom.

"Hathaway's got a mean streak," Dimitri joked as I grabbed my keys, located the correct one, and unlocked the door. I flipped the lights on as Dimitri slipped in behind me.

"He didn't change anything," Dimitri breathed as I tossed my keys on the desk and shrugged my thin jacket off, draping it on the back of the chair.

I grunted in response, grabbing the LCD monitor remote, and pointing it at the monitor mounted into the ceiling. It whirred to life as the prepared PowerPoint presentation came on to the screen.

Stan walked in, looked at my face and then to Dimitri warily, and shook his head. He dropped his stuff onto the old ratty desk he used as his storage area.

"I was thinking that the essays could be handed back-"

"And that I could go over them a little bit," I finished. Stan was predictable like that. He could grade 100 papers faster than I could grade five, and always insisted that I discuss them a little bit with the class before diving into that day's topic.

"Exactly," Stan agreed, pulling a stack of papers out of one of the large bags he carried around for classes. He set them down on the desk behind me.

Students and other guardians began filing in, and soon, the shouts and hollers of the rowdy juniors filled the room. Dimitri and I locked glances for a second and I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

Things were going to be interesting.

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	21. Chapter 21

**I hate homework. Just saying.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

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I whistled loudly to get their attention. It had been my class of juniors that had been the mot inappropriate about the whole Dimitri thing, and seeing him in the room had sent the entire class into a frenzy. Only Raine didn't get involved, and with her nose in a book, she didn't seem to even know that Justin was shooting glares of death towards Dimitri.

"Hey!" I finally shouted. "If I don't get silence in one second flat, I can promise you that a fifteen-page essay due on Monday that's worth ten percent of your final grade will be the least of your worries!"

Silence followed.

At least some things shut them up. I didn't doubt that if I had to have assigned it, and assuming they all did it, Stan could have them all graded by Wednesday.

"Thank you," I said, my voice much more quiet. I noticed Dimitri uncharacteristically shifted weight from his left to his right foot.

Somebody coughed. I pretended not to have heard them.

"Speaking of essays," I announced. My voice was now the loud "teacher voice" that was required of all little kids when they gave presentations in class down on the elementary campus. "I have the ones you all handed in on Monday. And before we get into today's lesson, going over them would be the understatement of the century."

I pulled off the giant paper clip that bound all the juniors' essays together and went about passing them back. Before putting it face down on her desk, I was glad to see Raine had gotten a much needed full grade on it.

Stan stopped me when I got to the front of a row, and muttered quietly that the class average had been a 69. I smiled in acknowledgement, and went back to passing papers out.

I leaned against the desk at the front of the room, facing everyone, and crossed my arms over my chest. Christine leaned over to Shelby like she was about to say something, but I shot her "don't-mess-with-me" look.

"The class average was a sixty-nine, despite some of you getting much higher grades than that. This wasn't a very hard essay – in fact, I think Guardian Alto has gone soft since I was in his class." His guardian mask didn't falter at all.

"The Four-Point Rotational Surveillance Method isn't as complicated as some of you portrayed it as. Justin, since you and your friends are having such an intriguing and intellectual conversation, would you care to inform us of the basics of it?"

"Of what, Teach'?" Justin asked with his infamous cocky grin plastered back on his face.

"Thank you, Mr. Willet," I said, before moving on. The class tittered as Justin realized he'd been called out.

"The basics, [Marie]?" I asked as the spiky-haired girl pulled her fingernail out of her mouth.

"Look North, East, South, and West. If you aren't aware or sure of where exactly North, East, South, and West are, just look in four points with a ninety degree rotation." She flashed me a half-hearted smile and poked her fingernail back in between her teeth.

"And what are we looking for, Drake?" Unlike his friend, Drake was actually paying attention. For someone who'd failed the paper, he'd better be paying attention.

"We're watching for Strigoi. The four points would be around our assigned Moroi."

"But necessarily Strigoi, correct? And the Moroi we're circling may not be our charge. They may be someone else's charge, or they may not even be someone's charge." The last part was something Janine had said years ago, and I was just now recalling it. Over the course of the years, however, I had forgotten the context in which she said it and why she had said it and why I had gotten the sense that she was reminiscing instead of giving me advice.

"Yes," said Drake. "We're watching whatever Moroi is put in our protection and we're surveying for any threat. But Strigoi are the main threat."

"Now please explain to me why you received a thirty-three on your essay."

Drake shifted in his seat, discomfort written all over his features. Everyone then turned to stare at him, and his uneasiness shot through the roof.

"The essay wasn't very hard," I said. "It was only five hundred words explaining the Four-Point Rotational Surveillance Method." I paused, counting the words. "You all just explained it briefly in about sixty-five, seventy words. A little detail, some citations of outside texts, there's your essay. I'm pretty sure your English teacher wouldn't like knowing that none of you know how to write an essay, a topic you all have been studying since the seventh grade."

I glanced at Stan, and he nodded. I hated handing out lectures, and I wasn't very good at them in my opinion, and I would rather hand out smiley face stickers for anyone who at least turned it in.

"On that happy note, let's get started," I said, redirecting my attention to the screen behind me.

The morning passed quickly, as did the rest of the day. Dimitri, playing temporary guardian, just followed me around. He raised an eyebrow as the Russian I class started, but I ignored him. I hoped my eyes didn't give away how enthralled I was and just how much of the class I was soaking up.

I would have gone to a different class to avoid Dimitri getting suspicious of anything to any amount – it was just my luck that they would be starting how to talk about how others felt in terms of emotions.

As soon as the school part of the say ended, I took off for the guest dormitory in search of Lissa and Christian. I was at the door when Dimitri stopped me.

"Do you think they'll mind if I hold you hostage for a few hours?" Dimitri asked me, his voice dangerously near my ear. I had to stop my erratic breathing and move my head to look at Dimitri, a feat not easily accomplished.

"I think that if Lissa and Christian found something to do for seven hours, they can keep doing it for a few more hours," I muttered quietly. I was suddenly thankful for the giant tree that partially hid the entrance to the guest dormitory.

"Isn't it a good thing that we both agree on the same thing?" Dimitri asked, a smile working its way onto his carefully guarded face.

I didn't answer him; I swung the door open and headed up the staircase that was to the right. Dimitri came up behind me and slipped his hand into mine. He pulled me along to his room, telling me that his room was at the complete opposite end of Lissa and Christian's room, for whatever reason the school had not told him. Which, considering that privacy might be a factor, was a good thing.

He flicked the light on, and a suite identical to the room Adrian had years ago appeared out of the darkness. Dimitri closed and locked the door, throwing the key onto the table in the kitchenette area.

Without warning, he pulled me into a tight hug. I put my arms around his waist, and he buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply.

"Roza," he murmured after a few minutes. I pressed my face into his chest in response and tried to keep from crying. The past month and half had been extremely trying on us, and I had taken to hugging a pillow when I slept so the loneliness would be a bit more bearable.

After standing there for a good ten minutes and a light kiss on the forehead, I followed Dimitri into the adjacent bedroom. I sat against the headboard, using the pillows as a backrest.

"I think you'd appreciate this much more if I gave it to you in person," Dimitri said softly, sitting down next to me with his hand gingerly clutching a package wrapped in plain silver paper.

I raised my eyebrows as he handed me the package. "My birthday was weeks ago, Dimitri."

"Exactly," he said cryptically. I carefully ripped the paper away. Staring back at me was the picture of Dimitri and me at my college graduation, the same picture in the same silver frame that sat on my bedside table back home.

"I know how much you love that picture," Dimitri whispered as I ran my fingers over the glass lightly. I was surprised how thick his near-gone Russian accent had gotten. "And I thought you would like it, just to have it as a piece of home."

"Thank you," I breathed. I put the picture on the nightstand and wrapped my arms around Dimitri. Even in moments like this, where it couldn't have been more obvious he was still head over heels for me, I still had a bit of a hard time grasping the concept that Dimitri had chosen to be with me. And no one else.

I ended up staying the rest of the day and the entire night with Dimitri. Since it was about three in the morning for humans, all of the infomercials and crappy movies were on; Dimitri and I had a great time making fun of the cheap products shopaholics were no doubt searching for their credit cards to buy right now.

We ordered in food since neither of us wanted leave, and I was pretty sure the Chinese place wasn't used to getting food orders at eleven in the morning. Nonetheless, I knew I was going to pay for the lo mien I accidentally threw in Dimitri's hair.

I fell asleep in his arms, the TV still going. We were lying flat on our backs at that point, and between the stress of being a school guardian, being in Dimitri's extremely warm and comforting arms, and just the fact that Dimitri was now tangible instead of computer pixels, it was hard not to fall asleep. I think Dimitri fell asleep at some point, but not before turning the TV off and pulling the covers out from underneath us so body parts like my feet wouldn't get too cold.

When I woke up, my security shift was way over and I could hear students shouting in the quad with their parents yelling reprimands even louder over them.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Dimitri pulled me into his chest.

"Can't. Breathe," I choked out against his shirt.

Dimitri chuckled and let me roll back onto my back. "It's almost lunch. Not getting enough sleep lately?" His voice was teasing and I soaked it in. I knew that after tomorrow, he'd be back to being computer pixels with a half-second delay in movement time.

I shook my head and blinked a few times to get the crud build-up out of my eyes. All of the sudden, I felt Dimitri's fingers in my sides, my one last ticklish spot, and I nearly kicked the blankets off due to my hysteric laughing.

"Now you're awake," Dimitri said assertively.

"Yes I am," I said, sitting up. I twisted to look back at Dimitri. "I can't believe I wasted a night that could've been filled with ''I-missed-you' sex with _sleep_."

"You were tired," Dimitri said, sitting up next to me. He started massaging the back of my neck. "And who said sex was a night thing? It may be daytime for us, but it's night for humans and those in the Eastern hemisphere."

"Dammit," I growled as he nipped playfully at the back of my neck. "I can't do this right now."

"And why not?" Kisses. Up and down my jawline and neck. A leg wrapped around me. Dimitri press into my back. Distractions, all of it.

"I've got to help with the..." I started, but my words trailed off as he resumed his earlier neck massage. He rested a chin on my shoulder. His breath against my neck just added to the pile of distractions.

"I think they can wait a few more minutes," Dimitri murmured as he pulled me back towards the pillows.

* * *

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	22. Chapter 22

**Hooray for blizzards!**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

"You bitch!"

I looked up from the clipboard I was leafing through. I found Raine pushing a terrified, red-haired Moroi girl up against the wall near the dhampir dorm entrance.

"You think I wouldn't know? That I wouldn't find out?" Raine snarled, pushing the girl farther into the wall.

"What seems to be the problem here?" I asked calmly, gliding up behind Raine.

Dimitri became utterly fascinated by a bush a few feet away from us.

"This slut-" Raine spat, jerking her head towards the girl but never taking her eyes off me- "had _her_ hands all over _my_ boyfriend."

"Is that all?" I asked, giving the Moroi girl what I hoped was a warm smile.

Raine sort of grunted in response.

"Let her go," I said, looking through the papers again. I thought I had seen a Post-It note from Alberta earlier, but I couldn't find it.

"What?" Raine hissed. Too bad she wasn't bonded to anyone. Then I'd have a legit excuse for her whack behavior.

"Let her go," I said firmly. I looked her straight her in the eye. "And don't ask questions."

"But-but-"

"Unclench your fists and let her scamper off where ever." I dropped the clipboard down to my side and took a step closer to Raine.

"Fine," Raine muttered, obviously pissed off. She let the Moroi go, and she ran off but not before, under her breath, saying, "It's always the blood whores that get the babysitters."

My eyes found Dimitri's for a split second. Even just looking at him calmed me down from the comment. I had caught the double meaning.

"Happy?" Raine asked harshly, staring after the girl, murder in her eyes.

"It takes more self control and maturity to let that girl go than to give her a black eye," I said without answering the question.

"Whatever," Raine said, starting to walk away. I grabbed her arm and made her look me in the eye.

"Don't blow me off. Story. Now." I tightened my grip on her arm, and Dimitri moved to a bush closer to me.

"She had her hands and mouth all over Andrew in the ground floor lounge when I went to go find him for his mom. Now can I please go?" Raine asked, shifting into her uncomfortable, sit-in-the-back-of-the-classroom facade I had come to know very well.

"Drop the pretenses. Is that all? You aren't leaving anything out?"

Raine threw her hands up in the air, shaking my grasp on her.

"Is it?" I repeated.

"Yes, it is," Raine snapped. "Can I go now? I've got an interrogation to get through, and if you haven't gotten it through that thick guardian skull of yours, you're wasting my time." She left without my answer.

Dimitri came up from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed, leaning back into his chest, and he buried his nose in my hair.

"She's more difficult than you were," Dimitri noted softly, blowing strands of hair around with his breath.

"Yeah, because at least I had a few more months of maturity and two years of illegal freedom under my belt. I doubt she's ever had to face down a pack of psi-hounds her mortal enemy sent after her and her best friend." I started looking for the Post-It note again.

He flipped me around and cupped my face with his hands. Delicate fingers brushed hair back behind my ear, and his eyes - filled with compassion and love and support and understanding - searched my face.

"Rose," he murmured. I kept flipping through the papers, hellbent on finding the Post-It note. "Roza, look at me. Please."

"What?" I asked, my eyes flicking up to his face for half a second before going back down to the clipboard.

"Stop acting like your mother and look at me, dammit."

"I just have to find this one thing...." I muttered, shaking my head. I was only slightly acting like Janine. But I had no idea. I hadn't seen her in years, and rumor had it that she ran off with some guy she knew from years ago. Probably just more Moroi gossip Lissa was obsessing over.

"No you don't," Dimitri said. He took the clipboard out of my hands and dropped it on the ground beside us.

"Now what did you-"

Dimitri's lips cut off the rest of the sentence. He kissed me with an intensity I hadn't felt since our first time in the cabin oh so many years ago. He nipped my lower lip and I couldn't help but let out a moan in response.

He pulled away, chuckling. "You really need to stop stressing over Raine and her social life."

"I'm not stressing out over Raine," I said, my lower lip jutting out into a pout.

"You're right - you're obsessed with her," Dimitri corrected. His eyes smiled back at me when I slightly sagged out of defeat.

"If taunting me with rather erotic fantasies helps me calm down and stop stressing out over things I have no control over, then what was your outlet seven years ago?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

He wound a lock of hair around his finger and grinned. "You just answered that for yourself."

I stared back at him, trying to figure it out, when the pieces clicked.

"While I was busy staking dummies and running laps, you were mentally undressing me?" My tone was on the disbelief side.

"I wouldn't go that far," Dimitri said.

"Liar," I retorted. I would've poked him in the arm, but my hands were hanging by my side, crushed to death by Dimitri's own protective ones.

"I would go much farther than what you said," Dimitri said quickly while nodding his head. He pulled me into his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head. "You know me too well."

I bit back my response. It was definitely a mood killer, and I was rather enjoying being in Dimitri's arms in a place I'd once had never been to allowed to be.

He gave me a soft kiss on the lips before letting me go and handing my clipboard back to me.

I smiled and glanced down at the sheets it had flipped to. I felt the smile falter when I read the note.

"That's weird," I noted. I showed Dimitri the Post-It note, aware of our dangerously close proximity. "That's from Alberta, correct?"

"Yes," Dimitri said slowly, his eyes scanning over it. "I thought he was dead. No, I know he was dead."

I saw Stan come over to us, and I took a step away from Dimitri.

"Did you get-"

"Alberta's note?" I finished. I felt Dimitri stiffen slightly. Working closely with Stan for a few weeks had turned our bitter relationship into a friendly one. Apparently Dimitri didn't seem to like that.

Stan nodded. "Arthur _was_ dead when you found him at the Badica's house, right?"

"He was drained completely. After the test results came back in, it was found that the message written on the mirror in blood had been Arthur's," I said.

"This is weird," Stan said dryly.

"I guess our lessons get pushed back a day, then, if we're supposed to give him Monday for a lecture and Q and A session." I gave him a wry smile.

He chuckled quietly and nodded in agreement, like I had caught him off guard with my obvious statement.

"Alberta's off campus until Sunday night," said Stan after an awkward moment of silence. The tension rolling of Dimitri was getting unbearable, even for me.

"So is there anything else for me to do, boss?" I deadpanned, and Stan's guardian face broke long enough for a smile.

"You're free until your security shift. As are your other fellow minions. Run along and let them know," Stan said.

"You just made a joke, Alto. I'm impressed." I nodded. "Will do, Chief." I gave him a mock salute. Returning the mock salute, he turned on his heel and went to go settle a dispute that was heating up.

"Chief?" Dimitri asked. It was hard to ignore the biting tone.

"Well, I don't suppose you would have liked me calling him 'Comrade', now would you? Besides, he's not even Russian at all," I added with a shrug of my shoulders.

Dimitri opened his mouth when Lissa came flying out of nowhere, throwing her arms around me excitedly. She pressed into my side hard enough that I could feel the tiny bump that was the only sign she was pregnant.

"Tatiana's softening up!" Lissa rushed, excitement flowing through the bond.

"Why?" Dimitri asked. Lissa let go of my neck, and Christian, who had come up behind her, just smiled at me.

"I called her to ask a favor since I thought it'd be a nice surprise and I hadn't used up any of those unspoken offers royals have with each other."

News to me that royals had unspoken standing offers with each other.

"I asked if Christian could work from here for a week and I just take a break from my Queen-to-be duties for my mental health and the baby's. Dimitri would act as our guardian, along with the other ones on campus."

I raised an eyebrow. Lissa could barely keep her thoughts from me.

"We don't go back to the Court for another eight days!"

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**Review!**

**And I know it's small, but I had to cut it off there. You'll see. :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**To make up for last chapter's plot twists and major cliffie....**

**And, I dedicate this chapter to _Airvamp12_, who's disappointment over the lack of lemon-ness in Chapter 21 gave me a new plot idea. :) Don't worry, it's not too graphic. **

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

_So don't be afraid  
Of what's in front of you  
Cause I know I'm strong enough  
To_ _carry us through_

_So consider this the moment  
As defining who you are  
And I can fix what's broken  
And here's how I'll start_

_Just come with your heart  
And leave the rest to me  
And I promise I will be  
And I'll be your cure_

~ Jordin Sparks, "The Cure"

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We ordered in Chinese food and the four of us pigged out in Lissa and Christian's guest room.

I still didn't know how to handle the news that Dimitri and Lissa and Christian were getting to stay for the week. It would be great for my nonexistent sex life, but when they left, it would just be all that much harder. All in all, I should just accept it and worry about Dimitri leaving later. Or, at least, that's what I told myself.

I pushed my thoughts aside while I stuffed myself with lo mien noodles and fortune cookies everyone else had given me. Lissa and I caught up on what we did the day before, and Dimitri and Christian joked around about the craziness that was Moroi politics and gossip. It felt too good to be true.

"So have you found out if it's a girl or a boy?" I asked Lissa once we had cleared the plates away and were all just sitting against the couches.

She looked to Christian and then lightly touched her stomach.

"It's a girl," Christian said, speaking for Lissa. "Last ultrasound showed that she's looking more and more like a person and not a blob."

"The heartbeat's the crazy part," Lissa admitted. She threw an arm around my shoulders and leaned against me.

"How?"

"Imagine trying to wrap your head around having another person inside of you," Lissa murmured, putting a hand on my stomach to help with the imagining. "This little piece of life in you that's growing and will one day be this tangible person that will be able to walk, talk, eat, run around, stress you out, delight you to no end. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it."

I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of Lissa and Christian. If I did decide to spend the rest of my life with Dimitri, kids wouldn't be an option. Living on the Court would make having kids easier; ever since I came to realize Dimitri did in fact love me and no one else, I'd had a couple of fantasies every once in a while about holding his child in my arms. But I would always have to tell myself that it was impossible, and the dream would evaporate into thin air.

"Earth to Rose?" Lissa asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Lost in thought."

Lissa didn't pry. Something in my face must have tipped the others off because Dimitri gave Christian and Lissa a small smile.

"I think we'll be on our way. Rose has to be up for her shift in a few hours," he said. Which was a lie. Stan later told me that he felt slightly bad for me not being able to be with Dimitri now, so he was going to double his shift and my shift together.

We stood up, and did the whole hugging and goodbyes thing. When we closed the door behind us, guilt swarmed through the bond. I put a hand on Dimitri's arm and slipped into Lissa's head.

"I hope it wasn't anything I said," Lissa said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Christian sat down next to her. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I mean, she would talk about having a mini Rose running around every so often, and I think Amber's making her realize that it's either being with Dimitri or having a kid."

"You seem more perceptive of her feelings," Christian noted, putting his arms around Lissa. I was surprised that Lissa could read that well into me; more surprise came when I realized that she and Christian had changed the name of their first daughter. Years ago, they had mapped out what their kids' names were going to be.

Lissa shrugged. "It seems obvious. Dimitri or kids. Though she seems more inclined to stay with Dimitri than have kids."

I pulled back out. It was creepy that Lissa was reading me this well.

"What?" Dimitri asked as we started walking again.

I told him. He was quiet as he unlocked his door and shut and locked it behind us. I had brought clean sets of clothes over to his room in a duffel bag, along with some sleep stuff.

We lapsed into a deeper silence, each of us thinking, as we changed and got ready for bed. Tonight, it seemed, we would actually do some sleeping.

I was lying in bed on my back when Dimitri crawled in next to me. He pulled me closer into the middle of the bed and put a careful, protective arm around me. I was still on my back, staring up at the ceiling. He rested his head on my shoulder, his forehead lightly touching my neck.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly. I was silent for a few minutes before speaking. I was afraid that if I spoke, the sob in my throat would come running out.

"It wasn't a wish that I spoke a lot about." By the way Dimitri was holding me closer, I knew we were both thinking of children.

He grunted softly. I took that as my go-ahead.

"I didn't talk a lot about it only because I knew my chances of having a child were slim with being a guardian and all. When Lissa and I were back here for our senior year, I was too caught up in my own immature world to even want children.

"But you know what Lissa said. Her getting pregnant and my maturing over the years has sort of brought back that fantasy, that quiet wish. At that Christmas party a few years ago, when we had to write down our one wish for Christmas that year and throw it in the bonfire, I put down that I wanted a child."

"But if you-"

I cut Dimitri off by shaking my head. I still hadn't looked at him yet.

"I wouldn't give up my love and engagement with you just to be able to have a cute little toddler running around calling me 'Mommy'. It's not worth it. But if given the opportunity and if the time is right, I wouldn't mind it. Even if the father wasn't you."

Dimitri was silent. I still stared at the ceiling. I didn't trust myself to look at the man who would one day promise to love and cherish and protect me to the day I died.

"I'm sorry to burden you with my unattainable dreams," I whispered, my voice barely croaking out the words. Dimitri sat up and his eyes tried to find mine. I looked at the door. I still couldn't trust myself.

"Rose," he breathed. "If we're going to be married one day, then you need to know that whatever problems you have also end being mine." He put a hand on the side of my face that was buried in the pillow and gently urged me to look at him. I closed my eyes and swallowed. "I love you. Nothing is going to change that. Net even your wishes that you feel you can't get. You're my world, my life, the other half of me. I don't want you to feel like you can't get something you deeply want."

I couldn't keep listening to Dimitri if I was going to get through this night emotionally unscathed. I would have gotten out of bed but he was nearly lying on top of me.

"Love, I'm not promising I can give you a child, but that I'm open to anything you think will help make that dream of yours come true. Rose, please look at me, baby." He was pleading by the time he finished. The shock of him giving my lovey-dovey nicknames was diluted by my inner conflict between opening my eyes or keeping them shut.

"Roza."

I broke. I looked up at his love-filled eyes, his worried expression, and completely broke down. I pulled his shirt closer to me when the onslaught of tears came.

I couldn't believe it. I was falling even more in love with Dimitri. Here he was, offering me something I had never given much more than a few minutes at a time's consideration to, and it was so sacrificial on his part. The sobs that racked through my body couldn't even begin toconvey what I felt.

He gathered me into his arms and pulled me into his chest. We lied there on our sides, next to each other, while I let the screams and howls I never knew I could let loose fly around the room. Through my emotional haze, sobbing uncontrollably seemed like the most natural thing to do.

At some point, I felt Dimitri start to cry into my hair, too. We clung to each other, pressing into the other so tightly it was a wonder I didn't suffocate. However, he held onto his emotions much better than I did.

Eventually the sobs and screams on my part died down into quiet cries. It seemed I had used up my entire bodily water supply with all the crying I did that night.

When I sniffled a few times and pulled my head away far enough to dry my eyes, I saw Dimitri's shirt was soaked.

"Your shirt...." I started to say, but I faded off, afraid to talk.

Dimitri looked down. I unattached myself while he yanked it off and threw it on the floor. But as soon as the cloth hit the floor, I was back to clinging to him.

He literally had been my lifesaver, and deep down, I knew I owed him. Even if it was just a tiny bit, I owed him.

We laid in silence for hours. When the sun was starting to set, I still didn't feel like talking, let alone getting out of bed. I was thinking of how to give back to Dimitri what he had just done for me. I knew Dimitri must've been thinking deeply about something, because every so often he would run a hand through my hair. I was about to give up in thinking of ideas when an idea struck me.

"Dimitri, love?" I whispered, looking up at his face. He eyes flicked open and I nearly lost myself in those dark brown eyes I had come to absolutely adore.

"Yes?" he murmured, dragging his fingers up and down my arm. His fingers toyed with the strap of my camisole.

"You know how I get two weeks off to come back home in the summer?"

"Yes." His fingers quieted while I looked at me.

"I was thinking....I don't want to wait until I'm done with my sentence here. I want to get married in August, during those two weeks I have off. We can always do the honeymoon thing later, but I want to officially, on paper, be yours before another year and God knows what passes."

Dimitri gave me a huge smile. "I would love that, Roza."

I returned his smile and scooted up to kiss him, my spirits lifted with knowing I was giving something back in return.

The kiss, however, suddenly turned from sweet and happy to deep and heavy. The feelings from the night before came pouring through, and this time, when I clung to Dimitri, the feeling was completely different. It was like I was drowning and he was the only thing to keep life and air flowing back into me.

He pulled me on top of him, his hands curiously exploring underneath the flimsy cotton camisole I wore. Playfully, I sat up and straddled Dimitri. I shook my head as he tried to sit up with me, and I took my time in pulling off the thin piece of clothing off my body. By the time it was over my head, Dimitri wore a hungry expression that made me let loose a giggle.

I dropped the camisole next to Dimitri's drying shirt, and he rolled me over.

"You torture me sometimes, Roza," he murmured in between kisses.

"Oh really?" I asked breathlessly as his lips sought refuge beneath my jawline. "In a good or bad way?"

"Both," he huffed before his lips collided back with mine.

Without really thinking about it, I wrapped my legs around his waist and dragged his boxers down. He shuddered and I nipped his ear before dragging my lips down his jawline.

"You're taking too long," Dimitri growled, ripping of the tiny shorts I wore. I flipped him on his back before he could reach anything else.

Pinning his hands above his head, I started grinding in circles against him just above his waist. He groaned loudly, and I giggled against the soft flesh of his neck.

"Someone's feeling better," Dimitri said throatily, his Russian accent tumbling out of his lips in thick waves. I couldn't help but feel the victory in hearing his accent. I rarely heard it anymore and it was so much more appealing than the American accent he had adopted.

I continued with my teasing grinds and my mouth travelled farther down his chest.

Groaning louder, Dimitri tried to break out of my restraining grip, but I just pushed his arms farther into the pillows. His eyes and face were filled with absolute and untainted lust and want.

"Why, my Russian jailor, do you think you're getting on top any time soon?" I purred in his ear, dragging my body up and down as the seductiveness dripped from my voice.

It must have been too much for Dimitri to handle, because with a strength and speed I had never seen before, he had me underneath him in the same location he had just been lying in. My own arms were pinned up above my head and I couldn't help but giggle as he tried to glare at me. The underwear came off before my brain registered it.

"That was the definition of bad torture, Roza," Dimitri moaned.

"Now you're the one who's stalling," I pointed out. I let out a gasp when he proved my words wrong.

He lost his grip and my back arched as pleasure, pure unadulterated pleasure, coarsed through every fiber of my body. I dug my fingernails into his back and moaned so loudly that Dimitri faltered for half a second.

After a record-breaking minute and half, Dimitri dropped down next to me. We were both covered in a thin layer of sweat, and Dimitri was panting slightly.

"Somebody tired?" I teased, dragging a finger down his arm.

"Are you asking for a round two? Because I may have to tell you that you'll have to take a rain check," Dimitri said, trying to regain some control of his breathing.

I pouted, something I didn't normally do. Dimitri closed his eyes and swallowed, momentarily facing the ceiling before looking back at me.

"Don't do that. You look too sexy for me to stomach when you do that pout."

My lower lip jutted out even further, and I tilted my head into the pillows even more.

Dimitri groaned. "Rose. I can't."

"Can't? Or won't?" I clarified, rolling up next to Dimitri and tracing his lips.

"The things you make me do," Dimitri huffed before picking up the intense kissing from earlier. All thoughts of children were out of my mind as Dimitri and I sinned our hearts out on the day of rest.

* * *

**Review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

_I wake up, put my poker face on  
It's roughly the same hand I was dealt yesterday  
I_ _stand up and stare out at the skyline  
It's roughly the same town that I saw yesterday_

_Living doesn't come first try  
It takes a lifetime getting it right  
It takes a lifetime to learn how to sing  
To find my place in the world's symphony_

_I wake up and bandage these scars  
The scars of my heart that prove  
That I'm still alive, that I'm still alive  
Living doesn't come first try  
It takes a lifetime getting it right_

~ Kris Allen, "Lifetime"

* * *

"I don't know. Paris seems too foo-foo," I said, looking over the shoulder of Lissa at her laptop.

"Foo-foo?" Lissa asked. "Is that even a term?"

"It is in my book. Now start scrolling, Dragomir."

She sighed and went down the rest of the Web page.

I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hands. This was the first wedding I was planning and even though I was on day one, I was thoroughly sick of looking at honeymoon locations, flower bouquets, dresses, shoes, reception hall samples….The list never ended. And we were doing a brief overview so I could "get a feel for what's out there."

Personally, I was all for going down to City Hall in Pittsburgh and getting it over with there. I was only agreeing to this madness because I knew a part of Dimitri wanted the whole bit with a church and reception.

But ugh. Getting there would prove to be a test to my patience, something I ran low on.

Lissa looked at the clock in the upper right corner. She heaved another sigh and weariness streamed through the bond.

"It's way late," she said. "You should probably go get dressed for your shift that begins in twenty minutes."

"And you need to go sleep," Christian muttered, patting my head sleepily from his position on the couch.

"Wrong head," I said, moving his hand to Lissa's head.

"Mmm. Whatever," Christian muttered. "Rose needs to leave so I can fall on to the floor."

Lissa rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about it. Go. I'll take care of him."

"You sure?" I asked, double-checking that she'd be okay with dragging Christian into bed. He had dozed on and off while watching us map out the overview.

"Positive," Lissa said with a tired smile.

"Thanks," I said quietly. I gave her a one-armed hug and went off to check in for my security shift.

As I took up my circuit around the back end of the campus, I mulled over what to do with Raine.

She was too hard and stubborn and broken to be easily reached. Things either had to be explained step-by-step or given time to be thought about. If I tried to hard, she'd shut down; on the other hand, she'd shut down if I didn't try hard enough. It was a difficult situation to get through.

I was kicking leaves into the thick of the trees when a voice interrupted my train of thought.

"What's on your mind?" Stan asked, slowing down and switching direction to match my pace.

"Too much for your brain to handle this early," I replied, stifling a yawn.

"No sleep?"

I shook my head. "Wedding stuff. It's really tiring. But anyway, I don't want to burden your head this early with my issues."

"Try me," Stan said, giving me a wry smile. "I've been known to give an ear to Alberta's infamous rants."

I nearly tripped when I heard his words, but I kept walking with my ears and eyes peeled despite what it may have looked like.

"You know Raine Ivanov?" I started, giving Stan a sidelong glance. His hands stuffed in a thin jacket, he looked straight ahead and nodded.

"Well, Alberta put me on as her 'mentor' so to speak…."

And so I told him everything since my first run-in with Raine up until her incident with the Moroi girl over Andrew. Much to my astonishment, Stan didn't even interrupt when my voice got too loud or when my emotions might have escalated into a fury because of some particular incident.

"And I don't know how to reach her, to get inside her head," I lamented, finishing up my story. We had started back-tracking our footsteps and were going in the opposite direction.

Stan was silent. He still stared straight ahead and the silence we lapsed into wasn't awkward or weird at all.

He opened his mouth and then closed it, like he had rethought what he was going to say.

"I'm open to anything," I offered.

"Maybe you're going about this entirely wrong," Stan mused.

"Excuse me?"

"Just hear me out." He gave me a brief glance before looking to his right.

"Okay."

"Maybe you're going about this the wrong way. Instead of trying to get in Raine's head, try understanding her more, connecting with her. You said she doesn't know who her father is and that her mother died. She's had some family issues. The two of you may be able to bond over that," Stan suggested. "And then from there, you'll understand how she thinks and then 'getting in her head' will be easier."

I hadn't thought of it like that. I hardly knew my mother – after the attack's aftermath ended, she was back in Europe until my trials and graduation. From there, Lissa and I moved into the Court and my mother ran off to Europe again. The only contact I got from her was an email every so often and a Christmas card two weeks after Christmas.

My father was a completely different story. I knew he was Turkish and that his name was Ibrahim, but doing any research beyond that was something that would be a side project for after I retired. If he was still alive by then. I had heard Tatiana refer to him and my mother a few times over the years; by the tone of her voice, I knew asking would send me onto thin ice faster than I could count to 1.

"Thanks. I'll try doing that," I said.

"Great." Stan gave me a tight smile, like he hadn't expected this conversation. "Always glad to help."

"Any time," I told him. He just nodded and turned back around to do his own circuit.

I walked in silence alone for a few more minutes before the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

"Dimitri," I said. "Don't try to sneak up on me."

Leaves crunched loudly before I felt someone pull on my ponytail.

"I wasn't trying to. Though the fact that you could feel my presence means you haven't lost any of the skills I taught you." He smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey," I chastised. "I'm the mentor right now. No Zen crap. Can't take it."

"Alright," Dimitri said.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. Dimitri's fingers found mine and comfortably tangled them with mine. I rested my head against his arm. We automatically slowed and fell in step with each other. It would have been perfect were we somewhere else woodsy and I technically wasn't working. But considering my situation, I would just have to take whatever I could get.

"What were you talking to Stan about earlier?" Dimitri asked tensely. I pulled away and looked up at his worried expression. I stopped, holding his hand firmly to keep him from walking away.

"Why are you so damn worried about Stan and me forming a friendship? I'm just fucking happy he still doesn't treat me like shit anymore." I didn't know where the anger came from. When I checked the bond, the feelings of happiness poured through. I didn't know who Lissa was healing, and at that moment, I didn't care.

Dimitri didn't say anything. Disgusted, I wrenched my hand away from his and walked farther into the trees. Away from the path, away from Dimitri, away from my circuit, I just let my feet travel wherever.

I ended up by the pond/lake where Tasha, Lissa, and Christian were hanging out where I first met Tasha Ozera. I sat down on a log near the edge of the water. I felt Dimitri come up behind me and then take the seat next to me.

I put my head in my hands and tried to push the looming darkness out of my mind. Whoever Lissa was healing was taking a lot out of her, and it was definitely starting to show up in the bond. Quietly, I slipped into her head.

"Did you see who attacked you?" Stan asked, leaning over a student.

He shook his head. Lissa's hands were still pressed to his temples, and she was getting weaker extremely quickly.

Stan fell silent. He opened his mouth when the student said something.

"Whoever it was hit hard and fast," he said weakly. "Like a Strigoi. They mentioned something about getting this guy named Victor what he wanted. I have no fucking clue what she meant, though."

Lissa froze, the spirit stopping in its tracks. I knew my own body must have tensed, too.

Victor was contacting Strigoi. No doubt to reach Lissa and possibly myself. And since we were on less warded ground, it'd be easier to storm the campus for us. Strigoi had successfully infiltrated our campus better. Knowing how much of a bureaucratic bitch Kirova was, very little may have been done with upping the wards.

This was fucked up.

"Watch your language," Stan reprimanded, looking at Lissa. "Are you okay, Princess?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. So should he," Lissa added, nodding towards the kid. I suddenly realized that it was Andrew – I hadn't noticed it since Lissa didn't know him specifically.

"It was lucky that Mr. O'Laughlin here wasn't hurt too severely, being attacked by a Strigoi while outside the wards, now wasn't it, Mr. O'Laughlin?" Stan asked as Lissa left.

I pulled back into my own body. Dimitri was staring at me, worry etched in his features.

"Victor's contacting Strigoi somehow," I whispered. "One of them attacked Raine's boyfriend while he was outside the wards."

"How?" Dimitri asked.

I shrugged and stared out over the water.

"Stan and I were talking about how to best approach Raine," I said after a minute. I didn't expect a verbal reply, and when Dimitri dragged me close to him, I wasn't surprised.

He pulled me on to his lap and my head comfortably fit in the crook of his neck. His cheek rested on the top of my head.

"I wish I could make things better for you," Dimitri murmured.

I grunted in response.

"I mean, I know that things are pretty good, but I wish that you could be home with me, planning our wedding, while I thought up some clever, witty way to be the father of your child. I wish that you could be there to convince Adrian two bottles of Smirnoff a day isn't healthy, to help Lissa out with her Queen-to-be duties and through her pregnancy, to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see before I go to sleep. I wish things could be normal for you."

I didn't speak. Learning that Victor was at large, even behind locked bars, was disturbing, and Dimitri telling me that he wanted me home seemed a little out of place. Nonetheless, I kept my mouth shut, playing with the zipper on his jacket.

When the sun was noticeably lower in the sky, we made our way back up to the campus and towards the cafeteria. Breakfast was eaten in silence in what was quickly becoming out corner. When Lissa and Christian joined us, they seemed to notice the silence between Dimitri and I; they kept quiet, too.

Walking to class was quiet, too. Dimitri nodded with an "Art" towards the guardian that I had once seen dead. He knew he was supposed to preside over my tests years ago, and when he saw me, he gave an all-knowing smile. I just smiled back.

Class passed by with tedious slowness. Arthur talked about some experiences of his and let a few kids ask questions. Only the juniors and seniors seemed to want to know how he had come back from the dead. Arthur only smiled and quietly avoided the question. I doubted even the sophomores knew he had been dead at one point.

Lunch was a silent affair, the four of us wrapped up in our own worlds. When I slipped into Lissa's head for a brief moment, she was contemplating breaking the silence to make sure I knew about Victor. She didn't because she was afraid of getting a murderous glare from Dimitri. I nearly laughed when I pulled back out of her head.

In the afternoon, Dimitri and I split up. When I settled in for the Russian class, I was secretly glad that Dimitri wasn't there to ask more questions about my choice of classes.

I was also quickly picking up on grammar bits they had learned earlier in the year. Which meant that I wouldn't have to worry about saying something grammatically incorrect, especially since I would lose a year of studying since I moved the wedding up. Great.

"Miss Ivanov?" I asked the Russian teacher, waiting until the frosh cleared out.

"Yes, Guardian Hathaway?" she replied, looking up from the papers she had been shuffling.

"Rose, please," I said, automatically correcting her without realizing it. "I was wondering if there was any way I could get the curriculum from the first semester."

"Oh, sure, yes," Miss Ivanov said, flustered that I would ask something like that. She looked around a little bit. "Do you mind my asking the reason behind your request?" Her thick Russian accent made it hard to understand her quick-speaking.

I shook my head. "It's sort of for personal enrichment."

"And Guardian Belikov, no doubt," Miss Ivanov joked, glancing at Dimitri out in the hallway. I'd have to give him pointers on how to stand nonchalantly in a hallway full of high school aged kids.

"A little," I admitted. The door was closed and I doubted that Dimitri could head me.

"Why?" Miss Ivanov asked, searching through filing cabinets, grabbing papers left and right.

I blushed, looking down at the desk. "I thought it'd be a nice gesture to say my vows to him in his native language."

"I was wondering why you frequented this class every day and paid more attention than most of my students." Miss Ivanov gave me a warm smile. She slid some papers in a folder and looked me straight in the eye. "I can help you with them, if you wish."

"That'd be great!" I replied, my spirits lifting extremely high. It'd be great to have another native speaker help me out.

She smiled. She couldn't have been older then thirty and the few lines on her face proved it.

"Fabulous," she said, tucking hair behind her ear. "How about we work during lunch for the next few weeks?"

"Perfect," I said honestly. Dimitri could live with my sitting with someone else for a meal.

"Good," Miss Ivanov confirmed. "Just come tomorrow with an idea of what you want to say. I'll call my sister later. She wrote her own vows; she'd have a few tips for us unmarried women." She winked at me and handed me the folder.

"Lunch," I confirmed, taking the folder. Miss Ivanov nodded. "Thank you, Miss Ivanov."

"Well, Rose, if I get to call you by your first name, just call me by mine. It's Anya."

"Anya," I repeated. I smiled. "See you tomorrow."

She nodded as I left.

"What was that about?" Dimitri asked when we started walking again.

"You'll see, Comrade," I replied, snickering at the irony. "You'll see."

* * *

**Review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**First update of the year! And I don't know where the sudden long length of this chapter came from. But I knew about the plot twist. ;)**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

_They say they don't trust  
You, me, we, us  
So we'll fall, if we must  
Cause it's you, me  
If they hurt you, they hurt me too  
So we'll rise up, won't stop_

_They don't know  
They can't see who we are  
Fear is the enemy  
Hold on tight, hold on to me  
'Cause tonight_

_It's all about  
All about us, all about us  
We'll run away if we must  
'Cause ya know us  
It's all about us (It's all about us)  
It's all about love (It's all about us)  
In you I can trust (It's all about us)  
It's all about us_

~ t.A.T.u., "All About Us"  
(modified lyric placement)

* * *

"A toast," Tatiana said, "To those novices that shall, in a day's time, be guardians."

Everyone raised their glasses and champagne flutes up in the air, my self included. With a nod, I downed the champagne in one quick swallow.

"Wow, Rose," Stan commented as I lightly slammed the flute back on the table. "I didn't know you were the drinker."

"You can thank my freshman year for that feat," I replied. I looked across the cafeteria to where Dimitri, Adrian, and a bunch of my other friends sat. Dimitri was staring back at my rather close seat next to Stan, worry in his eyes. I couldn't help that I was the third most important guardian in the school and therefore had to sit at the head table during the senior novice's gala. It was all Alberta's issue.

"We all have to be proud of something, I guess," Stan said, breaking my out of my thoughts. I laughed and snuck a glance at Dimitri's table. Yep. The green-eyed monster had hit Dimitri square in the forehead.

"So what's your little known accomplishment?" I asked as a waiter came by and refilled the champagne flute.

"I wouldn't call your ability to treat champagne like vodka a 'little known accomplishment'," Stan retorted.

I had to give a full-hearted laugh at that one. I took a smaller sip of the champagne this time.

Stan got a distant look in his eyes for a minute while he tried to think of something.

"Any day now," I muttered, and Stan gave me a mock glare before looking me straight in the eye for a moment, contemplating his words.

"I can play the piano," he said, staring out over the crowd of students and Royals with guardians in the back of the room.

"And 'Chopsticks' is the best you can do," I joked. Dinner was finished, and after the Queen's repetitive ceremonious toast, people were milling about and talking.

He chuckled, shaking his head. He took a sip of champagne, his fifth glass of the night.

"I can play piano as well as you can speak English," Stan corrected, smiling.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," Stan said.

"Wow," I said. "That's unexpected."

"We've all got secrets, Rose," Stan said in what he thought was a playful manner. "Some of ours are just bigger than others and some of us are better at hiding them than others. Like Belikov. It's so obvious that he's got an issue with us being friends."

"Yeah," I agreed, remember months ago when Dimitri freaked out when he spied on me and saw Stan and I talking about Raine on my security rounds.

"And you, it's obvious you've got some issues with other people. Who those people are, however, is a different story. Janine would probably be among them, am I correct?"

"Yes, Captain Obvious," I said. "If I only hear from her once in a year, then I might have some beef with her."

Stan just chuckled and turned to talk with Alberta about tomorrow's graduation ceremony and tattooing session for the seniors. My eyes scanned the cafeteria. When they found their mark, I excused myself to no one in particular and made my way over to the table.

"How are you holding up?" I asked Raine, plopping down in a seat next to her.

"Fine," Raine said, her "I'm bitter so leave me the fuck alone" façade up.

"Andrew talking with friends?" I prompted. Raine sighed, resting her chin in her hand.

"Yeah," she muttered. She looked around at the string quartet in the corner, the people out on the balcony, the Queen talking with some Royal.

"You two doing anything over the summer together?"

"No. He got assigned to his buddy, Zeklos. Jeremy, I think. He'll be too busy following Zeklos from party to nightclub to party to nightclub. The days of him visiting his father back in County Kerry are over."

"I'm sorry."

"'Sokay."

"I wish I could make things easier."

"Hopefully I'll be assigned to someone that ends up at the Court. I can do practically anything then. If I become a guardian at all."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it seems like insanity that I'm supposed to drop my life to watch some ungrateful Moroi's back for the rest of their life. They've become so fucking dependent of us and I'd rather were clogs than those god awful shoes we're given. It's about time they learn to fend for themselves. That is, y'know, won't be such of an issue if we keep lying around and waiting for the Strigoi to attack us."

"You've been hanging around an Ozera too much lately?"

Raine laughed – actually, sincerely laughed – and shook her head.

"Go hand with Christian a little. The two of you will get along great," I suggested.

"Will you do introductions?" Raine asked.

"Sure," I said, standing.

We ambled over to Dimitri's table. I poked Christian on the shoulder.

"Ozera, I've got another supporter for you in need of a little heated discussion. She believes in not becoming a guardian because it's about time that Moroi stand up for themselves and stop acting so fucking dependent of the dhampirs. Raine, meet Christian Ozera, King-to-be."

"Well, Raine, pull up a chair. It's time for some Moroi politics bashing," Christian said cheerfully. Raine grinned at me and pulled a chair over. She hadn't even sat down all the way when they dove into an already heated discussion.

I smiled at everyone else including Dimitri before leaving too quickly for anyone to follow me.

I made my way over to Anya. She excused herself from the Royal she was talking with.

"How's my niece doing?" Anya asked.

"Currently in a heated discussion of Moroi politics with Christian Ozera," I told her as we moved to a different table.

"Well that's good," Anya murmured as I pulled the paper out of my pocket.

"Got the last few lines?" she asked as I smoothed the paper out. We'd been working on my vows for the past few months, along with some extra Russian lessons to get me up to speed on what I had missed earlier in the year.

I nodded.

"Let me hear them in English," Anya said.

"And it's because of this undying love for you that I've come to accept…" I told her my last few lines, and she nodded.

"Let me see the paper." She held her hand out for the paper. She began translating the English into Russian when I felt a hand clamp on my shoulder.

"What are you and Miss Ivanov doing?" Dimitri asked, completely honest.

"Showing her what different Russian expressions look like," Anya said, white lying extremely well. "She was curios."

"Ah," Dimitri said.

"I don't need you to dictate everything I do, you know," I muttered.

"So what are some expressions she asked about?" Dimitri asked. "If you don't mind, that is."

"Sure," Anya said, handing Dimitri a napkin I hadn't noticed she had jotted something down on.

"That bastard needs to die?" Dimitri translated, confused. He chuckled, handing me the napkin.

"Hey, Comrade, if you weren't going to teach me how to swear in Russian, I had to use other resources," I replied, going with the flow of everything.

"Well, have fun," Dimitri said, kissing me on the top of my head. "Just wondering. I see you two together a lot, so I was curious."

I smiled up at him as he walked away.

"Thank you," I breathed when he was out of earshot.

"No problem." Anya gave me one of her usual winks that said that we were in it together. "I still get an invite, right?"

I nodded. In return for helping me with my vows, I was inviting her and Raine, who turned out to be her niece, to my wedding. I was also helping Anya out with her American colloquialisms.

She finished translating the lines and told me in typical teacher fashion to try out the pronunciation on my own later. We'd meet up in a few days to firm up anything I needed to finalize and to fix any pronunciation issues I had.

By the time I was done doing my socializing rounds and lecturing Andrew to keep in touch with Raine or so help me God I'd hunt him down and make him call her, nearly everyone else had left. My friends – Lissa, Christian, Adrian, Eddie, Fya, Dimitri, Mia, my mother, and David, who was looking more like my mother's boyfriend these days – were still hanging around. After Christian mouthed for me to hurry up and then yawned overdramatically, I just sighed and finished up my conversation regarding tomorrow's graduation with Alberta.

"Let's go," I said, walking by the standing group. I had been at the school for six months out of my eighteen month sentence, and they wanted to get me off the campus for a few hours. Of course, it wasn't like the Queen had to know about it or anything; school was technically in session until tomorrow and I wasn't supposed to leave when the school wasn't on break.

We ended up in a hotel in Missoula. It was one of those fancy Hiltons where they had tables and chairs scattered around the indoor courtyard. We pulled a few together, ordered drinks, and relaxed. It was a nice change of scenery, and even Dimitri seemed to loosen up.

"So what do you do for a living?" I asked David, who had taken a seat next to me. We had talked briefly earlier, but seeing as Janine knew him well, I figured I'd do the same.

"You'd never believe me," David said, setting his drink down on the table.

"Try me. Weird is my middle name," I joked.

He smiled tightly for a moment, looking at the waterfall in the middle of the indoor courtyard.

"Really. I can handle anything." I took a sip of the Diet Coke in front of me.

"I am an artist," David said slowly. He played with the rim of his beer. "Well, a photographer, but that falls under being an artist."

"Why'd you abandon becoming a guardian?" I asked, not missing a beat or blinking an eye.

David gave me a sidelong look. "You were serious."

"Told you," I replied, finishing off my drink.

"It didn't feel right for me," David said, answering my question. "From an early age, I had an interest with cameras and lighting and photography. When I was taking shots of my classmates in my school's quad, I felt more at peace and in touch with myself than when I was beating the shit out of some practice dummy."

"Huh," I nodded. "So how did you meet my mom?"

"I do freelance for the British branch of National Geographic. I was in Scotland doing a piece on their endless amounts of sheep, and she was visiting her parents. The pub was tiny, and she accidentally tripped into my table, sending my whiskey flying all over me."

I chuckled. My mother tripping must have meant that it was a very small building for the chairs to be so crowded.

"Mind you, it was a small trip, but she did brace herself against my table. We got kicked out, and since my hotel was on the other side of town, she offered to drive me through the pouring rain. It was all very Hollywood if you ask me. Turns out that we both went to the same academy, but I had been a few years ahead of her."

"Which would explain the lack of knowing each other," I finished. David nodded, taking a drink from his beer.

"So, flipping the tables, how did you meet Dimitri?" David asked, a mischievous glint in his eye. "I knew you were still in school, but details, details, lass."

"You've been with my mom too much," I muttered, trying to control the blush in my face.

"C'mon." David nudged me playfully.

"Lissa and I had ditched school in freshman year. Dimitri was the head guardian of the team that brought the two of us back. To catch me up, he was roped in to giving me extra practice sessions. And, well, you know…."

"Ah," David said, nodding. "It was kept secret for a while, I assume?"

"Yep," I replied. We talked for the next hour about dhampir relationships, and by the time we were all ready to leave and the $250 tab paid, I was really starting to like David. He told me he'd send along bits of his work he thought I'd be interested in.

We had driven in multiple cars, and I went back with just Dimitri. We pulled out of the parking lot first, and I ignored the speed limit, pressing my foot against the gas pedal harder than I should have.

"What's with the speed?" Dimitri asked as I merged into the far left lane.

"Frustration," I said, staring straight ahead. An old Lady Gaga song was playing softly on the stereo.

Dimitri stayed quiet and I muddled over my feelings. When the sign for our exit came up, I flew past it.

"I need to drive right now. I can't go back there so quickly," I explained as Dimitri raised his eyebrow. "I don't want to succumb to that hellhole right now. If Tatiana yells at me for breaking the rules, someone needs to tell her to go fuck herself because she might get more pleasure out of that." I tossed Dimitri my cell phone. "Here. Call Lissa and let her know what I'm up to."

"Alright," Dimitri said, flipping the phone up.

"She's on speed dial. Number two."

We drove in continued silence, broken by Dimitri talking to Lissa.

"She says to be safe and that she'll see you tomorrow," Dimitri murmured, setting the phone down in the cup holder. The car he had rented was a black Porsche – way more expensive than what he could've afforded. Right now, though, I was thankful for its speed.

"Mind telling me where we're going?" Dimitri asked softly, his tone curious and calming.

"I have no idea," I admitted tiredly, glancing at him. "I'm thinking of starting my summer vacation early. You up for that?"

"I would be if my stuff wasn't at the school," Dimitri said.

"Oh, live a little, Dimitri," I playfully whined. I leaned back against the dark leather seat. "It'll be fun to do a road trip."

"A month with just the two of us," Dimitri mused. He gave me a wry smile that I saw under the passing, orange street lights. "You might get bored."

I laughed. "Like I haven't heard that before."

"It's true," Dimitri replied.

We talked small talk and the sign for the Idaho/Montana Stateline passed by us at noon. It was our midnight, but I felt like a live wire, ready to keep going for forever.

"I love you," Dimitri said as we passed a sign that said "Seattle – 40 miles". He rested a hand on my knee, seeing as my hands were occupied with the steering wheel.

"I love you more," I teased, looking at the man who put up with my craziness.

"I doubt that," he replied. His hand slipped down my leg, and I could tell it was totally intentional.

"Trying to distract me, Comrade?" I asked, putting as much Rose Hathaway seductiveness as I could in my gaze.

"Is it working?" Dimitri whispered huskily, leaning over to kiss my temple. I stared straight ahead as his hand slipped in between my legs. They involuntarily squeezed shut, and Dimitri chuckled against my neck.

"What you're doing is dangerous," I muttered, trying to keep my voice even. I failed miserably as his teeth grazed my neck.

"I don't think so," Dimitri murmured. His hand pressed harder against me. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel.

Eventually he pulled away, and my tension disappeared. We agreed that stopping in Seattle would be a good idea, and since it was nearing dusk, we pulled into the parking lot of a rather expensive hotel per Dimitri's directions.

"Adrian gave me control of a spare account he made for me before we get married," Dimitri explained as the valet took the car away.

I didn't catch the name of the hotel on the way in, but the restaurant was expensive enough that they didn't bother putting the prices on the menu. It was one of those places where they expected you to be able to pay whatever they threw at you.

"So what's with the sudden interest in flashiness?" I asked as Dimitri gave the waiter a platinum credit card I'd never seen before. We were definitely in human territory. It was obvious with a quick sweep of the restaurant patrons.

He shrugged. "Since we only have three weeks before the wedding, we might as well have some fun."

"It's like Halloween," I joked. "And we're the little kids pretending to be royal Moroi."

"Yes it is," Dimitri agreed with a laugh as the waiter came back with the card. Dimitri signed the slip without a second glance, and we walked up to the front desk.

"Do I want to know how much was on that bill, Mr. Ivashkov?" I teased as the woman behind the counter gave us a room.

"It might give you a heart attack, Mrs. Ivashkov," Dimitri murmured in my ear. A shudder ran through me as the receptionist handed Dimitri a room card.

The suite was bigger than our apartment back home. Everything had an open, white feel to it, and the bathroom was blinding white. I didn't have time to admire anything before I crashed in the middle of the king-sized bed, fully-clothed.

The next day was spent shopping at the higher end stores in Seattle. While not the same as New York and Los Angeles, the city still held many of the same designer stores Lissa was accustomed to.

We were walking through the streets, looking for a place to eat lunch, when my cell phone rang. We had dropped our replacement clothes and new suitcases off at the hotel earlier.

"Where are you?" It was Lissa. "Everybody else is freaking out because you and Dimitri didn't come back the other night."

"Don't worry," I told her calmly. "We're in Seattle."

"Seattle? What the hell are you doing in Seattle?" Lissa's voice accusatory and I felt jealousy and disappointment float through the bond. I put my mental barriers against the bond up and answered her.

"Road trip. I'm starting my summer vacation earlier."

"You missed the graduation. You know, that big ceremony you told everyone you'd be there for."

"Change of plans."

"I'm sorry, but-"

"Liss," I said, cutting her off. "I don't want to hear it. I haven't had a moment to myself in years, and I just want to be able to do I want for once."

"Fine," Lissa snapped. "But don't expect me to cover your ass."

"I don't expect you to," I told her cheerfully. She hung up, and I snapped my phone shut.

"Lissa doesn't like us taking off," Dimitri guessed as we crossed the street. I shook my head and slipped my phone in the front pocket of my new skinny jeans, an indulgence I hadn't worn since school.

We were silent until I spotted a McDonald's. Normalcy at its best.

"Let's go. I'm starved," I said as I grabbed Dimitri's hand.

* * *

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	26. Chapter 26

**I'm back! Awesomeness. My college stuff until April...which is when I find out about acceptance/rejection. Hopefully, it's the former and not the latter.**

**Also, random side note, I would've updated sooner in the week, but I came down with strep and a very close call with bronchitis, two former childhood enemies of mine. :/ But I'm all healthy and stuff, thanks to antibiotics.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

_This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us  
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust  
Got my heart set on anywhere but here  
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years  
Steady hands just take the wheel, every glance is killing me  
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead_

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be_

_Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're here and not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't really what you need  
Oh, can you see what I see?_

~ OneRepublic, "Stop and Stare"

* * *

A week later, we ended up in San Francisco. After the hotel in Seattle, I insisted that we didn't have to stay in such nice hotels – no sense in wasting money early on. Besides, it was a little unsettling for both of us; we were undoubtedly out of our element. So Hilton hotels it was.

Still, all I needed to make me happy was Dimitri and my sanity, both of which I'd had plenty of in that week. I had put my mental barriers in an effort to keep Lissa and the darkness out – her whining and bitching was driving me crazy by day three – and they were working flawlessly.

"We have to have some idea of where we're going," I declared, sliding into the booth in front of Dimitri. I'd had to get Lissa's present in the mail (even if my taking off on her made her pissed, she still was my best friend) and her birthday was in a few days. I threw my bag against the wall.

"I was thinking about that last night," Dimitri said, closing the menu. It was our third day in the Bay City, and I was getting restless.

"Is that why you seemed so distant?" I teased.

He nodded. "The Great American Road Trip."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Think about it. Up until my charge's death ten years ago, I'd never been outside Russia. You've seen, what, the West Coast?"

"Idaho," I added, looking over the diner menu. "Montana."

"West Coast, for all intents and purposes." Dimitri waved his hand absently.

"You could pass for tour guide in one of those ghost towns in Nevada and Utah and Colorado," I joked, mentally tossing between a hamburger and salad. "Leather duster and all."

I heard Dimitri chuckle.

"What?" I asked. I tossed my closed menu on top of his.

"That right there shows just how little you know about your own country," Dimitri replied.

"Not true," I tossed back. "Scotland is technically my homeland."

It was Dimitri's turn to raise an eyebrow. The waitress came by for our order before I continued on.

"Really?" Dimitri asked.

"Yep. Apparently I was born in Scotland, so I've got citizenship there. My mother made sure I got this weird dual-citizenship thing the Queen can hand out. She got it for me when she shipped me off to the Academy. Found out when I was twelve, since Janine thought it was high time I get my own passport from there. Even Lissa doesn't know."

The waitress set down our drinks and took off.

"Why not?" Dimitri asked as I dumped several packets of sugar into my iced tea.

"It never came up. I guess she just assumed I was born in America somewhere. But I get a cool passport from Scotland." I grabbed my bag and found the wallet I always kept with me whenever I left the apartment. It was big enough to hold my two passports and other monetary necessities.

I slid the passport across the table to Dimitri. He started flipping through it. Most of the stamps were either from London, Glasgow, or New York.

"It's twelve years old, so it's got to be renewed. I just use my American one if I have to travel with Lissa or something."

He gave me back the passport.

"So what's up with your citizenship, Comrade?" I asked, keeping a straight face despite the concealed joke.

"Work visa."

"Don't you have to report where you work?"

"If I do, I haven't gotten in trouble yet." He gave me a small, wry smile.

That night, I was sitting cross-legged on the bed, pouring over a giant-ass map of the U.S. Dimitri had gone down to the business center to check his email.

I heard the lock click open, followed by the door. In my peripheral vision, I saw Dimitri toss the room key on the table by the window. He slid on to the bed, resting his head on my lap, careful not to disturb the map, notebook, and uncapped red Sharpie.

Major cities had been scribbled on the top sheet of paper in the notebook, with notes and question marks and mileage times lining the margins. The same cities had been circled on the map, with routes via major highways traced between cities.

"How long have you been working on this?" Dimitri asked quietly, almost as if he didn't want to disturb the peace.

"Since you left three hours ago to go run errands. I ordered room service at nine because I got hungry." I rubbed my eyes, looking at the clock in the mirror across the room. Dimitri picked up the notebook. I lightly dragged my fingers up and down his arm absentmindedly.

We had stuck to living on a human schedule in the past week. This way if somebody had dispatched guardians to go find us, they'd be asleep while we moved on. It was an extremely effect tool if they happened to be from the Court, unused to the daylight schedule.

"Are you accounting for–"

"Travel time? Yes, I am. Hence the calculator." I held it up, waving it in his face. "If we drive fast enough and stay in one place for only a day and night, then we can finish in time for the next school year to start back at the Academy."

"What about the wedding?" Dimitri asked, trying to keep his voice normal. I could hear the worry in it, though.

"We wait. Or we elope. It's your choice. Personally, it's pretty much going to happen at the Court and I don't mind." I pulled his hair band out and started running my fingers through it absent-mindedly.

"We're going to cover the entire state of Florida in a day?" Dimitri's voice turned to incredulity.

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p'. "A city a day."

Dimitri twisted so he facing up at me. He raised an eyebrow.

"Have you ever been to the world's largest tourist trap?"

His eyebrow went higher.

"Disney World," I said in a stage whisper, feigning a mock conspirator-like vibe.

Dimitri was silent before saying, "You're serious." It was more like a realization than a question or statement.

"Never been. The farthest west of the Mississippi Lissa and I went was Chicago. If that's even west of the Mississippi."

He sat up and continued looking over the notebook and map while I yanked my phone off its charger on the floor next to the bed. I was replying to a text from Eddie when Dimitri spoke again.

"At least there's some educational value to this."

"What are you, my personal after-school special?" I muttered, closing my phone. I set it on the nightstand.

Dimitri shook his head. He tilted it and the map crinkled as he laid a finger on a question mark I had made near Washington, D.C.

"Why the question?" he asked.

"It's a maybe. An if-we-have-time spot. New York and Toronto have the same thing." I pointed to the islands that made up New York and then at Toronto.

"Why Toronto?"

"Why the questions?" I countered. I smiled. "If I'm going to keep up my Russian stereotypes, then dammit Comrade, I'm going to drag you to the NHL Hall of Fame playing techno music from Madonna's glory days in the car."

Dimitri pulled me into his side, chuckling. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Up until you were twenty-four, either non-existent or on the other side of the globe."

That only made Dimitri laugh even more. It was that light, melodious, carefree laugh I heard so rarely.

I kicked the stuff off the bed and onto the floor.

"You seem more carefree, happier," I noted, looking up my one and only love.

Dimitri paused before answering, opening his mouth and then closing it.

"This is, truly, the first time I'm on my own without having to worry about the Queen or Royals or being a guardian or anything of our world. And then I see you interacting with waiters and cashiers and authority figures with a grace and poise and naturalness I don't see when you interact with those from our world. You interact with them – people you have no connection with – like you've been nothing but fully human your entire life.

"It seems like you're happier out here, living away from everything else. Nobody questions you or judges you because they've heard nothing but rumors about you. I know you like that. And it makes me wonder if you just didn't take this impromptu trip for just two weeks," Dimitri finished.

"I don't know," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. It was muffled by his shirt. My arm not being crushed into his body wrapped itself around the front of his waist. "I mean, I guess so. I've never thought about living with humans again."

I felt Dimitri catch his breath.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him again.

"We should." There he went again, acting all cryptic.

Copying his earlier movements, I raised an eyebrow.

"Live among humans," Dimitri clarified. "We should just go back to the Court, get our stuff, and leave everything behind. You can visit with Lissa through the bond and in your dreams with Adrian. I really don't have anyone besides you outside of my family. Hell, my family lives in a blood whore commune." There was no malice or disgust in his tone.

I pulled away from Dimitri. "I couldn't just leave Lissa like that. It'd kill her."

"You can visit with her face-to-face then," Dimitri allowed. I looked down at the white bedspread and shook my head.

"No, I couldn't. I'm sorry."

"It's not like it would be all that surprising. Many Royals already look down on our relationship."

Staring at Dimitri, it made a little bit more sense to me. Most Royals – even non-Royals and dhampirs – disapproved of how Dimitri and I first fell in love. If we took off to live with the humans, most would probably not think too much of it.

"Let me think about it," I finally said.

Dimitri nodded. "I'll wait. Whatever makes you happy."

"Great." I pushed the covers of the bed back, wriggled out of my jeans, and then slipped in between the sheets. I shut my bedside light off and got comfortable, heaving a content sigh.

"What are you doing?" Dimitri's voice came from the darkness.

"Going to sleep. You can find your way by moonlight."

I could picture Dimitri shaking his head as he got off the bed. The bathroom door closed softly and then opened a few minutes later. I felt the bed sink with his weight and his body press up against mine.

"'Night," I grunted.

"Goodnight, Roza."

* * *

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	27. Epilogue

**If you haven't read Chapter 26, go back and read it! It's not an A/N anymore. :) But this, my friends, is an epilogue. I'm sure you're all very excited for the threequel to this, _And I Would Be Happy_, no? Well, you will be. ;)**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

_This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us  
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust  
Got my heart set on anywhere but here  
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years  
Steady hands just take the wheel, every glance is killing me  
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead_

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be_

_Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're here and not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't really what you need  
Oh, can you see what I see?_

~ OneRepublic, "Stop and Stare"

* * *

"I'm glad you got your fill of Russian stereotypes for one day," Dimitri told me. We were right outside Chicago and only had a day or two left to our Great American Road Trip. Looking for a place to stay meant going into the city, and with the sun going down, we were racing against the clock a little bit.

"So am I," I announced, fiddling with the music.

"Pay attention to the road," Dimitri said, playfully slapping my hand away from my phone.

"I am, Comrade, sheesh." I returned both hands to the steering wheel.

We were silent for a few moments, the weight of all our tourist gifts in the backseat seeming to be more of a gorilla in the corner then the fly in the next room over. Or something quiet and un-looming-like. Maybe I needed my head to be examined. My thought process had been off the past few days.

"You never did tell me why Andrew was outside the wards that one day he got attacked by the Strigoi," Dimitri said out of nowhere.

I nearly drove into oncoming in surprise. There wasn't a road divider, so it would've been easy to become friends with someone else's headlights.

"He was apparently meeting friends for some fun. Though he looked extremely uncomfortable telling Raine and me that," I added, frowning as I thought of the memory.

"Huh," Dimitri replied, looking out the window.

"And I didn't hear anything else of Victor after that, either. It was really strange. Raine and Andrew didn't really know how Victor impacted me personally, so I can only guess that they've completely forgotten about it."

"That'd be a fairly accurate guess," Dimitri agreed. We lapsed back into silence.

When our exit was coming up (and merging over four lanes of traffic suddenly became imperative), a black Mercedes suddenly drove up next to us. Thinking nothing of it, I tried to speed ahead of the car to get over the four lanes. Instead of letting me go, however, the car stayed even with us.

"Asshole," I muttered, speeding up even more. The car kept the same pace as us, though, much to my displeasure.

"Seriously? Doesn't this guy have a life?" I asked as the car's window rolled down.

Something flew from the black car into our car, smashing the passenger window Dimitri had just been leaning against. I looked over to see who had thrown what now looked very clear to be a rock and nearly had a heart attack.

I could have sworn on my life that it was Victor Dashkov. The plotting glint in his pale eyes, his wrinkly skin, everything was the same. Irony struck, however, and I felt my arms jerk toward the left, and straight into oncoming traffic.

The last thing that registered in my brain before the blackness of unconsciousness was Dimitri shouting my name, his voice frantic.

* * *

**Review! (After reading this insanely long Author's Note, of course.)**

**I promise to put up the next story, _And I Would Be Happy_, by the end of the weekend. If I don't, I'll hand you all my address to come hunt me down, because I know the suspense and "WTF?!" is killing you/running through your mind right now. ;) So add me to your author alerts, and you won't have to go hunting for it!**

**You can PM/review me for a sneak peek of AIWBH if you want it. Also, you can also PM/review me for a complete list of Rose and Dimitri's Great American Road Trip and the possibility of a one-shot of one of those cities.**

**Peace, Love, Vampires. Jaro-ship.**


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